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PWNED!!!




All right, it’s my birthday month. One of these days (as soon as I’m done screwing and gallivanting around town with them highschool boys— I don’t like them young and stupid, cos I’m young and stupid enough. But you know. Little boys. Cute), I’m gonna post my wishlist. I’m keeping it short this year to prepare myself for disappointment. Really, there’s only one thing I want, and that is A Tan.

Which I squatteringly achieved yesterday— a day which I shall aptly call The Day Helga Got Pwned By The Metro And The Bank And The Universe, In General— by walking the length of St. Ignatius Village to the corner of P. Tuazon in Katipunan Extension at 10 in the morning. I lack sleep and am in no mood to go into details and re-count the whole horrid experience, so I’ll document it, ECTTUS-style (aka APAC-style, hyukhyuk): I not ok. All not ok. But ok!. My mom saved the day and my ass (and my flatmates’ asses. Mammy, I love you! I’d marry you if only you weren’t married to Dada! And you wouldn’t have to deal with a 21-year old freeloader of a daughter!), but not without a string of I-told-you-so’s. All while I was standing under the sun, waiting for the village shuttle, and crying. In a race against time. Dun dun dun dun. People were looking at me funny, so I threw in a “Baby! Wag moko iwan!” line for good measure.

So I’m officially broke and will have to live on rice and soy sauce or rice and Star Margarine or leftovers found in fastfood dumpsters until next next Tuesday if I want to support my Marlboro and Starbucks habits. I’ll be mooching off my mom again until further notice, and there goes my plan of moving back into our condo this Saturday (for good). Turning 22 and in a state of destitution— how did life become this harsh? Is it because I curse too much? Drink too much? Or is it because I’m shallow? Or petty? Or just plain obese? Or is it because I incessantly Twitter and post at TMB while I’m at work? Whyyyyy? Also, if the links are funky, that’s because I’m using a proxy with a bunch of things turned off (like scripts, so my MyBlogLog and Twitter widgets don’t work, puh), for ultra-stealthy surfing.

I hate banks. If I could have it my way, I’d keep all my monies in a can hidden in the back of my closet.

Oh look, it’s almost 4am. I managed to survive the day!



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17 Comments »

Comment by Steel PHILIPPINES
2007-05-04 05:44:22

Here’s what I do when Im nearly-broke — I buy a huge can of corned beef, 250 gm pack of mixed veggies, some eggs, onions, and/or cheese and lumpia wrapper. I think you got the point. You can eat this shit for five days provided that you keep the remainder in the freezer.

For more squatter survival tips, just message me.

Comment by Helga PHILIPPINES
2007-05-04 06:35:47

Steel. I’ve read that same exact block of text over at TMB. I hates you.

 
 
Comment by Steel PHILIPPINES
2007-05-04 07:15:26

Why, no one else has come up with this squaterrific idea but yours truly. Well, I guess history repeats itself, eh?

 
Comment by mara PHILIPPINES
2007-05-04 22:00:03

I’m so glad I still have my parents :(( They pay for my gas right now since my salary has been delayed by the HR.

 
2007-05-05 03:12:08

i don’t eat. i don’t drink. i just blab until my battery runs out. i am a furby.

 
Comment by Shari PHILIPPINES
2007-05-05 10:06:01

Helga the Weber -> pagkain ng masa: pancit canton. But you’re too sosyal for that.

Just get drunk and have wild sex.

Thank goodness for the Weber mother.

Comment by Helga PHILIPPINES
2007-05-06 19:37:03

Shari. College days. Dorm living. I survived on tuna cans, crackers, Soupy Snax, and pancit canton :P

I just had pancit canton this afternoon. It wasn’t as good as it used to be =/

 
 
Comment by John Steven UNITED STATES
2007-05-05 11:10:37

Note to self: check Helga’s closet for monies. ;)

 
Comment by kristine PHILIPPINES
2007-05-05 12:48:42

coffee and yosi! no need to eat! anorexia here we come!

::

i’m broke, too. but i could still afford to have dsl, and hundreds and thousands on cellphone load, and cosmopolitans on night-outs. but besides that, i’m SO broke.

 
Comment by Douglas UNITED STATES
2007-05-06 12:59:23

oh, come on… bing broke is as fun as a barrel of monkeys! monkeys that are non-existent.

 
Comment by baddie PHILIPPINES
2007-05-06 17:49:32

I also hate banks. That’s why I try to use as much monies as I can so I don’t have to go through the trouble of keeping it safe. I am so smart.

Comment by Helga PHILIPPINES
2007-05-06 18:43:27

I have very awesome idea: spend your money on me!

Comment by baddie PHILIPPINES
2007-05-10 17:38:36

Sure! If I have monies left after comics shopping and beer guzzling, I’ll spend some on you. That’s a pretty big IF.

 
 
 
Comment by Dante PHILIPPINES
2007-05-06 23:49:28

I want a tan too! Walking around in the city is about the only option we have, though, barring a quickie getaway to Quezon.

 
Comment by Ade PHILIPPINES
2007-05-08 08:09:09

Guess what? I’m so fucking broke too. Quarterly bonus disappeared like whoa.

 
Comment by jaywalker PHILIPPINES
2007-05-12 18:40:22

I heard that you can get a tan by spending hours in front of your pc. My face is actually more tanned than the rest of my body

 
Comment by xtina PHILIPPINES
2007-05-13 15:26:01

broke but we still party like we’re not from the 3rd world! pooh! =)

 
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