Your friendly neighborhood barbies (Tanduay Rhum Barbie, Euro Whore Barbie, Birdie Barbie, and Popstar Barbie) are throwing a papapapartay this Saturday, though not necessarily in honor of my turning twenty-two. Truth is, I just wanted to make that little banner thinger, and the party was actually supposed to be last Sunday but the cleaning lady came in late.

Let’s get happy with Tanduay, romaine, and Ashlee Simpson! .!!!

Fine. Maybe there will be actual food and there will definitely be some Lindsay Lohan and maybe a little Hilary Duff; but I will not be providing beer. Because I will be tempted to drink it. Because I’m drinking beer again.

A warning, though: the guest washroom’s toilet doesn’t flush.

OMG, I’m 22 tomorrow. And now a meme.

Instructions: Imagine if your life were a movie, what would the soundtrack be? Use your media library (Ipod, Media Player, etc.), put it on shuffle mode, press play for each question and press next for the next questions.

Opening Credits: Never Is A Promise, Fiona Apple

You’ll never touch - these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You’ll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I’ve ever shown - to you

Waking Up: Beautiful, Belle and Sebastian

But everyone she knew thought she was beautiful
Only slightly mental
Beautiful, a bit temperamental
Beautiful, only slightly mental

First Day At School: No Sleep Tonight, The Faders

Girl, you won’t be sleeping
No sleep tonight
Do I have to spell it out in black and white

Falling In Love: Flowers, Cibo Matto

I want certain words more than a thousand flowers

Fight Song: Not Too Late, Norah Jones

I’ve seen people try to change,
And I know it isn’t easy,
But nothin’ worth the time never really is

Breaking Up: Two Beds and a Coffee Machine, Savage Garden

Another ditch in the road
You keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on

Prom: Whenever There Is You, Koop

So, please
Let our life begin now
Say you will stay with me
And be my man

Life’s OK: Beautiful, Late Night Alumni

I don’t have to dream
Reality is beautiful in you

Mental Breakdown: They Are Night Zombies!!! They Are Neighbors!! They Come Back From The Dead, Sufjan Stevens

I-L-L-I-N-O-I-S! Ring the bell and call or write us
I-L-L-I-N-O-I-S! Can you call the Captain Clitus?
B-U-D-A! Caledonia! S-E-C-O-R! Magnolia!
B-I-R-D-S! And Kankakee! Evansville and Parker City

Driving: Just Like Heaven, The Cure

Spinning on that dizzy edge
I kissed her face and kissed her head
And dreamed of all the different ways I had
To make her glow

Flashback: Feelin’ Kinda Sunday, Nancy Sinatra

The bells I hear in me say I should be getting up soon,
Been travelling all morning long, but I’m still here in my room

Getting Back Together: First Orgasm, The Dresden Dolls

I bet I could last at least a week without someone to hold me
Won’t you hold me?

Wedding: Fell In Love With A Boy, Joss Stone

I fell in love once and almost completely
He’s in love with the world and sometimes these feelings can be so misleading

Birth of Child: Chariot, Gavin Degraw

You’ll be my vacation away from this place

Final Battle: L.O.V.E., Ashlee Simpson

Love is an energy, love is a mystery
Love is meant to be true
Love is a part of me, love is the heart of me
Love is the best thing we do

Death Scene: Me And The Minibar, The Dresden Dolls

No such details will spoil my plan
That is the kind of girl I am

Funeral Song: This Place Is A Prison, The Postal Service

I know there’s a big world out there like the one I saw on the screen
In my living room late last night,
It was almost too bright to see
And I know that it’s not a party if it happens every night
Pretending there’s glamour and candelabra
When you’re drinking by candlelight

What does it take to get a drink in this place?