I spend a lot of time on Twitter, silently lulzing at people. YOU KNOW YOU DO IT, TOO. While I try to practice kindness and positivity in life, I still enjoy the occasional private snarkfest. It’s normal. It’s not bad. Everyone does it. At least I’m being honest. We can’t like everybody!
If I could control the internet, here are the 5 types of people I wish would delete their Twitter apps and step away from their phones… forever.
The Incessant Self-Promoter
There are two kinds:
The one who plugs their latest blog entry 5x in, like, 5 hours. Dude, it’s just a pair of fucken shorts— calm down.
The one who RTs entries… to their own giveaways/contests. You know the type! They require a tweet from you to join and that’s fine and dandy but then they go and RT entries BY BULK! And suddenly, MY timeline is filled with tweets by strangers for some dumb contest I don’t care about.
Please don’t be like that.
What you can do: Instead of RT-ing entries, simply tweet and remind people that you have this fabulous giveaway running. It’s that simple!
The one who RTs… compliments about themselves. A lot like the incessant self-promoter, actually!
I get it— it’s nice when people compliment us but is it really necessary to let your followers know what a certain person thinks about you? Everytime someone says something lovely to me on Twitter, I get the urge to re-tweet them SO I TOTALLY GET YA, COMPLIMENT RT-ER. But I fight the urge lest I want to embarrass myself and earn the eye rolls of some 3000 people.
What you can do: Stop, drop, and roll and just tweet a sweet and simple thank you.
(Though I’ve probably RT-ed a few compliments here and there in the past, heh.)
That Moron Who Live Tweets a Newly-Aired Show (Or Movie)
— Li'l Windmill (@BestInHelga) March 1, 2015
@helgatheweber ano baaaa haven't seen it yet!!! Man
— CarLos Magno (@Los_Magno) March 1, 2015
What you can do: When I think of Ruffa Gutierrez, I think of that time she spoiled In My Life for everyone on Twitter and then proceeded to insult those who called her out for it. Don’t be Ruffa.
People Who RT People I’ve Unfollowed
I hardly unfollow people on Twitter because I’m pretty tolerant and can deal with a huge amount of bullshit as long as I get to laugh about it at the end of the day. However, I will unfollow you IF I HATE YOU. IN REAL LIFE. AS A PERSON. FOR MORAL REASONS.
It’s easy to kick people out of your Twitter life until someone you follow (and like) re-tweets them and poisons your timeline.
What you can do: Only RT quality people.
People Like Me
The internet has no rules, Helga! Stop imposing your will on others! Bitch!
What about you? Who do you hate on Twitter? Let those claws out!