#1: Graduate from Wanarexia Idiosa and get into the real thing: Anorexia Nervosa. Listen to The Carpenters and scout for So Little Time episodes for thinspiration.

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#2: Fine. Food isn't that easy to give up. So. Be a functioning bulimic.

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#3: He hates it when you drop Vis (yes, this is about a boy, it is always about a boy, everything is about a boy), but you just love those li’l blue pills. So drop ‘em, mix ‘em (with your drink, ne?), or snort ‘em. JUST DON’T PROFESS YOUR UNDYING LOVE FOR HIM WHEN YOUR HEAD’S UP IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ CLOUDS AND YOU’RE CRASHING INTO FURNITURE AND SHARP OBJECTS, BECAUSE THAT AUTOMATICALLY MAKES YOU THE LOSER. Deleting all contacts from your mobile phone helps. A lot.

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#4: He also hates it when you get drunk (because you do, and I quote, a lot of "stupid stupid things"). And of course, you're always practically drunk and on your favorite drink, which he naturally hates because like I said, he hates it when you're drunk.

What the hell, right? Even teddy bears love that stuff!

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Okay, folks, I'm off to take my last cigarette break (oh oh, I've figured out a way to sneak my mobile in and out of the floor: tuck it into my bra, in between my boobs :woohoo: ). 11.30am seems so far away, I can't wait to knock on Tanduay Rum Barbie's room so we can start drinking.