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THAT IS NOT A SEXY TUMMY.




Because my discipline and self-control (which were never really much, to begin with) can be likened to a two-dollar ho (cheap and easy. Okay, so maybe just easy) whenever faced with ice cold beer and mounds of cooked rice, my midsection is now disgustingly out of shape.

“WTF, did I swallow a keg?” pose.

I CAN PINCH AN INCH!

Beer. It’s bad for you.

Years ago, not only did I have a flat tummy, I actually had badass! swimmer abs. Of course, when you’re a 13-year old highschool sophomore surrounded by genetically skinny girls with numchucks for arms and legs, the 3 Ts (thin, tan, and toned?) go unappreciated (if not hated). Okay, so I wasn’t thin then; ‘athletic’ would be the more apt term. But I definitely wasn’t this fat.

I know there’s nothing more unattractive than unloading body drama on other people, so I won’t. But just to say: I do not have body dysmorphic disorder (Jesus, look at how ugly my belly button is! And my cellulite count outnumbers the population of Japan! And look how tight XXL panties are on me!)— on the contrary (and because I’m such a weird), there are certain regulation body defects of mine that I find cute. LIKE MY STRETCH MARKS. I think they add character. This is coming from a person who thought the same of burning cigarette holes into her Miriam College skirt (“Helga, WTF are you doing?!” “Adding character!” “No. You’re drunk.” “Yeah. That, too.”).

Tomorrow, I start working out again (and looking for an effective appetite suppressant).

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41 Responses to “THAT IS NOT A SEXY TUMMY.”

  1. kristine says:

    Tomorrow, I start working out again.

    Aye. But SRSLY, you don’t need it. It’s actually kinda cute that it’s not completely flat.

    [Reply]

      Helga says:

    I want a woman’s bodeh, not a child’s! :P

    [Reply]

  2. Juice says:

    Some guys like pot bellies!! That girl in Pulp Fiction wanted it ;) Haha.

    [Reply]

      Helga says:

    Fabienne! Well, if I had someone looking like Bruce Willis calling me ‘Sugar Pop’ and ‘Lemon Pie’, I’d love my pot belly, too :D

    [Reply]

  3. Jigs says:

    You think that belly’s bad?! That’s nothing!

    And beer is not bad! No its not! No its not! no! no! no!

    [Reply]

  4. Ade says:

    You call THAT a tummy? WTF?

    [Reply]

      Helga says:

    …Beer belly then? :(

    [Reply]

  5. may says:

    no beer for me, i have stretch marks, not appealing at all, especially when your family member’s point them out x.x

    [Reply]

  6. skye says:

    I’m actually happy that you posted this. I’m getting fat too, but mostly because of food (Holy Kettle Korn!) Anyway, as the saying goes: Misery loves company! Nyahaha!

    We have to get rid of the flabs at the side, and our inner thighs! (My bod looks just like yours actually) And damn those panties, we might as well buy XXXXXXXL. Haha!

    [Reply]

  7. niki says:

    it’s not bad helga!

    ^ i say something like this a lot to myself but keep starving myself dieting anyway hahaha =P

    but really, we’re never as fat as we think =)

    [Reply]

  8. Baddie says:

    Beer. It’s bad for you.

    Blasphemer!

    [Reply]

  9. J says:

    Yeah you are totally gross. That must be why you posted 5 photos of yourself for everyone to see. Faggot.

    [Reply]

      Helga says:

    Hey, here’s a suggestion, white trash: instead of wasting your time leaving comments on other people’s blogs, why not get a real job?

    [Reply]

      Steel says:

    Take it from someone who distastefully displays shower photos of herself in her blog.

    [Reply]

  10. tonyrom says:

    Ok, you call that a tummy? I wonder what I should call my midsection. :|

    [Reply]

  11. Jem says:

    But I definitely wasn’t this fat.

    If you really believe that, you’ve got some serious issues.

    [Reply]

  12. Roo says:

    Hey.. that tummy is sexy enough for me Helga! This one wishes her tummy were truly not rolls of fat but -sigh- it’s life.

    [Reply]

  13. Tracy says:

    Umm… ok… ? tsssss

    [Reply]

  14. Jaywalker says:

    …not fat at all

    don’t listen to the haters

    [Reply]

  15. mikey says:

    WTF? What’s wrong with an abdomen like that? If that was in front of me, I
    d hug it, kiss it and lick it right there and then.

    On a side note, that body is much better than the extremely skinny supermodels who die from starvation or OD on cocaine.

    [Reply]

  16. marc says:

    im working out starting tomorrow, too. this weather’s totally screwed my sched.

    [Reply]

  17. TiFF says:

    Those are flat abs.

    [Reply]

  18. benj says:

    Man, you’re going anorexic. From the front, it looks flat to me. Do you want it to go into your ribs? hehehe.

    Take a profile shot, maybe it would look different on sideview, but i really doubt it.

    still looking good, helga.

    [Reply]

  19. Shari says:

    And I was wide-eyed the whole time.

    Fat. *snorts*

    [Reply]

  20. Katy says:

    There’s nothing wrong with your tummy! You’re still super skinny!

    [Reply]

  21. Madeleine says:

    I feel you with the body thing. Some days is fine and other I just want to peel it all off :) I miss your face since bebedawl.. aww, I’m glad I have your site to visit though :) Have a great weekend.. with lot’s of beer :P

    [Reply]

  22. chase says:

    Well you still look sexy with the tummy. ANd gosh my tummy nowadays is quite big . I need to go on a hunger strike!

    [Reply]

      Helga says:

    Im detoxifying this week. Major booze fest over the weekend, ARGH. I look pregnant!

    [Reply]

  23. Fer says:

    wtf your tummy is fine

    i miss you on bebedawl aww :(

    [Reply]

  24. Christina says:

    Ohmygawd! Shuddup! You are a hawt babe! LOL. You look just fine. But seriously, no more beer. j/k

    [Reply]

  25. miminess says:

    we have the same tummy!! i got my flabs after not working out for 2 months. anyway, i was going to read your blog while i was at some net cafe (because i have friggin dial up at our house in davao!!) and i didn’t know you posted half naked pics!!! some boys saw it and i felt a bit embarrassed :P anyway, you still look sexay!

    [Reply]

      Helga says:

    WTF are you doing in Davao!

    [Reply]

      miminess says:

    i just thought of going to davao since i haven’t seen our house there. lol it was something spontaneous :P

    [Reply]

  26. alohapenny says:

    Your tummy is ayt it has the letter V!! I have been trying to achieve that!! Im skinny like anorexic and my tummy is flat but it does not have the V which totally defeats the purpose of it being flat! bah!

    [Reply]

  27. utakGAGO says:

    Obviously, we don’t have the same tummy. Harhar. Mine was waaay bigger.

    No more beer. Just.. Jose Cuervo. Yummehhh!

    [Reply]

  28. Laarni says:

    almost the same as mine when not relaxed (haha!) and i have a different ribcage.

    [Reply]

  29. Beejing says:

    I wonder I still have no tummy though I drink beer almost every week…hahaha! :D

    [Reply]

  30. James Yap says:

    You look fine. You just like to show off. Eh.

    [Reply]

      Helga says:

    I agree with the show off bit.

    [Reply]

  31. ur tummy looks yummy to me :D

    [Reply]

  32. Lalon says:

    I never liked beers.. I mean it’s just too “bitter”.

    [Reply]

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