AWWWW.

October 26, 2006 at 10:21 pm | Filed under joyful girl, the internets

Thank you, Mara, for the e-mail.

From an isangsikreto entry:

Go to my LJ and check out the “she’s totally awesome” component on my layout.

Dude, I, like, miss being an LJ Celebrity or whatever.

OKAY, SO I’M OFF TO SUBMIT ANNA BERDAN’S PHOTO TO SOME MAIL-TO-ORDER BRIDE SITE. CHEERS!

Comments (3)

LET’S FUCK UP OUR HIRING PROCESS!

October 22, 2006 at 9:10 pm | Filed under a waste of human capital, bitchin' a ride

Here’s a story.

A girl, let’s call her Helga, decided some weeks ago to leave the company in which she is currently employed at, in search of a better bigger paycheck. Her friend, let’s call him Drew, referred her and anoher friend (let’s call her Allah) to the company he works for. Let’s call this company Company S.U.WTF. (S for suxxorz, U for Unprofessional, and WTF for Whiskey Tango Foxtrot).

Now Company S.U.WTF. first called Allah, and to make a sad story short, she was not hired.

Company S.U.WTF. called in Helga for an initial interview with Recruiting, and was set up with a FINAL interview with one of the department heads. And then Company S.U.WTF. called up Helga while she was at the beach last weekend, scheduling ANOTHER FINAL interview with the same dude who interviewed her.

She shows up at Company S.U.WTF., was met by a confused man: Didn’t I interview you already?

Helga: Yes, but S—y called me up last Monday and set me up with a final interview?

Helga was told to sit in some teeny-weeny office (a cubicle, more like it) and waited for a lifetime (okay, so it was about 10 minutes, but when you’re doing nothing— just staring at photos and certificates, it does seem like a fucking lifetime. I was half expecting for my grandkids to call me up for a visit), and then was told he (Department Head Man) would see her in 10-15 minutes, and she could go down for a smoke if she wanted to. She does. She comes back, runs into Department Head Man as she steps out of the elevator.

Department Head Man apologizes, says the HR department will be contacting her to finalize her employment.

Helga: So I’m hired?

DHM: Yes.

So Helga was hired right outside the elevator lobby. Whoop-de-do! She goes home, and at 8am, the HR department of Company S.U.WTF. calls her up to schedule a 2pm contract signing.

Helga goes back to Company S.U.WTF., signs the contract, drafts her resignation letter, and celebrates by watching House on DVD while eating cracker crumbs and pancit canton. She would start working for Company S.U.WTF. on November 20.

Saturday night, she wakes up, checks her phone for messages and finds that someone with a Sun Cellular number texted her. So management decided to cancel hiring for the November 20 date and would resume hiring NEXT year, January. NEVERFUCKINGMIND that contracts have been signed, resignations announced, resignations drafted, moms and bosses and co-workers informed— Helga was fired even before she has started her training for Company S.U.WTF. Oh, and they’d call her next year.

Helga’s mom is asking for her copy of the contract, so Helga and Helga’s mom could consult a lawyer.

This song is so cool.

Comments (18)

UNFABULOUSNESS

October 14, 2006 at 9:01 pm | Filed under joyful girl, photos

Look, I have photos :shocked:

First five photos taken during the Milenyo Fifth-Floor Party.

Look at how cute Anna is :D

Do NOT mind the guy with the peace signs.

Anna: OMG, what did we ever do to deserve this???

How very unfabulous :hmph:

I don’t know why this photo’s size is different from the rest. But ANYWHORES, I wasn’t drunk yet. I was just resting my legs.

:blank::blank::blank:

And OMG, it’s been ages since: Meatshop photos!

Biceps, biceps, hide your fat biceps.

Duck lips and Mother Nature.

Anna has the same smile in ALL the photos.

I was seriously drunk by the time this shot was taken.

I have the most bullshit internet connection right now. 

So I really should get some sleep, since I have to be up before six am tomorrow. I need to pack, get my laundry when the washers open at six am, and then be at the bus station to meet with the best friend and the co-worker. Galera weekend, baby. I don’t care if I’m obese. I’ve been eating the whole day (who the hell can resist flaming chicken wings???), and with the way the weather’s going, I’m pretty sure we’re gonna end up in parkas while glugging down rum and dropping Vis. Sounds like a weekend!

Comments (7)

OUR LANDLADY CALLS US ‘RENEGADES’.

October 10, 2006 at 9:08 am | Filed under a waste of human capital, ditz drivel

I’m slowly returning to my 18/19-year old self, and what worries me is that this whole getting drunk as fuck every night doesn’t make me feel guilty or bother me at all. It’s like I’m actually okay with it.

I passed out last Friday and skipped work. An unauthorized absence, so the shift manager told my team leader to slap a memo on my ass. That ruins my chances of getting promoted in three months. And you know what? I’mglad for this CITE form: it made the decision for me. I’m resigning, really. I’ve been hesitant if I actually wanted to leave this company, what with the opportunities, but come on: my lifestyle requires a fatter paycheck. And right now, I don’t care about climbing the call center career ladder; I just need a bigger disposable income.

It’s cowardice: fucking up on purpose so I won’t have to make a decision.

Halloween’s coming!, let’s dress up as farmers! And OMG, so we’re moving to the new house in less than three weeks and we’re throwing a wedding-themed hosuewarming party. But.. but.. come on, it’s Halloween. We should have a costume barbecue party, don’t you think (yeah, we <3 barbecues)!!!

Comments (6)

The Longest Weekend aka We, The Escapists

October 2, 2006 at 5:22 am | Filed under breaking up the girl, technicolor lover

From: Weber, Helga Gabrielle
To: Plazo, Bryan Del

Subject: on why I was absent last Friday (and other stories)

Yan,

I was unable to make it to work last Friday due to the following reasons:

• No thanks to the typhoon and lousy engineering (which rendered my windows and ceiling useless in keeping the wind and rain out), my condo unit was flooded with…well, rain water. I had to move out of my room into an extra room (provided to me by the building management), which unfortunately still held the belongings of the previous occupant (a Blue fanboy with a vast collection of gossip magazines, a Sam Milby album, a cheerleading outfit, and lots and lots of smelly laundry). Suffice to say, the room was highly uninhabitable.

• No thanks to the typhoon (again!!!), our building (and the whole of Katipunan Avenue) lost electricity and water. I live on the fifth floor, and I once almost died going down the stairs when I slipped on a puddle of water. There were lights on when this incident happened. There weren’t any lights last Thursday night/Friday early morning. My phone had died some hours before my shift (roughly around nine pm) so I was unable to check if anyone near my area had electricity and running water, so I could bum some bath water and toothbrush water.

In summary, I was unable to report to work last Friday for two reasons: 1) my condo unit was flooded; 2) no water + no electricity = smelly employee.

Thanks,
Helga Gabrielle Weber

I need not mention in the e-mail that more than half of the fifth-floor tenants (which includes me) convened in Alon’s room to drink the typhoon away. So yes, I was substantially drunk when Melenyo fucking WRECKED my condo unit. The typhoon abracadabra-ed a river in our hallway. A lake, my floor. And a poltergeist, my ceiling. It was crazy.

And I shit you not about Blue fanboy (whose room we have christened L’hotel Orphanage). He has a clearbook filled with Blue paraphernalia and a shitload of magazines that kept us entertained for two light-less, fan-less, TV-less, and water-less days.

FRIDAY NIGHT, WE CHECKED INTO A HOTEL BECAUSE WE COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. WE WERE SUICIDIAL (well, I was) AND RABID BECAUSE THE PHONELINES WEREN’T WORKING. WE WERE READY TO CHECK OURSELVES INTO A HOSPITAL IF WE COULDN’T FIND A VACANT HOTEL ROOM, THAT’S HOW DESPERATE WE WERE.

Saturday, we clean our rooms. We drinky-winky while doing so, if only to escape reality a bit. I was visibly buzzed by the time I was bringing my things back into my dry room. I conk out at 11am…

…And wake up at 9am the next day (Sunday). An hour into a game of Free Cell, Allah comes home from work and we open a bottle of rhum.

You know what, I’m gonna shut up now and just say it:

D AND I ARE OVER.

And so I bring you Sad/Angry Girl Anthem #1:  

Just tell me what you’ve got to say to me,
I’ve been waiting for so long to hear the truth,
It comes as no surprise at all you see,
So cut the crap and tell me that we’re through.

Now I know your heart, I know your mind,
You don’t even know you’re being unkind,
So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways,
Just use me up and then you walk away,
Boy you can’t play me that way.

Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.

When I saw my best friend yesterday,
She said she never liked you from the start,
Well me, I wish that I could claim the same,
But you always knew you held my heart.
And you’re such a charming handsome man,
Now I think I finally understand,
Is it in your genes?, I don’t know,
But I’ll soon find out, that’s for sure,
Why did you play me this way?

Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.

Well I guess what they say is true,
I could never spend my life with a man like you,
I could never be your woman.

-YOUR WOMAN, WHITE TOWN

I’m tired. Why must The Last Goodbye be so irresistible for moments like these, when we know it’ll only make us cry.

PS: I came in for work, turns out I DON’T have work today.

PPS: My tita bought me a laptop, I’m getting it when her friend comes here to the Philippines.

PPPS: I’m gonna be okay, okay, okay. :)

Comments (1)