What kind of an utter idiot french kisses her lover’s room mate (not once, not twice, not thrice, but FOUR times!) at THEIR housewarming party for everyone to see?

Why, the Helga kind, of course.

And we almost had a perfect weekend. As usual, things were going great— had gone great— and I had to fuck something up. This is what our Saturday night consisted of:

• pesto pasta and Korean chicken barbecue that I made.
• pizza he ordered.
• me helping him hang his laundry.
• me explaining season one of Veronica Mars to him.
• the two of us watching the first 3 episodes of Veronica Mars (season two).
• the two of us watching half of Battle Royale before conking out
• great sex.

This is what our Sunday morning consisted of:

• waking up next to D (I am happiest when this is the case).
• ordering breakfast from McDonald’s.
• watching Just Like Heaven.
• me giving him a massage.
• the two of us watching a boxing match on local tv.
• the two of us watching SOP Gigsters.
• great sex.

This is what our Sunday late afternoon consisted of:

• me being a bitch to him during the drive down south to his Alabang house for their housewarming party.

This is what our Sunday evening consisted of:

• me flirting and then kissing his room mate H. Four times, according to our co-workers.
• D finding out.
• D sending me a message: “fuck you, tapos na tayo”. In english: fuck you, it’s over between us.
• me reading the message. Me seeing him enter the house. Me leaving the table. Me pushing him towards the dirty kitchen at the back of the house.
• me telling people who walked in on us to (can you) please leave (!!!)
• me crying.
• me throwing my phone against a wall. Twice.
• D picking up the pieces and putting my phone back together.
• D telling me to stop crying and stop making a scene.
• me making a fool out of myself and crying to everyone and in front of everyone. CO-WORKERS. CO-WORKERS.
• me crying to my direct superviosr. He asked “Anak, what’s wrong?” and I couldn’t exactly say that D had just dumped me. So I answered with a “my boyfriend broke up with meeeee.”
• me hurling my guts out in their toilet. Amazingly, I had my toothbrush and toothpaste with me.
• my direct supervisor and one of the shift managers conspiring against MY shift manager so I wouldn’t have to go to work at 4am. “Helga, just don’t tell JJ you have work, all right?”
• me crying some more to people and to D.
• me falling asleep on someone’s bed.
• me waking up outside my building at 2am.
• D taking me up to my unit.

And the night ends with me sitting on my bed, drinking water; while D stood by my door. No apologies, no hugs, no good-bye kiss. He just told me he needed to leave and get his car. And I just nodded.

I am now trying to make begging him take me back. He said he honestly doesn’t know, that he’ll have to think about it. All I can do is wait.

:(:(:(:(:(

And yesterday’s notable conversations:

Helga: So. I kissed D’s room mate.
Allah: THAT IS SO VERONICA MARS! I’m sorry, I just had to say that. Who’s Duncan, who’s Logan!

Anna: Weber, why are you sad?
Helga: I kissed D’s room mate.
Anna: Wow, biatch na biatch ang dating!

I messed up. I’m sorry.

Just remember me when. :(