Let it be known that I thought long and hard about my purpose/s, resolution/s, and goal/s for this new year, making sure that all are achievable and that I will not resort to killing babies JUST BECAUSE.

So. First, a quick review of the year that was. 2006 was generally awesome. Two and a half heartbreaks, I am now invincible and still single lololol. Now that that’s out of the way, on to what I am totally jonesing for for 2007. Heartage for maximum optimism.

<3 Stop being such a fattie and stay 105 pounds for at least three consecutive months. Fourth month, I should be 104 mooharharhar. I will curb my hunger by taking a shower and reading How To Be A Happy Teenager (as suggested by Clem. But not to suppress my appetite, but what the hell).

<3 Start saving money. Do not take out whole salary every payday to leave stash of cash to stagnate in closet. Do not keep salary in iBank account. Hand money to mother so she can deposit it into my Metrobank account where it can earn interest. Also, do not pay rent; that way, I will always be 4,400 pesos richer than my would-be ex-housemates come the 30th of every month.

<3 Stop itching for drama. So not happening. Unfortunately.

<3 Get inked. This year, I will finally get that mermaid tattoo I’ve been wanting since March 2006. PROMISE.

<3 Learn to control anger. Will not mutter “get the fuck out of my way, you stupid bitch” at the random lady standing in front of me at the 7-11 line. Will not think that homosexuals with popped collars and girly voices and lime green sneakers need to be kicked in the nuts with the heel of my shoe. Will stop cursing at the PBCom elevators for being such a stupid software screw up.

<3 Get married. Oh yes, this year, I will con some filthy rich himbo into marriage. Future husband must be loaded, as he will be shouldering annulment costs. He must also be as cute or cuter than a Chihuahua puppy or a Siamese kitten. Immediate termination (I mean ANNULMENT) if future husband starts showing any semblance to a full-grown Chihuahua dog or full-grown Siamese cat. Must be secretly gay or bi-sexual (grounds for annulment). Must be fucking great in bed.

(I’m serious, people. I want to be married, but only until December 31, 2007 because in 2008, Mark Herras will be my boyfriend. I want my name to have that hyphen. Weber-MILBY. Shit, that sounds so wrong on way too many levels. And I doubt he’s great in bed.)

<3 Take more photos. Which reminds me: have Powershot repaired, DAMN IT.

<3 Go on more vacations. Get out of this blasted city more often. Do not pick up mobile numbers of stray post-adolescent boys while at it.

<3 Quit with the drunken drama. When drunk, hand mobile phone to someone else to hide. Do not start fights with ex-lover/s.

<3 Pick up a hobby. Note to self: collecting lovers is not considered one.

<3 Learn how to let things go. Differentiate which battles are worth fighting, and which ones deserve just a quick chain-smoking sesh before finally giving it a rest. Chikaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

And finally:

<3 Have more faith in myself. Stop selling myself short. I am, after all, God. But only to some people. And that’s still pretty significant. I think.