There are boring days and there are days like today. I don’t think I’ve ever spent a single Valentine’s Day with a significant other (dates don’t count and even if they do, I think I’ve only ever had a VDay date twice in my life) so there’s really nothing for me to be sore about. And when you think about it, I have absolutely nothing to moan about in the love department: I’m in a wonderful (though far from perfect) relationship with a wonderful man (who treats me like royalty, according to a mutual friend). On good days, the distance between us isn’t so heartbreaking. On bad days, I am clingy, needy, and helpless in front of my laptop.

Today is a little bit of both and it’s no surprise that I’m feeling a little blue.

Or perhaps it’s just because I’m hungover. I really should learn how to control my Friday night alcohol intake but in the company of nutty friends, I tend to let go. I must have had ten beers last night on an almost empty stomach but I still had my wits with me when I cabbed it home at 4 in the morning. It’s hard to get drunk drunk when you’re always on your feet. The aftermath is always horrible, though, and I woke up with a beer gut that would put a college fratman to shame. I don’t regret the beer, I regret the meal I wolfed down before I went to bed. And the two meals I once again had, immediately after waking up. All I can do is sigh and make a half-empty promise to myself not to do it again. Right.

I haven’t been writing lately and it hurts me a little, I feel like my mind has been squeezed dry by the internet (of all things!). I hung out with an old friend from college the other night, Phil, who is one of the best and most versatile writers I know. I find it amazing how he never runs out of words and I actually asked him that “How come you never run out of words?” I had too-quickly drank two bottles of beer by then and his answer’s a bit fuzzy but I do remember him saying that writing is a challenge for (I’m sorry but this is so apropos: the universe seems to be in sync with me this afternoon; right after I typed that last sentence, Mikah sent me this link) him…something like that. I don’t do interesting conversations justice.

The lover says I am good at writing, that I inspire him but that I just don’t apply myself. I guess it’s because I get sidetracked too easily and this is one of my biggest flaws. There’s just too many interesting and trivial things grabbing for my attention and if the world would only stop being so fascinating to give me enough time to collect my thoughts. But that’s not how it works.

Lover: it’s like a huge part of what made me fall in love with you.
Lover: i love the written word, and you are a walking written word.

Yep, this is the hangover doing the writing. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone, I’m off to look at computer desks before getting ready for tonight (which shall be spent in an office studio somewhere along Katipunan Avenue, playing with cameras and lights). I leave you with a quotation quite fitting for today:

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
-Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

You got it, boyfriend.