Hello, did ya miss me??? I didn’t mean to go MIA on this blog but that’s what happens when you have a parasite infestation!

Obviously, that is not true but go watch a few episodes of Monsters Inside Me and see if that doesn’t make you think about all those times you didn’t wash your hands, walked around barefoot, or ate sushi! I’ve been tired and sluggish lately and if I still received health benefits from my place of work, I’d have no qualms scooping some of my poop into a cup and walking to the hospital to because HEY I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A FEW SCARY CREATURES IN THERE.

Besides picking out names for my imaginary tapeworm (I’m leaning towards Sandra), my life is pretty much devoted to caring for this opportunistic little critter (a parasite to my wallet, if I may say so myself):

Cone of shame! She can’t seem to keep her stitches intact (because she is an action star and likes to lick herself in between stunts) so we’ve been back to the vet twice since she got spayed over two weeks ago. It took two days after her last visit for the stitches to come apart (again!!!) so I consulted Dr Google on my computer machine and learned that skin/wounds heal on their own; stitches are just there to speed it up (themoreyouknow.jpg). Cone of shame for her until then!

In between cleaning and applying miracle creamz to Little Miss Freakie’s wound, I’ve been dabbling in a few things. Like qooking qith quinoa. I know I’m late but I got my hands on a bag of quinoa (Firefox, stahp; quinoa is a legitimate word, I did not misspell Aquino or Joaquin) last March and finally got around to opening it this month! My favorite so far:

Quinoa cakes with GOOD STUFF LIKE BACON AND EGGS. Recipe here.

Quinoa is super yummy and keeps my mind occupied as I step back and re-think my relationship with rice.

I also made a few non-food stuff 4 funsies!

Do I have the best shirt in the world or do I have thebest.com/shirt-in-the-world??? Sanya stenciled it in; all I did was download the font, pen tool the N in, and buy the shirt and the supplies! Then I watched American Idol while she worked the masking tape and drank beer while she unleashed her inner Banksy (on a white shirt, from herbench). There is no I in TEAMWORK, kids!

Got myself some bb mermaids (cute how I’ve had all three hair colors, too).

And made them pins! Thinking of drawing inverted crosses over their silly little nipples for insta-hipster mermaids.

I had a shoot with Youngstar last Monday and had to wear my own version of a crown. Because I am super kewl&edgy, I tore off the heads of some cheap dolls and stuck them to a headband.

What to do with the bodies of headless low rent Barbie dolls? PUT A PIN BACK ON IT, OF COURSE!

I might redo this torso pin and BEDAZZLE IT (or just dunk it in glitter) and re-position the pin back a little higher.

I had an extra dollhead that went perfectly with one of my little girl headbands.

Looking pensive and stuff.

Apologies for the stupid mix of Photobooth and proper camera photos. I can’t find my remote!