behind the scenes

Helga’s Hell Years, 0.

I didn’t like my high school.

Like, if I got wind of the news (because I kind of don’t really care enough to actively keep myself updated when it comes to my high school) that the university had decided to shut the place down, I’d be all “LOL, that’s awesome.”

Some time ago, a fellow blogger told me I should write about my horrible high school experiences (I remember a handful; selective amnesia FTW). I never got around to doing it because those years pretty much sucked BIG TIME for me and why blog about that kind of stuff when I could write about my current awesomeness, amirite? My life would make a pretty okay coming-of-age film, really (B-movie kind of thing with an Asian adult actress with tiny breasts playing me). Anyway, I’m thinking a series of entries about my years at SMALL TOWN HIGH would be interesting. Or would at least make you feel sorry for me? Or hate me more.

Whatever, just don’t psychoanalyze me, please. Mr Boyfriend was a Psych major and that dude can tell me stuff I didn’t know about myself.

A few things y’all need to know first:

  • I was ugly.
  • I was a big Hanson nerd.
  • I was a competitive swimmer.
  • I wasn’t popular.
  • I wasn’t friendly.
  • I wasn’t well-liked.
  • I didn’t like going to class.
  • I liked them boyz.
  • Them boyz didn’t like me back.
  • I changed best friends like I changed my school shoes.
  • I liked to drink and smoke.
  • I yelled a lot.
  • I was always looking for approval. From mah peerz.
  • When my Formspring still allowed anonymous comments, some shining winners from my high school constantly left me hate messages saying that I’ll always be the plastic, cock-sucking whore that I was back then or something like that. Awesome. Nevermind that I never got paid for sex nor did I suck cock then. And I can’t even begin to comprehend how I was the plastic one when I was always backstabbed by them pretty girlz.
  • OMG OMG, my favorite high school memory: people writing crap about me on arm chairs and bathroom stalls!

Lord, I wanna give High School Helga a huge hug. Thank goodness for college (and having the best time of my life) and growth and moving to the city and kittens and blogs and love and trees and vodka. And good genes. Now before any of you start sniggering at me and thinking “LOL HELGA WATTA LEWZER”, let me remind you of my kewtness:

Helga Weber

(I have to tell you that my boyfriend has big guns, too.)


I didn’t like my high school and my high school didn’t like me. No love lost, I’m still awesome. Stay tuned for stories! Maybe they aren’t as horrible as I remember them and maybe they turn out to be pretty lame but please, I ask of you: do not throw tomatoes at me.

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  • Reply Mapet April 16, 2010 at 10:48 pm

    I didn’t like high school as well. Haha.

  • Reply Kristine April 16, 2010 at 11:16 pm

    Eh, girls will hate you because they’re all insecure.

    I hate my high school years, as well. I was never popular (I’m still not popular, but who gives a shit? I don’t)

  • Reply rachel April 17, 2010 at 1:15 am

    i did not like Rural too. too much hate and drama for HS.

  • Reply John April 17, 2010 at 1:15 am

    I guess I’m not the only one who’s thought of their life as a B-movie (except I would play as myself). I was one of those in-between kids (smart, so I wasn’t a loser; unique, so I wasn’t popular).

    I got the teasing, the loser friends who constantly put me down to look cooler; all that jazz.

    Now as a second year in college, I’d say that it was a good experience for me to have. It showed me that I’m much stronger than I think I am, and that ultimately I define myself.

    So what if some people make fun of you? People (especially in high school) will always fun of what is different. Apparently, being brought up in a Nigerian household with morals and values was too much for them.

    No, I didn’t “act black” as they would tell me, because I didn’t talk the way they did or act like an idiot.

    I didn’t disrupt a teacher’s lessons just to get attention from the popular kids. All teachers told me that I was the perfect student…except I wasn’t.

    I hardly ever studied and didn’t really care for school. I was bored all the time to be honest. I’d end up skipping gym at the end of the day to talk to teachers I liked or even workout at home.

    So, yes, I hated my high school. I would have been a much better experience if the kids had better home training. I feel kind of bad that all of the teachers I used to know (who inspired me to love learning and be yourself) are leaving the high school. Without them, I don’t think I would be the person I am today. Maybe I would’ve given up trying to have my own mind and started following the crowd; if only to allay the constant teasing.

    Which teachers will give the shining stars with potential hope now?

    Anyways, thanks for writing about this. I hardly ever comment on here because I haven’t had anything to add until now.

    I come here sometimes to check out your pictures. I’m not going to tell you you’re cute (seems your ego’s pretty inflated already lol). You’re alright I guess.

    P.S. I’ve long since dumped my high school “friends”. Good riddance, really.

  • Reply Dien April 17, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    That reminds me: I didn’t like my highschool life, too.

    Highschool was like my “rebellious stage”. It sucks to remember the odd things I did back then.

  • Reply Janine April 17, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    I LOVE LOVE LOVE the photos of you in this post. Maybe my faves ever.

    I hated my high school too and fit a lot of the things in your list. Except I should have drank and smoked more. I can’t believe people took time to Formspring you. The people from my HS who were stupid try to add me on Facebook now and act friendly. DUMB.

  • Reply nadine April 17, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    nah, highschool is overrated anyway. i’m having a blast being in college.

  • Reply Tin April 17, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    OMG Helga, I was a competitive swimmer too, and I’m suffering to bring back my skin tone. Well, at least my tan lines are gone now. Did you use gluta?

    I am rejoicing right nao, I just graduated and I’m gonna rock socks this College.

    • Reply Helga April 18, 2010 at 3:17 pm

      I was a swimmer ’til my junior year in college. I kinda stopped feeling bad for having dark skin and tan lines when people stopped giving me a hard time about it (trans: come college). I actually like having a nice beach tan! My skin returned to normal eventually =)

      • Reply Tin April 18, 2010 at 10:19 pm

        I think we have the same skin tone not too dark, just right. Some people would “still” dislike me for it, they want people as white as Lucy Torres :( My skin tone last year was more like an African American skin tone, I was that burned from the sun. Oh well, people change. You’re such an ~inSpIrAtiOn~ ;)

  • Reply BrianB April 18, 2010 at 12:04 am

    The problem is younger people alway make gaya-gaya the Americans. With American TV showing the geek-popular kids dichotomy, Pinoy high schoolers have little choice but to mimic. My high school was uneventful, and we were all friend. There was violence, suntukan, even a gun was brought to school one time, but after a while we’re back to being friends. There were jocks, but they weren’t popular. There were popular kids but so what? Still one of us. No geeks, no nerds (teacher’s pets are respected), the only unpopular kids are kids who cannot spend time with us after school because of strict parents.

    Or maybe I wasn’t really paying attention to all the drama. That’s possible too.

  • Reply poohpotato April 21, 2010 at 2:02 am

    this whore thing is what’s consistent in all high schools, eh? in every school, there’s gotta be a girl that they can call a whore.

    i like the kewtness reminder btw. i should learn how to do pictures like that!

  • Reply DK April 21, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    i have a soft spot for girls who are unpopular in high school! because I was too! ohmygod, I hated high school too!

    to all your high school not friends, sorry to them they are not kewt in anyway.

    *hugs to high school Helga*

  • Reply Tippy April 21, 2010 at 8:04 pm

    Haha! This post cracked me up! :)

    What’s funny is that those bullies and bitches who were all that in high school — they usually never really amount to anything much after. So yeah, the universe is funny that way.

  • Reply Xyla May 2, 2010 at 6:47 pm

    Wow. I didn’t know you were backstabbed like that. I’ve always thought you were popular back in HS. Hihi!

    Nvm the backstabbers. They’ll die in hell. <3

  • Reply Ludwig May 4, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    I am so lucky
    to have a daughter
    like you. Sheer Blessing.

  • Reply nix May 4, 2010 at 8:51 pm

    they’re insecure!

    i sort of hate high school too. too many fake friends and people who only like you if they need something from you. people knew who i was but i’m not part of the popular crowd. and i wasn’t liked either.

  • Reply V May 4, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    san ka nag high school? hirap pag sa exclusive high school, eh. ewan ko sakanila, matino naman ako nun pero may isang group ng mga nagmamagaling na bobo sa school ko.

    i went through the same shit. they thought they were in control until they learned that most of the girls from this group who used to bully me weren’t allowed to march on our graduation day.
    bitches didnt know i had connectionz~. snickers.

  • Reply coreena May 4, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    helga! i so don’t remember you that way in highschool! btw, i read your blog. i miss you!

  • Reply Maris May 5, 2010 at 9:55 pm

    I’m from rural too. Yeah I know what you mean, plenty of drama, people think they’re cool and I have no idea why. Life after high school is SO much better. :)

  • Reply dattai May 19, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Cute girl

    Love u !

  • Reply sue-ie May 22, 2010 at 2:33 am

    awesome post.

    fellow ruralite…and of course i knew you back then… ;) and since i was also not popular and kinda mediocre, a competitive swimmer (always 2nd place, since you were first! haha), ugly then, not friendly and liked them boyz who didn’t like me (HA)…and so…I found this post quite entertaining!

    although i didn’t have the same problems as you with the ‘plastic people’ and hate words on toilet stalls…we’ve all had our share in the horror-filled RHS gossip mill…small towns…big mouths.

    glad to see that things always have a way of working out for the better.

    cheers. (this was my first time reading your blog. awesome job.)

  • Reply 071 May 22, 2010 at 2:36 am

    Ha, good post, i could totally relate.

  • Reply Bianca July 23, 2010 at 10:21 pm

    No way, you’re a Ruralite? Cause, yeah, I was too.

    Anyway, I didn’t like high school too (my freshman year at least). I had my real-life Mean Girls, though they were ugly and stupid, unlike Regina George. Heehee. Plus, some juniors bullied me for the most ridiculous things. Thank goodness all of those are way behind me. Ugh.

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