behind the scenes

Mom and Facebook

“You don’t get me, babe. YOUR MOM KNOWS HOW TO GOOGLE YOUR ASS. Your blog is all about alcohol and sex. Lol.”

Comforting words from the mancandy up there, when I frantically texted this morning to tell him that my mom has discovered the wonderful world wide web. Here is a woman who— a few months ago— used to ask me to log in to her gmail account, read out loud e-mails from her sisters, and then act as her secretary as she dictated to me her replies. Here is a woman who— this morning— was having trouble figuring out the AC’s remote control. And now she has a Friendster account! Yes! I set it up for her this morning. And for the record, I did it while she held a gun to my head.

Other comforting reactions by fellow bloggers when I broadcasted my predicament over Twitter:

Ade: Well, imagine how I felt when I found out that five of my aunts read my blog.
Steel: While you’re at it, why not invite your mom on twitter? Or set her up a blog! Lolz blogging whattaghei!
Ade: Dun forget warbook!

I have a feeling my dad’s behind all this. I imagine their conversations during the drive home to be like this:

Just so you guys know, she was curious about Twitter and Facebook, too.

There’s this glimmer of hope that my mom didn’t actually “google” my name. I think she merely Yahoo-ed it: she mentioned that when she searched for my name, the first thing that came up was “Helga, Philippines, Miriam College. How do I open that?”, which definitely sounded like a snippet of my Friendster account.

(She didn’t react well to my Friendster primary photo— me, holding a bottle of Tanduay. Imagine how’d she react if she found my blog. QUE HORROR!)

Anyhoots, I’m hooked on Facebook. Save for today, the first thing I do when I go on-line now is check my Facebook account, check my Warbook kingdom, and then ask people to assrape the asshats who assraped me while I was offline. I am a silly Level 7 Magician (talk about total gaynage; I should’ve chosen to be a Visionary) with a weak army and a puny kingdom. But I shall be a barbarian and a tyrant! One day! 0ne day!

KK, back to Warbook. And if you’re on FB and haven’t added me yet: add me! And send me those cute Eyesores, please.

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  • Reply Tracy October 4, 2007 at 12:29 am

    Gotta love “parents and the internet” stories

  • Reply Ade October 4, 2007 at 1:30 am

    Now imagine your mom on Warbook. And in Codex Zabulon! Asking you for strategy tips!

    • Reply Helga October 4, 2007 at 2:13 am

      I’d be jealous, cos I don’t think I’m even part of Codex yet :(

  • Reply Christine October 4, 2007 at 4:42 am

    Oh no talk about awkward situation if she found your blog. My mother in law is a friend on my myspace and that alone is just weird to me but what do i do tell her no?! It’s weird when parents get involved with things you don’t want them to see or know about you. I say block your site from her computer just in case and block her ip from your site lol just to make sure she can’t see it.

  • Reply Diane October 4, 2007 at 6:35 am

    Hah, I’m thinking of making my blog private. My ex said something the other day about looking at my website. @_@ And to probably to keep future employers from viewing what I write.

  • Reply beejing October 4, 2007 at 6:37 am

    LOL. Helga Gabriele. LOL. That’s all I can say!

    • Reply Helga October 4, 2007 at 8:35 am

      It’s actually Helga Gabrielle, but my birth cert reads Gabriele. Also, that’s in my About page here, so I don’t get it…?

  • Reply Tashina October 4, 2007 at 11:53 am

    I fear the day when my mom decides to google my name and might find my blog!

  • Reply Pau October 4, 2007 at 11:58 am

    I eagerly await the day when Helga’s mom (Who I call Mrs. Helga in my head) to send us twits saying “This asshat called Fosser demands a sever assraping. Through the nose! Anyone?”

  • Reply alohapenny October 4, 2007 at 12:59 pm

    LOLlerskates, Helgrr, welcome to the club. My sister, who is an asshat, showed my mom my blog so she reads it now and it sucks cus she’s up in my ass all the damn time. And she comments!!! FTW!! Good thing adam showed me how to privatize entries.

  • Reply thegreatest October 4, 2007 at 1:41 pm

    told you to lock this place down…temporarily that is hehehehh.

    I can’t wait to send your mom my twitters!

    • Reply Helga October 5, 2007 at 2:49 am

      An example Twit from you, answering the question “What are you doing?”

      Lying down, on my back, Helgahead.

  • Reply Tracy October 4, 2007 at 3:07 pm

    I had a dream about you last night :D nothing dirrrrty though, unfortunately.

    • Reply Helga October 5, 2007 at 2:50 am

      By ‘nothing dirty’, I’m guessing I was merely dry humping you and not humping-humping you? Works for me!

  • Reply Juice October 4, 2007 at 3:09 pm

    My mom viewed me on Friendster once, and I freaked out. Haha. Good thing she isn’t my friend. If she was, I’d die on the spot.

  • Reply Kenneth October 4, 2007 at 9:10 pm

    Haha, that’s so funny.

    My mom never calls me anymore though, she just e-mails. Convenient eh.

  • Reply ThreePogi.Com October 5, 2007 at 2:11 am

    I’m jealous. How come some girls dreams about you? How come no one ever admits dreaming about me? C’mon now, I don’t mind if it’s dirty.

  • Reply Julia October 5, 2007 at 4:41 am

    Haha, I would die if my mom found my journal. Not that I lead nearly the interesting life that you do, but still – it’s the principle of the thing. I had to make my mom get gmail – her internet world is limited enough that I really don’t worry about it… but now I might :x

  • Reply keysi October 5, 2007 at 11:47 am

    LOL. My mom found her second husband through yahoo personals. she’s not interested in facebook, friendster, or blogs, but she checks email everyday. i think she reads my blog. i asked her once but she denies it by asking, ‘what’s the url again?’

  • Reply chase October 5, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    Hahaha most of my aunts as well read my blog and one from Finland even called me due to the foul language on my blog.

  • Reply Ria Jose October 5, 2007 at 2:14 pm

    Helga, I left LJ coz my stupid sister reads it and shares it contents with my mom and my aunts. They all got crazy over that entry where I describe how I want my funeral to be. LOL!!!

  • Reply J October 5, 2007 at 7:04 pm

    Shouldn’t be that big of deal. You’re an adult, after all.

  • Reply Laarni October 9, 2007 at 9:28 am

    The intranets truly bite back. SCARY.

  • Reply sam October 12, 2007 at 6:14 pm

    my moms on facebook
    but she added apol not me

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