Archive for breaking up the girl
May 29, 2008 at 7:09 pm | Filed under breaking up the girl
That up there would be my baby, Peachy. We got her December last year so I’m guessing she’s about 6-7 months old. Now as much as I love cats (and all animals, actually, except ugly ones like snakes and chihuahuas) and despite having a handful for pets, I admit to not knowing much about them (save for cat care basics and how to keep them happy and cute).
So OMG, why is my baby in heat!!! She’s not even allowed to date yet!
Peachy isn’t spayed since my mom plans on finding her a fine upstanding Siamese boycat to mate and breed with. The thing is, she’s still too young to have babies and her being in heat is killing me. I asked the internet for help (meaning I googled ‘cat is in heat‘) hoping I’d find some tips to make it a little easier for Peachy. Aside from this completely horrifying tip involving a Q-tip and some very unfunny youtube videos, I also learned that there are health risks (risks that eventually lead to death) involved when you don’t have your kitty spayed.
I feel like crying.
She keeps calling out for tomcats and it’s driving me insane and all I want to do is let her out of her cage but I don’t want her mating with the ugly neighborhood males, either. Lover keeps telling me not to stress about it and I keep trying to convince myself that it’s for her own good but whenever I hear her meowing pitifully, my heart just breaks.
Have any of you ever had to deal with a cat in heat? Help!
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May 25, 2008 at 3:15 pm | Filed under 23 for 23, breaking up the girl, mr wonderful
I’m turning 23 in less than a week and I’ve been asked several times what my plans are. I have nothing. Oddly enough, I have yet to find the desire to mark the “occasion” with alcohol and other shows of early-20s debauchery.
You know what I want— what I really want— for my birthday? Ice cream over cupcakes and him mouthing the words “I love you” at me from across the table.
Bah.
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23 for 23 is me posting one birthday-related entry a day (or at least attempts to), ending on May 31st. See all posts here.
April 18, 2008 at 9:06 pm | Filed under breaking up the girl
After a year of being postponed, my good friend Klassy finally left for the US last Monday.
It’s sad and what’s sadder is that I wasn’t able to see her off. Klassy and I go way way way back, to a time when she was known as ‘bursting at the seams’ and I, ’sicfairy’. Ours is a friendship founded on Hanson (yes, the band) but based on so much more. It’s a nice big bundle of crazy, of fangirl-isms, of scream-singing in cars, of drunken nights, of themed parties, of Fun Times At 20 Avelino Street, of ugly green and white uniforms, of catholic schoolgirl angst, of Katipunan Avenue meanderings, of LJ-ing, of “rabid like burning chlamydia”, of emo porch moments, of hookah!, of purple clay penises!, of lezzie love, of love, of being there for each other, and… it’s cheesy and sappy, but it’s actually harder to write about her than I thought it’d be.
It’s odd knowing that she’s not within texting distance nowadays. Like, “K, wanna have coffee, let’s” kind of distance. Like, “K, it’s Tiesto tomorrow, wanna watch, let’s” kind of distance. Like “K, gather the kids, let’s do something” kind of distance.
Now it’s an “I’ll see you, I’ll come visit you. Not soon, but I will!” kind of distance. And it’s sad.
So I’ll leave it at that, although Klassy deserves more than a blog entry (and definitely a BETTER blog entry than this) from me.
TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD: KLASSY AND KUPCAKES.
O-HO! DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE!
Two more geeky things after the cut.
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March 25, 2008 at 12:15 pm | Filed under breaking up the girl
I couldn’t think of a way to start this so I thought “Hey, maybe I should just type whatever comes to mind, for ten minutes, and leave it unedited.” This could work.
Today, I did something stupid and unearthed my old online journal accounts. There aren’t a lot left, as my old LJs have been deleted and purged. It’s a bit sad, really, especially when I remember my reasons for deleting them (and then proceeded to clean up my main LJ account). A clue: it involves a boy and some bitterness. And now, this place is in “danger” of deletion, spring cleaning, or maybe just stagnation. I never did confusion and disappointment well. But I tell myself: “No, Helga, you are not 17 anymore (nevermind that the boy and bitterness mentioned happened when I was 19 or 20, I forget, but it was beautiful while it lasted and that’s all I should remember) and this isn’t Livejournal.”
“Chin up,” I used to tell myself. And it used to work. (”Suck it up, you’re a pro”, too.) When you’re young and your biggest problem in the world is losing five pounds by the time bikini season begins, everything can be handled easily like ABC (sometimes with grace, sometimes with several proper stiff ones) and happiness can be beckoned back in a snap.
I really don’t know what I’m driving at. Lately, “I don’t know” seems to be my life’s theme and for once, not only am I not okay with it, I’m also okay with not being okay with it.
That’s my ten minutes. A lot of pauses, my fingers hovering above my keyboard. A lot of toggling, from this browser to change the song. A lot of wondering, if I’d lost my capability for reflection, for deep thought, for grand things.
Obviously, I am having issues. I’d like to keep things pretty and so I will try.
I miss words. Playing with words. Seeing how many words I can cram into one sentence and still keep its coherence. Not being shy to use certain words in certain contexts.
I miss those little wagers I used to hold with myself. If I can go through the week subsisting on strong coffee and cigarettes, he will love me. If I lose weight and fit into this pair of jeans from when I was a senior in high school, he will love me. If I can just resist the urge to talk to him, if I can just resist the urge to let him know that his indifference bothers me, I will win him over.
I miss being unforgiving and having the guts and the willpower to make a decision and stick to it.
I miss being fascinated by people. Perhaps this is not under my control because it’s possible that people have gotten less fascinating in the last few years or maybe there’s a lack of fascinating people this side of the world. But. I miss being wow-ed and rendered speechless (or breathless) by something that doesn’t consist of pixels and/or codes.
I miss playing Pokemon Yellow and drunken Free Cell. And winning!
I miss Katipunan Avenue. On a dreary post-rain gray weekday afternoon. In my uniform. In the rain. From my dorm room window. At 2am, stumbling home, drunk. Fuck— at 6pm, in my uniform, stumbling home, drunk.
Right now, a drink is what I need.
February 10, 2008 at 6:15 pm | Filed under bitchin' a ride, breaking up the girl, mr wonderful
(I was supposed to upload a Wordpress theme that I created— not just modified— and guess what? I couldn’t log in to my FTP or Plesk. Why? My account’s been suspended WITHOUT WARNING OR MY KNOWLEDGE. Hurrah hurrah. FUCK THIS.)
It hits me at the weirdest times, like on my way to the bathroom he uses when he’s at my place or worse, when I figure out a code and have to share my success as a geek with someone (which happens a lot lately, considering that all I ever do now when I’m home is code. Hello, escapism).
It’s lonely without lover.
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Hi, my name's Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 23. My first socio-political scandal will happen at the age of 35 and will include men, sushi, an African country, and lots of money. My lover is the greatest. 
