I have the kind of face that only a mother with very low expectations and even lower standards can love, so every morning I cake on the makeup and put on an entirely brand new mug.

I’m kidding; I am beautiful like a spring flower in bloom or a triple cheese bacon 1/3-lber with the works and a side of fried pickles, and so are you.

Summer is a pretty doodie time for makeup because I live in the armpit of Asia where it is hot, humid, dirty, and smelly. Lucky for me, I enjoy a somewhat cushy commuter life so I can still pile on the Revlon and not have it melt off my face in 2 minutes 55 seconds. However, I have to take out a few things that feel gross under the scorching sun, such as powder (and a denim jacket lol fashion bloggers, stop) so I’m maybe a little uglier than usual from March to May.

Here are the things currently housed in my PHP25 makeup pouch which I bought from Saizen/Daiso last week:

Eyes

Nyx Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk Lait (PHP300). I use this on my waterline because kawaii desu ne???

It’s a pretty shitty liner and I prefer the K-Palette Real Lasting Tears Tank because that stuff lasts ALL DAY! But I’m making that tipid-tipid since I don’t know where to get that locally and I’m not going to HK or Singapore any time soon.

Eyebrow Pencil Elliptical Core (PHP88). Elliptical core. I got this from Saizen/Daiso and it does the job. It’s automatic/retractable and holy shit, I just discovered the wonders of never having to fucking sharpen another beauty pencil for the rest of my life. Technology! Advancement! 21st century!

Avon Glimmersticks Eye Liner in Blackest Black. This came in the Avon x Glamourbox from last year but I didn’t get around to using it until a couple of weeks ago. GAME CHANGER jk it’s not but I’m never going back to potted gel liners. Pencils are convenient and this liner is A+ because it stays put on in a way that Tony Moly and Bobbie Brown could never.

Nichido Girls’ Night Out Eye Pencil in Nice Gal (PHPcheapasfuck). I only have this for the sponge tip, which I use to smudge my eyeliner with to create a nice cat eye.

Heavy Rotation Coloring Eyebrow in 01. I bought this during my Hong Kong trip last August and my only regret is not hoarding this stuff. I rue the day I run this tube dry, though I was told that the James Cooper eyebrow mascara is pretty okay, too.

Benefit They’re Real! Mascara. I hardly wear mascara but when I do, it’s Benefit. And Avon. But the Avon stick is pretty big, so this cute and tiny little thing goes into my makeup bag.

Face

E.L.F. Healthy Glow Bronzing Powder in Luminance. My favorite highlighter because it’s cheap so I can re-apply all I want when I sweat it off and not feel guilty.

Italia Deluxe blush in Plumwine (PHP119). I was meant to try out LA Colors but I walked up to the wrong kiosk at SM Beauty (LA Girl?) last week and picked this out without looking. It’s all right; I still use (my almost ubos) Snoe Beauty’s SABStance in Just in the mornings.

Etude House Concealer. This won’t erase your face, which could be a bad thing depending on how ugly you are.

Lips

Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Smitten and Cherish. I bought these over a year ago and they are still going S T R O N G but that’s mostly due to non-use. I used to love Cherish and hate Smitten but it’s the other way around now. Smitten is perfection.

Smith’s Lip Balm in Minted Rose. I am a slave to rosebud salve. It looks a mess because stupid summer.

Everything Else

Emergency tampon, birth control, emergency pantyliner, extra hair tie (that I will deny having in the event that you need one), blush brush, and trimming scissors.

Being a girl is fun.