Archive for camwhorage
May 6, 2008 at 3:20 am | Filed under camwhorage
A boy I once dated told me— after pinning me down on the bed and holding my arms above my head and staring at mah face— that what’s good about it (mah face) is that its— or the features are— symmetrical.
Best compliment ever (until lover told me that I had him at “I’m drunk” and at “Let’s eat”, of course).
Tiff just had to ruin it for me by bringing the Golden Ratio Mask up.
LOOK! I AM OPTIMUS PRIME! …KINDA.
So based on the Golden Ratio Mask, I need a wider face, a narrower nose, smaller eyes, thinner lips, and…are those bigger eyebags? Mmm, gorgeous.
If you’d like to try the mask on your own face, click here. Just put the mask on a new layer and choose ‘Multiply’ as that layer’s blending mode.
BRB, suicide break. I am not beautiful, according to Mother Nature!
May 1, 2008 at 7:07 pm | Filed under camwhorage, ditz drivel, mr wonderful
As most of you already know (because the very day I got it, I messaged half of the people on my YM list), I was recently given a Flickr PRO account by a very awesome, very generous, and very sexy person (also known as my lover). Now I’m no photographer and I grudgingly make do with my stupid piece-of-shit point-and-shoot Sony Cybershot and Photoshop to come up with half-decent photos (I’m sorry, I take photos not pictures; same way that I watch films, not movies. Now HUHLOLZ with me, please). Amazingly enough I’ve been told (by lover and my mom) that I have an eye for photography and that I take nice photos (again, said by lover and my mom).
Lover even created another YM handle to “anonymously” message me (under the username t****ekicks) to say this:
t****ekicks: some nice pictures on you flickr. you should upgrade to a dSLR soon.
Helga: I know, haha. Thank you =)
(t****ekicks: Also, nice tits. Your face isn’t so bad but your mouth is so annoying, I feel the need to bitchslap it. Hard. With my penis.)
MY POINT-AND-SHOOT CAMERA. LOHOHOLZ I’M SO WITTEH!
But this entry isn’t about how I truly need to get rid of my POSPOS cam and get myself a snazzy dSLR (because really, I don’t want to bully an already stressed, very awesome, very generous, and very sexy person also known as my lover and pressure him into doing something he probably only meant half-heartedly by publishing in my blog that he plans on getting me one. One = dSLR). No siree.
I was chatting with Fatima Camiloza today (you can read her interview with Comicology here) and she happened to be on my Flickr account (not surprisingly, as I have been pimping it non-stop the past week). This is what she had to say:
Fatima camiloza: I hate these one angle girls. I want to punch them in the face lol
Fatima camiloza: I love how your pics have such variety
So I may not be a photographer but I sure am a camwhore (and a pretty damn good one, except when other people are taking my pictur— I mean, photos. Somehow, I always end up looking like a tool when I’m not the one doing the snapping). Give me five minutes with a camera and I’ll take about 200+ pictur— I mean, photos. Of myself. And maybe myself with a few random objects and someone else’s elbow.
Now because I am such an awesome awesome camwhore (it’s also probably the only thing in my life I’m good at, besides giving headjobs), I’m here to give you a few quick and basic DON’T EVER DO THAT!s in camwhoring.
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April 29, 2008 at 6:44 pm | Filed under camwhorage, the internets
First, proof that I was at iBlog 4’s after-party last Saturday. Because, my friends, the law of the internet is: PICS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!!! (or PICS OR NOT TRUE!!!):
THERE’S A NORMAL LOOKING PENNY, HELGA, AND ANNE.
AND THEN THERE’S MIKEY.
I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT LUIS DID TO BIM, BUT IT CAN’T BE GOOD.
Highlight of the evening was watching Ade and Lauren’s band, Lose Your Beer Belly, play.
Now that that’s out of the way.
In today’s episode, we tackle pressing matters such as your newfound internet fame, how not to come across as an attention whore when you’re, well, pretending to NOT be one (and obviously failing at it), missing doctypes, swearing off dating bloggers (but there is an exception, apparently), why screaming Japanese gibberish in a really high-pitched voice at 3 in the morning can be annoying to some people, and how to properly respond to stalker-ish blog entry mentions about you.
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April 21, 2008 at 6:59 pm | Filed under camwhorage, joyful girl, vacations
I can’t believe that I just spent two days and one night in a place devoid of any necessities (and what more, conveniences) offered by the modern world. And damn, I do declare: Anawangin Cove was LOVELY. Sure, we had our “I wanna go back home, OMG OMG OMG I miss my bed, I miss my boyfriend, I want a massage, I want flushing toilets and a proper shower, I want fried chicken, I want a chocolate milkshake, I want to go back home and blog, I wish I never came here, I miss Twitter” moments, but all in all, we fared pretty well.
No, that’s an understatement. If there’s anything we learned about ourselves this weekend, it’s that surviving in the wilderness on a remote island (with no electricity, no running water, no cellular reception, no cold drinks, and no fresh-off-the-deep-fryer KFC chicken) skills? WE HAZ ‘EM. And I shit you not when I say we had to gather wood for fire (because the dude with the stove was caught up in them mountains). As Anne said, while we were dragging the firewood from the beach back to our tents: How primitive. I shit you not, too, when I say that it took ten people to cook a pot of rice. We blame it on our sheltered middle class upbringing.
Anawangin Cove is, hands down, one of the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever been to. The landscape is amazing and something I’ve never seen before (probably because I don’t travel much and tend to stick to tried-and-tested vacation destinations): mountains, a gorgeous beach, pine trees, a river, a lake, foliage, chickens (srsly, chickens at a beach???), and the clearest moonlit night sky. It all sounds cheesy until you get there, so shut up, asshole.
Unfortunately, everyone had the brilliant idea of going there the same weekend as us. The place was substantially peopled, much to our annoyance (because we’re greedy and we don’t particularly like showering in front of an ogling male crowd or sharing two toilets with a hundred strangers), but it was an all right crowd. I guess. It’s not like we had a choice.
It is also worth saying that although we had with us several bottles of alcohol, none of us got drunk or attempted to get drunk. This camping trip earns the Most Sober Fun I’ve Ever Had My Whole Life award.
I love the Philippines =)
Pictures! Lots of them! Here and here and here and under the cut!
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April 16, 2008 at 5:46 am | Filed under Y!M conversations, camwhorage, mr wonderful
Helga: Im a kitty!
Helga: http://www.flickr.com/photos/helga/
Roel: :))
Roel: boardedd?
Helga: I took pictures for Lover lol
Helga: Its how we keep the relationship alive
Helga: I pretend to be a cat
Helga: He pretends his girlfriend is normal
What I did today, instead of working on the five design plates due for my crash course on creative conceptualization tomorrow:
I don’t eat fishies or Whiskas, though. Meow.
(Yes yes, I know it looks like somebody came all over me. Dirty mirror shots = fail.)
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Hi, my name's Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 23. My first socio-political scandal will happen at the age of 35 and will include men, sushi, an African country, and lots of money. My lover is the greatest. 
