behind the scenes

Normalcy: I Will Have It.

Last Saturday was horrendous: not only did lover drag me to Jaipur, he also forced me to wear a bra. What a cruel, I know. That, however, is not the point. Early into the night, as we were seated at Jack’s, lover asked why I was being “so quiet”. Not wanting to confess that I had been thinking about WarBook and cephalopod footprint fossils and counting bases and eggshells ON A SATURDAY NIGHT OUT WITH HIM, I merely gave him a shrug and said that I was getting impatient waiting for my drink. After more minutes of silence from me, he asked if I could see myself interacting with the other girls who were at the table with us.

I looked at the girls (still thinking about WarBook and cephalopod footprint fossils and counting bases and eggshells), looked at lover, looked down at my hands, and then looked back at lover. I sheepishly shook my head ‘no’.

He laughs, quite condescendingly, then proceeds to tell me that I’ve been corrupted by my flatmates. And that I’m no longer normal.

Now the thing is, I am very aware that my friends and I are one dysfunctional bunch and that we tend to influence each other’s behaviors and personalities more than we care to admit. But I see myself to be the normalest and most reserved among us because unlike them, I still have my inhibitions. Thus, I am actually normal…when compared to them.

This doesn’t really pose as a problem because save for lover, they’re the only people I hang out with anyway. I’ve long given up on trying to make friends out of my co-workers (those people who give me blank stares and surreptitiously shuffle away whenever I say hi to them) and all my college friends seem to be pretty determined not to invite me to their little collegy reunions for fear that I might do something not normal and embarrass them. I mean Christ!— four years have passed since I humiliated Clem at her 18th birthday party by chasing her around barefoot and shrieking “Titi! Titi!”. Get over it and forgive me?

Moving forward, I like to lead myself into thinking that I’ve hit the jackpot with my current friends. Not only are they totally cool and amazingly intelligent people, they also fill the two qualifications I need in friends: one, they have to be borderline alcoholics; two, they have to live in my area. Yup, I’m happy with my pals. But being told by the person you love (and who supposedly loves you) that you’re NOT normal? It kinda makes you stop, think, and re-assess.

So when I woke up on Sunday, it was with great resolve that I shall be normal. Or attempt to be normal. After failing to bug the lover to a state of consciousness (because I was bored on a Sunday morning and needed someone to talk to), I got out of bed, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet, and started making a mental list of steps to take towards normalcy. I named the list “STEPS TO TAKE TOWARDS NORMALCY”.

Twelve seconds later, it hit me that normal people don’t do what I was doing.

Feeling guilty for failing so quickly, I went back to bed and prayed. I figured that that’s what normal people do on Sundays. And then I carried on with my list:


1. I will stop speaking LOLkittynese. There is nothing more not normal than bad grammar and misspelling such basic words like ‘why’ (whai), ‘like’ (liek), ‘there’ (thurr), and ‘liar’ (lier).

2. I will not be pre-occupied by WarBook 95% of the time. Not only is it unhealthy, it’s just so…geeky, and in a bad way. The other day, I impulsively gave lover a hug and instead of telling him how sexy he is, I said: “WARBOOK!!!!”

3. Find a new less-shitty and worth-the-stress-and-exhaustion job.

(Huh, where’d that come from? Look, emergency evacuation!)

4. No more cracking jokes that only cause people to stare at me in horror. I will normalify my sense of humor and never again shall I think that randomly inserting Sheryl Cruz into a conversation is funny.

And that’s my super short list. I know it’s not much, but I’m kinda not sure if having a list with more than four items in it is normal?

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  • Reply ThreePogi.Com - Michael November 6, 2007 at 2:55 am

    But doesn’t it feel good when you wake up in the morning and find out that all the attacks against your kingdom has been repelled? It gives me a sense of accomplishment and the list of the people I should attack first. Anyways I’m a hopping mad today. 6 suckface losers dropped my land from being a 19k city to a small 14k village.

  • Reply Janine November 6, 2007 at 8:27 am

    To be honest, sometimes overly-intellectual and nerdy humor and such does bother me. But you are hot, so I don’t think it should matter.

    I could see myself in that situation, with condescending laughter because I am not like everyone else. Lame feeling.

  • Reply Laarni November 6, 2007 at 9:16 am

    I looked at the girls (still thinking about WarBook and cephalopod footprint fossils and counting bases and eggshells), looked at lover, looked down at my hands, and then looked back at lover. I sheepishly shook my head ‘no’.

    LOL. I can’t believe this.

  • Reply thegreatest November 6, 2007 at 12:50 pm


    You know I was kidding right? YOu’re absolutely loveable AND HOT just the way you are.

    Then of course, that list might as well be your Rustan’s grocery list, seeing as you made it while sitting on the can.

    1. Ma Ling
    2. More Maling
    3. Less Fat Maling
    4. Pancit Canton Fuckit. Maaah Leeng.

    • Reply Helga November 8, 2007 at 5:23 am

      I’m sorry, but when I “sit on the can”, I do crosswords, not grocery lists. -_-

      MAAAAAAAAH LEEEEEEEENG! I miss Ma Ling :cry:

      • Reply Anne November 8, 2007 at 2:02 pm

        I have Ma Ling at home! Come over, I’ll cook you all the Ma Ling that you’d want. :D

        • Reply thegreatest November 8, 2007 at 7:36 pm

          you’re just saying that so you can get her close enough to smooch again.

          Not that I have a problem with that, as long as coco directs and I man the cam.

          • Anne November 8, 2007 at 9:39 pm

            How’d you know that? Haha.

            Well, both of you can come over and I’ll feed you guys Ma Ling. Lots and lots of it.

  • Reply Adam Mordo November 6, 2007 at 4:52 pm

    One thing I’ve always held to be true is that normalcy is boring but at times, a necessary evil. I try to act normal only when I absolutely have to do so. The most interesting people I know are at the least, slightly off kilter.

  • Reply Ade November 6, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    I will stop speaking LOLkittynese.


  • Reply Fredda November 7, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind won’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
    -Dr. Seuss

  • Reply alohapenny November 7, 2007 at 2:35 pm

    A question, have you started on that diet?

  • Reply Juice November 7, 2007 at 4:25 pm

    Cmon Helga. If you’re going towards normalcy then we’re gonna be starting to read normal blog posts from now and that’s not what we’re accustomed to reading.

    Be the way you are! You’re fabulous that way :D

  • Reply keysi November 7, 2007 at 5:58 pm

    ummm why is there a need to be normal again? normal is boring.

  • Reply clem November 9, 2007 at 3:06 pm

    hoy lagi ka kasi absent. kila kitin ata ulit haha. go into writing na nga. pids? focus? (waha) no. there are openings posted in isdevstud.

  • Reply Pau November 28, 2007 at 2:11 pm

    I too hate it when forced to wear a bra going out. I feel for you bro.

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