I just got this SMS:

Hello! Greetings!!!:-)

My name is [redacted], Marketing Officer for [redacted] ([redacted]).

I would just like to take this bold opportunity to announce this WONDERFUL NEWS about a RARE PROMO OFFER for a FULLY-FUNCTIONAL website development service that we would like to provide you for your competitive business need to GAIN A STRONG POSITION in the industry, as well as to REALIZE/MATERIALIZE today’s untapped potential markets. For ONLY PhP 30,000, our Web Development Team shall ensure your PROMINENCE and UNMATCHED OUTPUT CALIBER, which features WEBMAIL functions, ONLINE BOOKING, WEB SECURITY features, and a DYNAMIC MEDIA GALLERY for your photos/videos. Also, we’ve already thrown in the offer a robust CONTENT MANAGEMENT SYSTEM (CMS) and POST-PHASE REVISIONARY WORK, which deals with the completed website’s services for TROUBLESHOOTING, MONITORING, and MINOR UPDATES/BASIC REVISIONS that are available for one (1) month, FREE!!!

This offer has been sent to all enterprises close to our network, and is available for a VERY LIMITED TIME ONLY!

If you’re interested in availing this rare offer, please call/text [redacted] at [redacted] or their landline: [redacted].

Lastly, should you wish to first view the caliber of our past works, you are very much welcome to visit our official [redacted] website: [redacted].

E-mail inquiries are also entertained. Kindly send them to: [redacted].

Thank you and have a blessed day!:-)

I kid you not. ALL THAT (bullshit) via text message. Reading about a Logo usb drive is even more exciting that reading that drivel.

Now this guy (aka Mr Marketing Officer) has sent me a handful of long-winded bullshit messages in the past, the kind that makes you want to punch someone in the face out of annoyance. You would think that my lack of replies to said messages (even after he texted something about him still being hopeful because I didn’t say no to his invitation for me to hang out at his condo’s pool side and talk about this business idea of his— which, by the way, sounded all very boring and Team Manila-ish— even though I actually did say no when I told him I was uncomfortable with the idea of hanging out with someone I barely know) would send a signal NEVER TO TEXT ME AGAIN. Dense is dense, I guess.

Dear Company X,
Fire your marketing officer.
XOXO, Helga