HELLO, HORNDAWGZ. I’m publishing this a bit early to deter me from changing my hair one last time before 2012 ends (I’m tempted, believe me). To quote The Mask— Someboddeh stop meh!
I started twennytwelf with a hangover and a head of Special Effects Cherry Bomb (diluted). That would fade to a pretty cotton candy pink (since my base was a pearly blonde).
Cherry Bomb is probably going to be my go-to pink dye since you can get gallons out of a bottle. When I realized this, I was all “Oh this is fantastique, I can keep this pink for the rest of the year with just this bottle! How thrifty!” and of course, I went ahead and bought more dye the next day because that’s just how much I hate money. Anyway, it’s really a bright red and you only need a smidgen of it to get a nice, hot pink. It also didn’t stain my hair (unlike Candy Apple Red) and getting rid of it was easy.
In March, Benefits Style Salon sponsored my new pink hair. I don’t remember what dye they used but it was even louder and more neon than Cherry Bomb! This made it easier for Hanson to remember me as I stalked them from the airport to Araneta to Cebu.
My order from Beeunique arrived in May (I had to pay PHP1500 in customs!!!) and I wasted no time trying Crazy Color Violette while still keeping some of the faded pink underneath. I really liked this on me and I regret not keeping it longer…
Because this blue business was really ugly and didn’t suit my skin tone. This was also the time when I noticed I was getting really fat so I barely took any photos.
I found a way to make the blue more bearable by adding Crazy Color Peacock Blue and streaks of Special Effects Candy Apple Red. That was really pretty.
Come August, I did a bleach bath intending to dye my hair another color. I was surprised to see that underneath all that blue/turquoise was a mint green!
I did another bleach bath in September and learned that blue/turquoise’s minty fades are just as hard (if not harder) as red to get rid of. The blue dyes stained my hair and left me with ugly yellow and green tones! So I added some streaks just for lulz. It got a handful of compliments but I made the mistake of studying my face in an airplane bathroom (harsh, unflattering lighting) and just felt gross.
Before September even ended, I decided to whack on a bunch of different dyes. It was okay, but my roots turned brown which was not okay. So I BB-ed and slapped on some Crazy Color Pinkissimo.
The Pinkissimo faded really nicely :) The roots were getting very peachy, though, so I put on undiluted Crazy Color Violette.
Then I decided it was time to start working on going silver/white. A girl can dream.
Which obviously didn’t happen because I couldn’t live with the brassy blonde! So I settled for a twist on the classic Cruella instead, which is my current hair.
To be honest, I’m a little disappointed with the dyes I used. Wildflower went on patchy and a bit translucent. The dye didn’t even take on some parts, leaving me with grayish green bits. The Cupcake Pink wasn’t strong enough to completely cover my yellow-blonde roots and they turned peach, like, 2 days later (even after two applications!).
Number of times I bleached my hair: 6.
Number of times I did a bleach bath: 6:
Number of times I double-processed: 1 (bleach followed by a toner that had to be mixed with peroxide).
Number of times I had my hair trimmed: 4.
Number of times I thought about stopping this madness and just going back to a more natural color: 2.
How does your hair not fall out, Helga?!
In June, I learned what bleach baths were and the wonders of virgin coconut oil. Since then, I have been slathering coconut oil on my hair and letting it sit for at least an hour before applying bleach. I recommend this to anyone applying bleach or permanent/box dye— basically anything that you have to mix with peroxide/developer. It really helps in minimizing damage and my hair is not gummy at all when wet (a sign that you’ve destroyed your shit). I’ve also been good at waiting at least a month in between full bleaches/a week in between bleach baths.
My hair is understandably dry and when the tips start snapping off, I know it’s time for a trim (currently need one). Damage tends to travel up towards the hair shaft and it’s better to just cut off the ugly bits because no amount of hair repair products will work.
Hair Products I Use:
Human Nature Conditioners – These don’t contain silicones, which coat your hair like plastic, giving the illusion of soft, healthy hair. It’s all cosmetic! Since I only shampoo twice or thrice a month, I need a cone-free conditioner to keep build-up at a minimum.
Human Nature Natural Hair Mask Avocado & Gugo Bark (in Jasmine) – My favorite hair mask! Smells really great, too.
Clairol Shimmer Lights Shampoo – A purple shampoo to keep brassiness at bay. It can also be used as a toner after bleaching (as long as your hair is yellow)! I apply it on dry hair and leave it on for at least thirty minutes. Very drying, but nothing that a deep conditioning can’t fix.
Organix Moroccan Argan Deep Penetrating Oil – This contains silicone and I use this sparingly now. It really makes your hair feel super soft but again, it’s cosmetic (unless you have pure argan oil, I guess).
Virgin Coconut Oil – Brands I use are Prosource or SM Bonus. After showering, I put juuuust a little on my damp hair.
Joico K-Pak Deep Reconstructor – Stupid expensive at $40 for a liter but worth the investment. It’s a protein treatment and I use this once a week (twice, if I had just bleached). Warning: too much protein is bad for your hair! Protein can also be very drying and again, it’s nothing that a deep conditioning can’t fix.
Your hair loses protein whenever you chemically process it so make sure to replenish with a reconstructor, a keratin treatment (I used to use Hortaleza’s), or virgin coconut oil. You can try mayonnaise but IT IS DISGUSTING. If your hair starts feeling coarse and dry, you’ve gone overboard and need to moisturize ASAP. Protein-moisture balance can be a little tricky.
Olive Oil – Just slather it on and let it sit for an hour and then rinse off with conditioner (I find that conditioner does a better job at removing oils than shampoo). I hate the smell of olive oil so I don’t do this often but it makes my hair feel RULL SOFT.
I ordered a set of blonde extensions off some China eBay seller so I’m excited to see the stuff I’ll be able to do when I get them next year. I hope they truly are 100% human hair or else I will throw a fit because I don’t think artificial hair can hold dye!
If you have any hair-related questions, I’d be happy to answer them in the comments. Please remember that I am not a professional, just a strong independent woman too cheap for salons. Obviously.