On Tuesday, I finally signed a contract declaring myself as a regular employee with benefits and all that fancy stuff (JK no fancy stuff here). I just have to go through the rest of the pre-employment requirements to make it Official. Tomorrow, I’ll be taking my bra off for a breast exam and will be peeing in a cup for a urinalysis etc etc (from boobs to bodily fluids, so sexy). I’m studying hard for that medical exam, yo. Quite frankly, I’m dreading finding out how much I weigh now because those heavy duty clinic scales don’t lie!
Things are great. I have friends, I have a ~social life~, I have cats, I have a gym membership (that I wasted this month) and I have money to pay for all four. I also have love but who’s asking?!
These days, this blog is the last thing on my mind. LIES! Everyday, I wake up and panic because I have nothing to put on here. LIES! Everyday, I wake up, check the time and wonder if I can squeeze in five more minutes of sleep before hauling my butt off to Makati for another day of work.
But yes, thinking about this blog and the lack of content/updates makes me panic a little. I don’t want to disappear into e-obscurity, I’m not indie enough for that! If I were to be truthful, I’d say I’m scared I no longer know how to express myself through words. I write everyday— every goddamn day— but it’s the kind of writing you have to do because you want to go to Laneway and maybe Outside Lands next year, ya know? I want to write about myself (my expertise), my cats, and my life but I am constantly plagued by the thought that no one cares so why bother! Those who care, I talk to daily anyway.
What I’m saying is “please don’t forget about this blog, I’m trying. Things have just been a little back and forth lately.”
Now I’m off to Landmark for the second time this day to get a sports bra so I can work off the two subs and the mini cupcake I ate this afternoon.