EXPIRATION DATE

July 10, 2006 at 3:15 pm | Filed under breaking up the girl, technicolor lover

See, right now, I want nothing more than to be with him. A couple of weeks ago, during one of our fights, I told him that: the only guy I want right now is being an asshole. I mean, really, if someone threw you a line like that (just disregard the last four words)— wouldn’t that appease you? Make you feel all giddy inside?

It apparently doesn’t work for him. From my POV, “guy I want” were the operative words in that sentence. From his POV, it was “right now”. Meaning I could change my mind and run off with someone else in the next twenty seconds.

I digress. Like I said, I want nothing more than to be with him. Waking up beisde him; getting up to sit on his tummy and telling him I’m hungry and we should go get some food; running my hands through his hair to put him to sleep; my head on his bicep; my teeth on his shoulder; him growling and flashing his braces because I find it cute; the way his says “puh-puh-please“; his picking up my habit of keeping empty cans, cups and Yakult bottles in my fridge. Blah blah blah, and all that corny crap.

Oh god, do I have to keep on blabbing.

I’ve never been one to do the SOCIALLY-ACCEPTED right thing. Sure, I follow rules and am proudly a law-abiding citizen. But when it comes to Filipino values (or values, in general) I’ve always been a bit of a deviant. Fuck, why can’t I just get to the point.

I’m thinking of ending whatever D and I have. His girlfriend’s coming back to the city this week, so HE says we’ll have to plan our meet-ups now, including as to when we’ll be watching Pirates II. This naturally puts me in the sour-est and most confused mood you can imagine. :blah:

I can’t handle being the other woman. I’m a very jealous person, and I ask for undivided attention and lovin’. I cannot stand the fact that I have to share him, his time, his emotions, and his dick with a girl whom I naturally feel I am prettier, smarter and better in bed than. Because I’m arrogant like that and because he’s cheating on her. But really, if I were all that, then why is he still with her, right?

Don’t wanna be like every other girl in the world / Like every other one who wants you / ‘Cause when I see you, something inside me burns / And then I realize I wanna come first

-First, LiLo

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