THE LONGEST WEEKEND aka WE, THE ESCAPISTS

October 2, 2006 at 5:22 am | Filed under breaking up the girl, technicolor lover

From: Weber, Helga Gabrielle
To: Plazo, Bryan Del

Subject: on why I was absent last Friday (and other stories)

Yan,

I was unable to make it to work last Friday due to the following reasons:

• No thanks to the typhoon and lousy engineering (which rendered my windows and ceiling useless in keeping the wind and rain out), my condo unit was flooded with…well, rain water. I had to move out of my room into an extra room (provided to me by the building management), which unfortunately still held the belongings of the previous occupant (a Blue fanboy with a vast collection of gossip magazines, a Sam Milby album, a cheerleading outfit, and lots and lots of smelly laundry). Suffice to say, the room was highly uninhabitable.

 

• No thanks to the typhoon (again!!!), our building (and the whole of Katipunan Avenue) lost electricity and water. I live on the fifth floor, and I once almost died going down the stairs when I slipped on a puddle of water. There were lights on when this incident happened. There weren’t any lights last Thursday night/Friday early morning. My phone had died some hours before my shift (roughly around nine pm) so I was unable to check if anyone near my area had electricity and running water, so I could bum some bath water and toothbrush water.

In summary, I was unable to report to work last Friday for two reasons: 1) my condo unit was flooded; 2) no water + no electricity = smelly employee.

Thanks,
Helga Gabrielle Weber

I need not mention in the e-mail that more than half of the fifth-floor tenants (which includes me) convened in Alon’s room to drink the typhoon away. So yes, I was substantially drunk when Melenyo fucking WRECKED my condo unit. The typhoon abracadabra-ed a river in our hallway. A lake, my floor. And a poltergeist, my ceiling. It was crazy.

And I shit you not about Blue fanboy (whose room we have christened L’hotel Orphanage). He has a clearbook filled with Blue paraphernalia and a shitload of magazines that kept us entertained for two light-less, fan-less, TV-less, and water-less days.

FRIDAY NIGHT, WE CHECKED INTO A HOTEL BECAUSE WE COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. WE WERE SUICIDIAL (well, I was) AND RABID BECAUSE THE PHONELINES WEREN’T WORKING. WE WERE READY TO CHECK OURSELVES INTO A HOSPITAL IF WE COULDN’T FIND A VACANT HOTEL ROOM, THAT’S HOW DESPERATE WE WERE.

Saturday, we clean our rooms. We drinky-winky while doing so, if only to escape reality a bit. I was visibly buzzed by the time I was bringing my things back into my dry room. I conk out at 11am…

…And wake up at 9am the next day (Sunday). An hour into a game of Free Cell, Allah comes home from work and we open a bottle of rhum.

You know what, I’m gonna shut up now and just say it:

D AND I ARE OVER.

And so I bring you Sad/Angry Girl Anthem #1: 

Just tell me what you’ve got to say to me,
I’ve been waiting for so long to hear the truth,
It comes as no surprise at all you see,
So cut the crap and tell me that we’re through.

Now I know your heart, I know your mind,
You don’t even know you’re being unkind,
So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways,
Just use me up and then you walk away,
Boy you can’t play me that way.

Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.

When I saw my best friend yesterday,
She said she never liked you from the start,
Well me, I wish that I could claim the same,
But you always knew you held my heart.
And you’re such a charming handsome man,
Now I think I finally understand,
Is it in your genes?, I don’t know,
But I’ll soon find out, that’s for sure,
Why did you play me this way?

Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.

Well I guess what they say is true,
I could never spend my life with a man like you,
I could never be your woman.

-YOUR WOMAN, WHITE TOWN

I’m tired. Why must The Last Goodbye be so irresistible for moments like these, when we know it’ll only make us cry.

PS: I came in for work, turns out I DON’T have work today.

PPS: My tita bought me a laptop, I’m getting it when her friend comes here to the Philippines.

PPPS: I’m gonna be okay, okay, okay. :)

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