“You don’t get me, babe. YOUR MOM KNOWS HOW TO GOOGLE YOUR ASS. Your blog is all about alcohol and sex. Lol.”
Comforting words from the mancandy up there, when I frantically texted this morning to tell him that my mom has discovered the wonderful world wide web. Here is a woman who— a few months ago— used to ask me to log in to her gmail account, read out loud e-mails from her sisters, and then act as her secretary as she dictated to me her replies. Here is a woman who— this morning— was having trouble figuring out the AC’s remote control. And now she has a Friendster account! Yes! I set it up for her this morning. And for the record, I did it while she held a gun to my head.
Other comforting reactions by fellow bloggers when I broadcasted my predicament over Twitter:
Ade: Well, imagine how I felt when I found out that five of my aunts read my blog.
Steel: While you’re at it, why not invite your mom on twitter? Or set her up a blog! Lolz blogging whattaghei!
Ade: Dun forget warbook!
I have a feeling my dad’s behind all this. I imagine their conversations during the drive home to be like this:
Just so you guys know, she was curious about Twitter and Facebook, too.
There’s this glimmer of hope that my mom didn’t actually “google” my name. I think she merely Yahoo-ed it: she mentioned that when she searched for my name, the first thing that came up was “Helga, Philippines, Miriam College. How do I open that?”, which definitely sounded like a snippet of my Friendster account.
(She didn’t react well to my Friendster primary photo— me, holding a bottle of Tanduay. Imagine how’d she react if she found my blog. QUE HORROR!)
Anyhoots, I’m hooked on Facebook. Save for today, the first thing I do when I go on-line now is check my Facebook account, check my Warbook kingdom, and then ask people to assrape the asshats who assraped me while I was offline. I am a silly Level 7 Magician (talk about total gaynage; I should’ve chosen to be a Visionary) with a weak army and a puny kingdom. But I shall be a barbarian and a tyrant! One day! 0ne day!
KK, back to Warbook. And if you’re on FB and haven’t added me yet: add me! And send me those cute Eyesores, please.