So I, like, died last night. Another awesome Saturday. Classic Helga: emptying out Sanya’s medicine jar on to the kitchen table and popping anything in sight. Or maybe just a few pills. And then Adrian gave me half a Stilnox. So yeaaaaaah, Misha had to carry me to the guest room cos I passed out in the living room. Good times!

Also, because I am just plain awesome like that, my right ankle is fat. On my way out Sanya’s kitchen, I missed a step and fell. Hard. Nah, not really. But it did hurt. Like how a princess would feel when she finds out Prince Charming has been making out with her, I don’t know, apple picker, and is therefore gay. So it was painful and I wasn’t even drunk yet. I swear I wasn’t, because if I were, I would’ve dropped the bottles of vodka and margarita and the ice tray I was carrying BUT I DIDN’T. So there.

Nobody saw me fall, which was good. I had to go back and sit in the kitchen for a while because I was seriously about to cry. Sanya thought I was talking to myself lololol. Anyway, now I have a swollen ankle and a little limp. And I start working tomorrow. Nice.

Ice’s Cup B and Klassy’s Pall Malls. D.O.P.!

So obviously I had fun. I supposedly owe this guy a date because we forced him and his friend to kiss. Brokeback sexyback mask! And then there were body shots. And then strip-stream-of-consciousness, which could be the best party game to play when you’re stoned or drunk or both. Especially when you’re surrounded by hotness.

Again: Happy 21st, Summer Fling, I love you! I’m gay for you!

And this got me laughing out loud. Like Jesus fuckin’ Christ HAHAHAHA loud.

Official languages: La Salle Taft Coñospeak, Jungle talk, Tagaylog, Salitang-kalye, Squatter, Tadbaliks, Gay Lingo Chuva Chenes, Haler

Fierce.

Ex-girlfriend article here. Asian chicks article here.

WALKING HURTS.