the internets

How Did You Get Here?

I don’t often check my Google Analytics’s keywords data (aka the stuff you googled to find me/the stuff you googled to intentionally or unintentionally land here) because it makes me slightly uncomfortable. My site’s top five keywords have always been the following: helga weber, ditz revolution, blog ditz,, and (uh, good luck with that, guys). The majority of the other keywords are on stuff also related to me. There’s no surprise there, really, but it just kinda creeps me out. People are nosy and they leave me wondering why the heck they want to know all these specific things about me.

A few examples:

  • helga scent
  • helga weber hair dye
  • anawangin cove helga weber
  • helga weber copycat (and copying helga weber)
  • does helga weber have a macbook
  • helga weber boyfriend
  • helga weber half sister
  • helga weber livejournal
  • helga weber loafers
  • helga weber starbucks highlighter
  • casting benetton helga weber (if this is about the It’s My Time Contest— I didn’t join)

And then there’s a bunch whole lot of perverted keywords, some of which make me giggle. There are the funny ones, of course. Here are a few:

  • beautiful filipina women with ugly boyfriends pictures
  • filipina matrona online site
  • how to use crest whitestrips if my tooth is dead (aww, this makes me sad)
  • how to whiten your skin through condense milk & calamansi (wouldn’t you rather nom on the condensed milk and not waste it?!)
  • mean ass filipina
  • matrona filipina
  • push help squeeze through “butt got stuck”
  • eczema treatment (lolz)
  • trannies call center
  • westside hand sign pictures
  • to hail a cab

And to answer a few questions:

is there any public transport going to emerald ave?
Yes. is a very helpful site for the Filipino who takes public transportation.

is crest whitestrip available at mercury drug store or watson?
Try those PX goods stores,, or Multiply shops.

why are philippinas so cheap and slutty?
Because you’re ugly, white, and have money =(

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  • Reply tin March 19, 2010 at 11:45 pm

    The last answer was hilarious. Oh how I love helga.

  • Reply Victor Stillwater March 20, 2010 at 7:38 am

    I don’t think I count through those search stats, since I have you on my Livejournal RSS Feed. :)

  • Reply Erika March 22, 2010 at 5:53 am

    Knew you from a Twitter friend. I got to your profile and arrived at this site. :)

  • Reply Erika March 22, 2010 at 5:57 am

    Saw you’re a web designer and it got my interest. Cuz it’s my hobby too.

  • Reply JJ March 28, 2010 at 4:50 am

    Someone actually sent you the last question? WTH man…where was that idiot from?

  • Reply JJ March 28, 2010 at 5:07 am

    oh..btw, i actually found you via flickr. my screen name is Raw*Passion and two of your photos are in my favs. can’t remember how i came across your blog tho, just remember it was by accident. inspiring stuff, i wish more women were as introspective as you.

  • Reply Vanessa April 2, 2010 at 5:19 am


  • Reply Holly April 8, 2010 at 6:32 pm

    Haha those are awesome! I always think my search terms are funny – but then I see other peoples!

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