Archive for January, 2009
January 27, 2009 at 11:55 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, the helga manual
1. Never put on shoes standing up when you’re in a hurry. Especially when you’re a bit of a clumsy bird like me.
2. Never pick a fight with your boyfriend at 5 in the morning. You’ll have to go back to sleep in a sour mood and then you’d accidentally bang the back of your head on a wall and all the emo-schmemo tears you’ve been fighting back will come a-flowing and you’ll wake up three hours later (because you spent an hour fighting and bawling into your pillow) with a splitting headache and frog eyes.
3. Think twice before putting out your cigarette in that beer can. Especially when you’ve just opened it.
4. Eight in the evening is actually a better time to take the north-bound MRT, compared to 930pm. Less people, for some odd reason.
5. This sleazebag goes to work a little past the time I leave work and head home. I ran into him again tonight and for a split-second, I forgot who he was and mistook him for someone else (a friend’s younger brother). I almost said hi, but I caught myself. Yes, he saw me, too.
6. Taking self-portraits of yourself upside down is tough business, especially when you don’t have enough space. It is also not my best angle.
7. Silk ties are pretty little things.
8. It seems that I’ve mellowed down A LOT these days. Or maybe I’m just really good at keeping my anger to myself. I sometimes smile in amusement during my morning commute to work because I carry these hostile conversations in my head. It’s better, I say, than whacking that asshat blocking my way with my umbrella (something I used to do, but with great subtlety).
9. Bayani Fernando and his Metro Gwapo project is making me hate the color pink.
January 25, 2009 at 9:33 pm | Filed under ditz drivel
A confession: some years ago, I was obsessed with my horoscope. But then I found true love and a better job and I realized I cared about what the stars had to say as much as I cared about horse supplies. True story.
But sometimes, you just run out of things to write about and so you are left with no choice but to turn to astrology for blog fodder. Yay.
And so, my 2009 forecast:
Love:
You’ll be learning intimacy on a much deeper level, as it’s just not the same ole same ole for you anymore. You’ll be dealing with jealousy and reevaluating your wilder side. Sure, having trivial relationships has given you something to talk about, but it’s like empty calories and this year you’ll be working your inner being to want something more substantial. However, don’t expect this lesson will come from where you think, as there’ll be many surprises that spring up out of nowhere taking you down paths you never expected. Gone will be your class clown ways to divert getting close to another or as your method to attract others; there will be better opportunities to meet guys that challenge you in all areas and force you to ante up on the more intense parts of who you are. Yes, you’ll realize imagining it isn’t the only way to be in a decent relationship.
Looks like my December is pretty happenin’
January 14, 2009 at 3:34 pm | Filed under ditz drivel
After days of frenzied salivation, I finally got my greedy little taste buds on the much vaunted Wendy’s Baconator. To the uninitiated and clueless, this is a Baconator:
A thing of beauty (the heart attack, cholesterol-y kind) this Burger Made for the Gods (or late-teen–to–young-adult, males, according to the Wiki article). Of course, PR pictures are always a far cry from the actual product— everyone knows that (I’d be a moron to expect a neatly stacked, non-greasy sandwich, really). This is what a Baconator looks like, IRL (after several chomps):
Careful. It can sense fear. And probably disgust.
What is in that?!, you must be thinking. No shred of lettuce or a pickle slice, for sure, this baby is devoid of greens (the way real men prefer their burgers!). According to the Wendy’s website, a Baconator is made of six strips of hickory smoked bacon piled high atop two 1/4 lb. patties of fresh (never frozen!) beef complete with two slices of American cheese, mayo, and ketchup. And grease. Lots and lots of grease. As Lauren quipped last night: at least we all know that the Baconator is not a First Date Meal (or something like that).
Some friends and I had a Baconator Meet-Up yesterday (aka we made an event out of it lol) and among the four of us, I was the first to obliterate my burger. As I gingerly folded the greasy, nasty foil that the Baconator came wrapped in, I started feeling my body go warm, as if it was begging me to get on my feet and walk around in circles to burn the calories I had just consumed. My mouth was also a bit sore, as if it had just been raped. My heart and chest felt fine, though, and I have never been so glad to be too young for heart attacks.
Total damage done to my hips, thighs, arms, belly, and ass: 830 calories, 460 calories from fat. 51 grams of fat, 22 grams saturated fat, 2.5 grams trans fat, 170 mg cholesterol, 1920 mg sodium, 35 grams carbs, 1 gram fiber, 8 grams sugar, 57 grams protein.
Although far from a gastronomical delight, I wouldn’t mind having another Baconator in this lifetime. Maybe once every two months, preferably when feeling suicidal.
Check here for Discount Blinds.
January 6, 2009 at 8:13 pm | Filed under lists, the helga manual
I know I should probably write about the year that was, if only to make things proper and not rock the status quo (aka, to be like everybody else) but I’m lazy (and really sleepy, considering I woke up at 620am today and I didn’t exactly go to bed last night early nor sober) and hungry (despite having a rice meal some 7 hours ago. Also, I am craving for Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, something that I can’t get at the convenience stores in my area). Now before I start writing any more really long sentences peppered with parentheses, here are my goals for Twenty-Oh-Nine (and no, I say two-thousand-nine, not twenty-oh-nine) (LAUGHING IS NOT ALLOWED):
1) Upload at least 4000 pictures to my Flickr account and perhaps get at least 50,000 views. Current stats: 1,170 items / 36,181 views. Bah. And I’ve had my Flickr since 2004 (back when the monthly upload limit was 10MB!).
2) Stealing this from Luis: no more than three alcoholic drinks a night. Absolutely no rolling over of unconsumed drinks to the weekend. I think.
3) Will not skip work will not skip work will not skip work unless I really really have to.
4) Read more books. Actually read the books I buy.
5) Go on more planned or unplanned trips with friends! There’s a long weekend coming up next month, who’s up for something!
6) Learn a new, geeky skill. I announced on Plurk some time last year that 2009 will be the year I learn Python but since I deleted that Plurk account and because I am deathly afraid of snakes (I am the queen of lame excuses), I need other options. Maybe I should just suck it up and give Flash one more shot. Maybe.
7) Have at least 400 blog entries for ditz-rev.
8) Stay offline for a whole weekend (and not go crazy while at it).
9) Compose a rap song.
10) Have a really fantastic 24th birthday.
11) Complete my Project365.
Gosh, what a very uninteresting list, as interesting as getting an auto insurance quote.
January 3, 2009 at 3:58 am | Filed under camwhorage, ditz drivel
I haven’t really been in the mood to blog lately and this is most likely caused by my being on vacation and not wanting to spend the entire day in front of my laptop…not like I’ve been spending my days doing exciting things, anyway. Several proper entries have been drafted, though, and should be published hopefully some time next week. Yeah, I bet you guys can’t wait lolz.
So. It’s 2009. I started Project365! My second attempt at it, and so far, I’m doing good. After all, I’m only on Day 2, heh. Today’s picture:
In the market for digital cameras? Kbai.
Hi, my name's Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 24. My first socio-political scandal will happen at the age of 35 and will include men, sushi, an African country, and lots of money. My lover is the greatest. 
