(Cos it’s really called a SLAM BOOK, you silly men, you. I guess Slumbook is the Filipino version of the word? But anyways.)

Name: Helga “The” Weber
Nickname/s: The, LOLkitty, Helgrrr
Hometown: Some Shitty Building, Loyola Heights
Birthday: May 31, 1985
Zodiac Sign: Gay Man in a G-string Reprazent
Motto: No ID, no entry.

Describe yourself.
My name is Helga, but you can call me Fe. SAF, 22, looking for Mr Right Man who will take me seriously as his partner. Preferrably from the States or maybe Turkey, but Philippines is okay, too. I am sweet, sincere, sexy, no kids and very much available. I’m your typical Filipina— mahinhin (not malandi! Never!!!), God-fearing, I believe in ligaw, kind, caring, honest, loyal, faithful, and hard-working. Yet I am vibrant and fun and independent! Never a dull moment with me!

I enjoy long walks around Luneta Park, smelling flowers, bicycle rides around QC circle at night, eating fishballs and isaw at UP on Sundays, and watching TV. My hobbies include texting, cooking, collecting stickers, and writing to my pen pals at least once or twice a week.

I am seeking a loving and caring and stable and responsible man who has a great sense of humor and is not afraid to show his true feelings. Age range is 40-45.

Are you ready? I’d love to be with you, always and forever. Beauty fades, but character remains. Godbless.

Who was your first love?
God.

…Okay, so that’s not true. His name was Gene Paolo Dimalanta and we were fifth-grade classmates. He was the smartest kid in class and I guess that’s what spawned the silly schoolgirl crush. Twelve years later, I still find myself gravitating towards men who make me feel intellectually inadequate.

Define love.
Love is never having to say you’re sorry. Also, the only man who is worthy to make a woman cry is that man who will never make you cry. Text me! 09162325748!

HUH?

What is your ambition?
To be president and make Taylor Hanson my first lady.

What do you hope to achieve out of this?
I don’t know what this refers to, but to answer: a street in Cubao named after me.

Dedication.
Thanks, fren!! Take care cuz I don’t care, fren!!~