EMOTIONS D’AUJOURD’HUI.

April 26, 2007 at 8:54 am | Filed under breaking up the girl, joyful girl, the helga manual

It’s the unexpected little things that will always make me happy. That, I realized yesterday early evening when I went to our building’s Starbucks (as I always do, when I have a few minutes to spare) to get my pre-shift caffeine fix. A few feet away from the counter, my barista crush looks up, flashes his very D-like braces at my direction and greets me with a “Hi, Helga.” I smile back, throw my money down and give my order. “Starting work?” Small talk, I love small talk. “Here’s your drink, Helga, see you again later,” as I leave.

Nevermind that he still spells my name as Helda.

Also, things like getting a Phase IV right on the first try (you are not Sabre-trained, you are not a travel agent— so yes, what the what is a Phase IV, right. Take my word for it: it’s complicated shit). Victory! Pwned!

And the way my direct supervisor calls all the girls in my batch “sweetheart” (I wonder what he calls the boys, then) and when he says “rock and roll” or “I’m ready to rock, are you ready to roll?” or “is that going to rock? Cos let’s roll” when I’m just about to make like a te-te-terrorist and wreak havoc on all flights from today until June 18. Of next year. Said supervisor also has very D-like braces, but then I think I think all men with braces have mouths that look like D‘s.

I’m starting to answer to the name Heather. In real life. I’m not sure how I feel about this.

Today was a horrible day at work. And I survived. But just barely.

Michael: Angel bailed me out.
James: Angel?
Michael: Well, actually, Angel bailed you out.
James: Me?
Michael: Yeah, I told the police I was you.
[James gawks in disbelief]
Michael: Oh James, it’s just all in fun. And after I told them you had AIDS, they gave me my own room with a VCR and ice cream!
James: Michael, I don’t even like you! I have never liked you!

-Party Monster

Yeah, that’s basically today’s emotions.

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IT ENDED BAD, BUT I LOVE WHAT WE STARTED.

November 19, 2006 at 5:05 am | Filed under breaking up the girl, technicolor lover, the single girl phenomenon

I don’t want to wax emoetic over the fact that D just dumped me last night, three hours before my shift for work. Boyfriend is in Galera right now, and after two days of being incommunicado, he finally texts me. What we had was awesome, but hey, let’s stop blah blah blah. I told him I always kept my end of the bargain (kinda), and that I respect his decision, but I’m not about to be friends with him.

And that I don’t know which is sadder: the possibility of me never having good sex again, or that I’ve finally lost him :cute:. But enough about that. Let’s quote one of my favorite break-up songs: LiLo’s Over (by the way, I’ve reconstructed my Oh Well— WHAT WASTED UNCONDTIONAL LOVE!— playlist to include some RnB songs for major heartbreak. Oh why did I have to fall for a man who listens to RnB).

I watch the walls around me crumble, but it’s not like I won’t build them up again.

I realized over coffee, cigarettes, and the Oh Well playlist that I’m capable of getting even without getting mad first. In a demented and masochistic way, of course. Running to his ex and spilling the beans (oh, did I mention? They broke up last week) isn’t something I’d do— that’s, like, totally B-class you-slept-with-my-boyfriend-you-slut! drama; and I’m all for the bitch-slut-whore-you-slept-with-my-friend!!! kind of thing. B+ drama, what’s up.

In other news, I fell down the stairs last Thursday and sort of sprained my lower back and my left arm. The new boytoy and I were supposed to go out for drinks Friday night, but I was too plastered from lunch (I kidnapped one of my co-workers and made it my mission to turn her into a Southern version of me. Translation: Project “Let’s Make Vida An Alcoholic”. We started drinking at 12 noon) and had to take a nap to prep myself for another night of fun social casualties. I woke up Friday night with MAJOR CHILLS, like mehn, my teeth hurt so much from chattering non-stop for two hours.

The spoiled brat in me kicked in— boytoy offered to take me to the hospital the next day (after WE have OUR car carwashed), which turned into “Do you want me to bring you to the hospital right now?”, to which I replied with an “Are you fucking kidding me, can’t you see it HURTS to even move my toes right now???”

He got me out of my miniskirt and put me in sweats, socks, and his jacket. Basically, his “I’m gonna rape you tonight” statement turned into “I’m getting you medicine, and you better eat something”.

Oh, and I’m at work. I refuse to take more paracetamol and mefenamic acid, because I am aiming for the clinic to send me home by lunch. So I can sit in my Vortex, smoke a pack of Marlboro Reds, and listen to the Oh Well playlist.

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The Longest Weekend aka We, The Escapists

October 2, 2006 at 5:22 am | Filed under breaking up the girl, technicolor lover

From: Weber, Helga Gabrielle
To: Plazo, Bryan Del

Subject: on why I was absent last Friday (and other stories)

Yan,

I was unable to make it to work last Friday due to the following reasons:

• No thanks to the typhoon and lousy engineering (which rendered my windows and ceiling useless in keeping the wind and rain out), my condo unit was flooded with…well, rain water. I had to move out of my room into an extra room (provided to me by the building management), which unfortunately still held the belongings of the previous occupant (a Blue fanboy with a vast collection of gossip magazines, a Sam Milby album, a cheerleading outfit, and lots and lots of smelly laundry). Suffice to say, the room was highly uninhabitable.

• No thanks to the typhoon (again!!!), our building (and the whole of Katipunan Avenue) lost electricity and water. I live on the fifth floor, and I once almost died going down the stairs when I slipped on a puddle of water. There were lights on when this incident happened. There weren’t any lights last Thursday night/Friday early morning. My phone had died some hours before my shift (roughly around nine pm) so I was unable to check if anyone near my area had electricity and running water, so I could bum some bath water and toothbrush water.

In summary, I was unable to report to work last Friday for two reasons: 1) my condo unit was flooded; 2) no water + no electricity = smelly employee.

Thanks,
Helga Gabrielle Weber

I need not mention in the e-mail that more than half of the fifth-floor tenants (which includes me) convened in Alon’s room to drink the typhoon away. So yes, I was substantially drunk when Melenyo fucking WRECKED my condo unit. The typhoon abracadabra-ed a river in our hallway. A lake, my floor. And a poltergeist, my ceiling. It was crazy.

And I shit you not about Blue fanboy (whose room we have christened L’hotel Orphanage). He has a clearbook filled with Blue paraphernalia and a shitload of magazines that kept us entertained for two light-less, fan-less, TV-less, and water-less days.

FRIDAY NIGHT, WE CHECKED INTO A HOTEL BECAUSE WE COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE. WE WERE SUICIDIAL (well, I was) AND RABID BECAUSE THE PHONELINES WEREN’T WORKING. WE WERE READY TO CHECK OURSELVES INTO A HOSPITAL IF WE COULDN’T FIND A VACANT HOTEL ROOM, THAT’S HOW DESPERATE WE WERE.

Saturday, we clean our rooms. We drinky-winky while doing so, if only to escape reality a bit. I was visibly buzzed by the time I was bringing my things back into my dry room. I conk out at 11am…

…And wake up at 9am the next day (Sunday). An hour into a game of Free Cell, Allah comes home from work and we open a bottle of rhum.

You know what, I’m gonna shut up now and just say it:

D AND I ARE OVER.

And so I bring you Sad/Angry Girl Anthem #1:  

Just tell me what you’ve got to say to me,
I’ve been waiting for so long to hear the truth,
It comes as no surprise at all you see,
So cut the crap and tell me that we’re through.

Now I know your heart, I know your mind,
You don’t even know you’re being unkind,
So much for all your highbrow Marxist ways,
Just use me up and then you walk away,
Boy you can’t play me that way.

Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.

When I saw my best friend yesterday,
She said she never liked you from the start,
Well me, I wish that I could claim the same,
But you always knew you held my heart.
And you’re such a charming handsome man,
Now I think I finally understand,
Is it in your genes?, I don’t know,
But I’ll soon find out, that’s for sure,
Why did you play me this way?

Well I guess what you say is true,
I could never be the right kind of girl for you,
I could never be your woman.

Well I guess what they say is true,
I could never spend my life with a man like you,
I could never be your woman.

-YOUR WOMAN, WHITE TOWN

I’m tired. Why must The Last Goodbye be so irresistible for moments like these, when we know it’ll only make us cry.

PS: I came in for work, turns out I DON’T have work today.

PPS: My tita bought me a laptop, I’m getting it when her friend comes here to the Philippines.

PPPS: I’m gonna be okay, okay, okay. :)

Comments (1)

I, The Escapist

September 20, 2006 at 12:09 pm | Filed under a waste of human capital, breaking up the girl

I’m resigning. Soon.

Six months today. Hello, I’m Helga and I’m a regular employee, fully-entitled to all company benefits. And I can now make use of the six incentive leaves I’ve earned these past six months.

But I’m resigning. Even though I am highly promotable (I haven’t been late in weeks), as implied by my direct supervisor. Even though I’m kinda good at what I do. Even though I have made some good friends in this program.

I admit that a big contributor to this decision is the fact that I went crying-psycho in front of co-workers and bosses last Sunday. I have exerted a great deal of effort at keeping a low profile here at work: sure, everyone knows me, but only impersonally. You know: Helga— crazy and mean but a good girl, nonetheless? NOT drunken hysterical Helga who airs out her issues to everyfuckingone?

And, well, Branders is hiring and they pay a whole lot better than my current employer.

I have to get out.

Comments (5)

NOOOO!!!

August 15, 2006 at 3:38 am | Filed under a waste of human capital, bitchin' a ride, breaking up the girl

This sucks this sucks this sucks. My schedule for work changes again next week. I’ll be in the 4am to 1pm shift.

 D‘s in the 7pm to 4am shift.

It’s been a convenient past two weeks, having the same shift as him. AND NOW! AND NOW! I dreaded this would happen. He was like, “Nah, it won’t” the first time I brought it up. AND NOW! AND NOW!!!

I asked my superviosr if I can stay in the 7pm to 4am shift still. But it’s gonna be complicated and stuff, so I’ll be getting preferred days off/rest days instead. ARGH!!!

HOW TO MAKE THIS WORK!!!

:cry:

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