I was fortunate enough to have been born with teeth that didn’t need any correcting or braces. Unfortunately, I picked up the gross habit of smoking when I was a teenager. Add to that my being a coffee drinker for close to ten years now and you’ve got— rather, I’ve got disastrous teeth.

My teeth have never been super white but they sure have gotten yellower over the years. Prophylaxis doesn’t really lighten the color and I usually just have the coffee and nicotine stains behind my teeth removed. I thought about having my teeth bleached but it’s a spendy process and I’m paranoid that it might weaken the enamel.

Now because I am a stupidhead, I am (mentally) incapable of quitting smoking just yet. In an effort to help the yellowing, I brush my teeth with baking soda mixed in with my toothpaste. I read that gargling with hydrogen peroxide works, too; I tried and got freaked out because I might accidentally swallow the solution. Sadly, the toothpaste+baking soda mix didn’t really do much.

Someone once asked me why I don’t smile in my photos. I do smile, ok. Just like this:

Or like this (hrhrhrhr, I was going for a Japanese p to the orn face except I got the angle wrong):

And this:

Because if I smile and show my teeth, I look like this:

Check. That. Out. Those two really yellow teeth? Christin’ Christ, so embarrassing. Even the boyfriend told me to watch out not to show them in photos!

A little over a week ago, I started using the Crest Whitestrips the boyfriend sent me. I’m supposed to put the strips on for half an hour twice a day but I either get lazy or forget (bad, I know) so most days, I only have them on once. And dear lawd, do these strips work!

ILY, Crest.

Lay off my gums, I’m gonna work on them next haha.

I look weird and you can see my gap tooth!

I can smile! I can smile!

With flash:

(No Photoshopping done except to remove a few pimples here and there. Rawr, I need to read up on best acne treatments.)

I’m so happy with the results!

A few things about Crest Whitestrips: the gel kinda numbs the tongue so you really really need to gargle after taking them off. It’s easier to put one strip on a time than putting both the upper and lower strips on. I drink water but very very carefully (there’s a Whitestrip variation called the Advance Seal with better adhesion). It doesn’t make my teeth sensitive.

I hope to go Pro after the Classic (psst, boyfriend).