FRIDAY FIVE vii: VALENTINE DATE-SASTERS.

February 8, 2008 at 3:24 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, lists, the helga manual

Valentine’s Day is nearing and for some reason, I feel slightly compelled to write an entry relating to the occasion. I’m not about to bitch about my lacking a physical Valentine this year (much like last year) because despite the fact that I’m often single (though involved…a situation that sucks more than being just plain single) whenever February 14 comes around, I’m still a big fan of the day. Which I spend celebrating my love for friends. All together now: Sige, maglokohan tayo, Helga.

Given that, I am severely lacking experience when it comes to Valentine’s Day dates. But I’ve had my fair share, and so because blogging about how sad I am gets old fast (and quite honestly, I don’t want to wallow; coping and getting back to happy mode comes to me almost automatically, much like the way I move cards around in a game of Free Cell: I just click click click and before I know it, Mr King’s telling me I just won. Again. Fuck, what was I saying. I don’t want to wallow. There), I give you my five worst Valentine’s Day dates EVER (#5 being the lesser nightmare, #1 being an example of why drunk girls should never make very drunken and bad and stupid decisions to go out with dudes who ask them out two days before Valentine’s Day. YEAH, WE ALL KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING).

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4 -

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2 -

You think I’m stupid (and most likely drunk as I am typing this), but I’m trying to prove a point here. Also, I’m saving you time.

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BUT MAYBE I NEEDED IT.

February 4, 2008 at 2:09 pm | Filed under breaking up the girl

I told you not to look, and you looked.

I told you not to fucking look, and you fucking looked.

…

Just like that, I made everything worse.

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