Anawangin Cove, Nagsasa Cove, Capones Island In Way Too Many (Useless) Photos

April 27, 2010 at 8:06 pm | Filed under photos, vacations

So I just got back from Zambales for the second time this month, this time to go camping in Anawangin Saturday night, to do the opposite of camping at Capones Vista Resort Sunday afternoon, and to check out Nagsasa Cove and Capones Island Monday (before heading back to the city in the afternoon).

I do conclude that twice in my life is enough for Anawangin. I am never going back there to spend the night, at least not during the summer months. It’s real pretty there, though.

Anawangin from afar. I am so smart, I only brought my 50mm lens.

This is Aa. She’s the reason why we went away for the weekend. It’s her birthday today. She said she reads my blog. Happy birthday, Aa!

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This Is A Crosspost From My Tumblr

April 27, 2010 at 3:45 pm | Filed under photos

Because that is how I roll.

LOL THIS IS HOW DARK I AM and I’m uglier now than when this photo was taken (this morning) because in some form of sorcery, my tan eats my makeup. My nose is starting to peel, too. I’ve got some joint pain, too, must be from lugging around my heavy bags.

I don’t tan nicely, I get DARK and DIRTY like a BOATMAN and not rosy and golden. I’d rather deal with a couple of weeks of being ugly than miss out on doing fun shit under the sun, though.

My co-worker didn’t recognize me at work today.

~*~LeT mY iNnAr bEaUtY sHiNe tHrOuGh~*~

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I Would Like To Work Out Tonight, But I’m A Little Hungover

April 22, 2010 at 5:57 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, photos, the helga manual

I have a new resolution and I am quite excited to start: I am going to eat fruit everyday.

In my imagination, I am at least 5 foot 4 (with heels, of course) and a perpetual hundred and ten pounds (even after the holidays!). I have pink and white roller skates and a bicycle with a bell and I happily roll around my neighborhood every afternoon, while or a little before the sun sets. I have enough hours in the day for work, for reading, for people, and for rolling.

In my imagination, the boyfriend and I live with a cat. Every charmed life needs a cat. This cat is as big as a month-old human baby and his name is Horatio but everyone calls him Baby.

In my imagination, I prefer tea over coffee and have a proper tea set like every proper lady should. I have an oven and every hungover Sunday afternoon is spent baking. I know how to make a mean cheesecake. In my imagination.

But I can’t be/do/have those few simple things, not right now, so I resolve to eat fruit everyday.

I also bought a corset.

I need a colon cleanse, badly.

This is my friend, Tin.

We are neighbors, but not the kind of I’m going to your place to watch TV and hang out and drink soda on a sweltering summer afternoon neighbors. Her dad is a kagawad. Until today, he was under the impression that Tin and I were a couple.

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If I Were An Owl, I Wouldn’t Have These Problems

April 21, 2010 at 6:02 pm | Filed under bitchin' a ride

BAD HAIR DAYS. My resolve to grow my hair/not get a haircut the first half of this year is wearing thin. I’m just hoping that it’s PMS (even my face is bloated, for chrissakes) that’s making my hair look all wrong all the time. The heat, the sweating, the humidity, my ointment (see next item)— AUGH! These mornings, I just want to pull my hair out.

TINEA FLAVA aka tinea versicolor aka sun fungus aka an-an. I have it. It’s very embarrassing and until it’s been cured (I have a smattering of spots on my left shoulder, my nape, my back, and a few on my chest area), I have to cover up IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER. Ridiculous, considering this is caused by the summer heat.

It’s a common, harmless skin infection caused by a yeast called Malassezia furfur, but is neither contagious nor due to poor hygiene. Nearly everyone has naturally occurring malassezia on their skin, but when it changes from the dormant yeast form to the more active mycelial form, then spots can appear. Source.

This mild infection is caused by a slow-growing yeast called Malassezia furfur or Pityrosporum orbiculare. This yeast normally grows on the skin without causing any problem. However, in warm and humid environment, it grows in abundance to cause an infection. Source.

The boyfriend was all “how do we fix yooooou!!!” when I told him about my skin, erm, condition. I’ve been dealing with an-an ever since I was old enough to care so it’s not the end of the world for me. My recent beach trip actually worsened my, erm, condition and guess what! I’m going back to the beach this weekend! Tanning worsens tinea flava =/

FAT FAT FAT. I need weight loss supplements, plz. I can’t seem to keep the weight off! I would like to work out but the heat (and yes, even nights here get unbearably warm) makes me lazy and wears me out and makes me want to sleep and makes me want to give a handful of excuses why I can’t work out.

Folks, the time is 6pm and it’s 33 degrees (Celsius) outside.

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Helga’s Hell Years, 0.

April 16, 2010 at 10:27 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, photos

I didn’t like my high school.

Like, if I got wind of the news (because I kind of don’t really care enough to actively keep myself updated when it comes to my high school) that the university had decided to shut the place down, I’d be all “LOL, that’s awesome.”

Some time ago, a fellow blogger told me I should write about my horrible high school experiences (I remember a handful; selective amnesia FTW). I never got around to doing it because those years pretty much sucked BIG TIME for me and why blog about that kind of stuff when I could write about my current awesomeness and weight loss products, amirite? My life would make a pretty okay coming-of-age film, really (B-movie kind of thing with an Asian adult actress with tiny breasts playing me). Anyway, I’m thinking a series of entries about my years at SMALL TOWN HIGH would be interesting. Or would at least make you feel sorry for me? Or hate me more.

Whatever, just don’t psychoanalyze me, please. Mr Boyfriend was a Psych major and that dude can tell me stuff I didn’t know about myself.

A few things y’all need to know first:

• I was ugly.
• I was a big Hanson nerd.
• I was a competitive swimmer.
• I wasn’t popular.
• I wasn’t friendly.
• I wasn’t well-liked.
• I didn’t like going to class.
• I liked them boyz.
• Them boyz didn’t like me back.
• I changed best friends like I changed my school shoes.
• I liked to drink and smoke.
• I yelled a lot.
• I was always looking for approval. From mah peerz.
• When my Formspring still allowed anonymous comments, some shining winners from my high school constantly left me hate messages saying that I’ll always be the plastic, cock-sucking whore that I was back then or something like that. Awesome. Nevermind that I never got paid for sex nor did I suck cock then. And I can’t even begin to comprehend how I was the plastic one when I was always backstabbed by them pretty girlz.
• OMG OMG, my favorite high school memory: people writing crap about me on arm chairs and bathroom stalls!

Lord, I wanna give High School Helga a huge hug. Thank goodness for college (and having the best time of my life) and growth and moving to the city and kittens and blogs and love and trees and vodka. And good genes. Now before any of you start sniggering at me and thinking “LOL HELGA WATTA LEWZER”, let me remind you of my kewtness:

(I have to tell you that my boyfriend has big guns, too.)

So.

I didn’t like my high school and my high school didn’t like me. No love lost, I’m still awesome. Stay tuned for stories! Maybe they aren’t as horrible as I remember them and maybe they turn out to be pretty lame but please, I ask of you: do not throw tomatoes at me.

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