Let it be known to the world that I, Helga “The” Weber, a Filipino citizen of legal age residing in Loyola Heights, Quezon City, am probably having what could easily be tagged as The Worst Days of My Life.
You bet I wish I were exaggerating.
Now the last thing I want to happen is to immortalize the past few shitty days in the form of a blog entry that will magically have, well, the magical capabilities of Never Being Deleted. So I won’t write about it. Yes, I’m that traumatized. Instead, what I’ll do is go on a hunger strike!
NO! MORE! EATING!
(I KNOW I’M SWEATY. GO AWAY)
This works perfectly, in pursuit of my lifelong ambition of becoming a trophy wife. I mean, I can’t sit on my ass all day, stuffing my face with insane amounts of convenience store breaded chicken strips while smoking pack after pack of Marlboro Reds and expect that some rich, good-looking, condominium building-owning old man would sweep me off my feet and bribe me (with all the KFC bucket meals I can eat, WarBook goldses, and tabloid articles about me three times a week) into a loveless marriage, can I? I mean, have you ever heard of a fat trophy wife? Can you even fathom the idea of one???
So my point is this: Hunger strike. Tic-Tacs and vodka diet. Dulcolax. Until I start feeling better or lose 10 pounds.
Today, I bleat at the world: MEH.
Hi, my name's Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 23. My first socio-political scandal will happen at the age of 35 and will include men, sushi, an African country, and lots of money. My lover is the greatest. 
Your shirt looks wet too. If it werent for the hair being dry, i’d think that you just came from the pool or someone threw a pail of water at you. ;) NOOOO to diet! Think of the chickins, they be saded if you dont eated them anymore. (ok even in LOLkittynese my grammer sucks, shut up)
o.O
Dieting = bad.
Maybe go to gym instead if you’re really worried about being overweight!
I hasz a ditez too but I broked it.
It’s already Decembah, remambah?
You and your stupid hunger-strikes. Yer so skinny anyways!
But if it makes you happy… does it? xx
You don’t need a diet! (that was for helgrr, Ade, not you)
Whatta sexy sweaty neck. I’m pretty sure threepogi would like to touch it.
“I mean, have you ever heard of a fat trophy wife? Can you even fathom the idea of one???”
Hm..yeah, I guess. Even Jabba wanted Princess Leia in a cool metal bikini. =p
Yer not fat! If you’re fat then I’m morbidly obese. Ha!
And if you’re fat and he’s morbidly obese, then that would make me…Jabba the Hutt.
Also, if you must go on a starvation diet, skip the tic-tacs. Go for fruits. It saves you from having to take Dulcolax too.
HUNGER STRIKE?! HOW COULD YOU! lol =P
Do you hiphopsabsiiing already?
lol, “So my point is this: Hunger strike. Tic-Tacs and vodka diet. Dulcolax. Until I start feeling better or lose 10 pounds.” Breakfast of champions! yumm
Hello it’s very interesting :)
casinos en lìneaslots machines…
legacy slightly appearers?animately:…