I have come to the conclusion that when I was in my late teens, I was a complete asshole. It’s a wonder I had any real friends throughout my college years (and I know that they’re real cos these are people I am still friends with) so I’m guessing that these friends must’ve either been complete assholes, too, or people with low self-esteem who didn’t mind being friends with an asshole so long as they have someone to call a friend. The former were probably people I’d refer to as My Bitches, something I wouldn’t put past 17-year old me. The latter, folks I’d call My Little Lapdogs. To their faces. Because that’s how I roll.
Look at this— snippets from my personal site’s profile page from five years ago:
I am a very boring person. It’s always the same with me: coffee, cereal drinks, alcohol, cigarettes, books, clubs, bars, school and the occasional boytoy. Yep. That’s basically my life’s story. Nothing new ever happens to me. Which is good. I’m so vulnerable I don’t think I could handle change.
I’m so vulnerable I don’t think I could handle change.??????? I just gave myself goosebumps of horror and disgust. That is, like, the most un-Helga-like declaration ever and I would like to justify that with the fact that when I was 17, I was hanging out at my neighborhood Starbucks, reading Jean-Paul Sartre, doodling on my arms with my neon pink Stabilo Bos because it seemed so indie and so cool, and having meaningful and important and college-y conversations with people who juggled existential crises on a daily basis.
I like starting my sentences with “I” or “My”. I am God. I am worshipped. I have more brain activity than you do. My my my, what do have here, an idiot! Of course, I have days when my narcissism takes a backseat and I actually begin my sentences with “You”. You moron. You dumbass, you. You little shit.
What an extremely embarrassing paragraph and I just had to put that out there to give all of you the go signal to poke fun at me for being such a conceited, self-absorbed fuckwit. Your tittering and jeering shall be my repentance for being so…lulzy. It would’ve been forgivable if I was trying to be funny, but I think I was dead serious and completely delusional back then.
Quick, I need validation that I am no longer that person.
Chronic pimple poppers (like me) should find this interesting: acne scar treatments.
Hi, I'm Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 25 and in the process of learning how to make adventurous life choices. I dislike old people but I love grandma clothes. My goal in life is to build a ball pit right next to my bed. Currently searching for the perfect house coat. My lover is the greatest. 
Um…
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Did that help? :-P
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Srsly, you wrote that?
Well, at least you were writing stuff that made sense back when you were 17. What I wrote back when I was 17 was incomprehensible.
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October 29th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Have to agree on this one.
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October 30th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Agree with this one too. I never did write in a blog at 17 and my writing didn’t make sense.
Awww, those teenage years.
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October 30th, 2008 at 7:22 pm
Same here. I’m 17 and I write shit. Haha!
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jeezus what were you, a promil kid or something? when i was that age i could barely read, let alone write.
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At least you could write well enough.
But still… LOL.
Teenage years. Good fun to look back on. ;)
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LOLS!
Nah, you’re not that person now. You were actually nice to me when we first met in person. Or were you just being “plastik”?? LOL.
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October 29th, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Me Helga. Me nice person. To people I like :D
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LOLz you are soooo not that person anymore!
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LOL that sounds like the teenage goth and “alternative” kids from my high school who wore flames on their shirts and carried chain wallets.
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October 30th, 2008 at 2:24 am
LOL OMG I HAD THIS RUBBER BRACELET WITH PINK RUBBER SPIKES, MY THEN BOYFRIEND (WHO WAS A TOTAL DEADBEAT DRESSED IN ALL BLACK LISTENING TO GLASSJAW AND TBS AND ALL THESE WHINY BANDS *shudder*) CALLED IT MY ~THRASHER~ (ew) BRACELET. My gay highschool best friend called me ~kikay~ (girly) punk, nevermind that the most ~punk~ I ever got was thinking Sid Vicious was hot.
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yeah I wonder the same thing but when I see stupid high school kids when Im working, I think “omg was I like these idiots, I hope not!”
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Teenagers are douchebags, it’s just an unfortunate fact.
Of course, I was an exception to this rule……
Nah, I was a douchebag as well.
Anyway, having shit like that recorded is useful for seeing how far you have moved on (useful, because sometimes it feels as if you aren’t).
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although i’ve never met you, i’ve been reading your blog for a bit and i don’t think you’re the person you were when you were 17….i think everyone was a self absorbed ass as a teenager, i know i was…;)
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At least you write better than most people (combined!) when they were 17.
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We all had our moments! lol
I was a mean kid as well. Don’t feel bad. =]
Hey, I call my guy friends “My Bitches” hahahaha
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Never experienced “the teens.” I’m still basically ten years old. With that said, many older men don’t think I deserve my penis size.
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Oh geez… I missed reading your blog Helga.
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While I don’t know you personally, I only get to read stuff in your blog and… well, plurk. LOL I can really, seriously see that from what you wrote back there to what I see now, there is a big, big difference. :D
Heck, when I was a teenager I used to go around in an all-black outfit wearing rings in 4 fingers. -_-
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