Archive for ditz drivel
July 7, 2008 at 6:16 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, mr wonderful
Next to cheese, useless stuff on sale, and the smell of victory in the morning, there is nothing I love more than cats (especially the LOL breed). Obviously, I think cats make awesome— if not the best— pets and I honestly want to feed a puppy to a polar bear everytime a non-cat person disagrees with me. I’m kidding, of course. I love all animals and we currently have two adorable puppies whose pictures you can see here.
I asked the lover the other day how many pet cats we’re allowed to have (the plan is to have a dog, a bunny, and many many cats). He said we’re/I’m allowed to have two, three at the most, and if we have any more than that, they’ll have to stay outside.
HOUSTON, WE HAS PROBLEM. HOOJ HOOJ PROBLEM. You see, I want and will have the following cats, no matter what:
Cat Blanchett aka Oriental Shorthair aka Pink Panther kitteh. According to its description on breedlist.com, OS’s are talkative, playful, acrobatic, and energetic. They also come in red.
Fat kitteh aka Chartreux. Look at that cutie! The lover approves of this cat (he begged me to pick cute ones, saying I know what he likes) and you can apparently adopt them (not buy!) in the US. I want a blue-coated orange-eyed smiley kitty! My Chartreux shall be named Jean-Paul Sartre.
British Shorthair. It’s a cat, not a bear. My British Shorthair will be named Bamba Cat.
Scottish Fold aka Owl Kitteh! They look greedy and the type who’d steal our children’s lunches, but they’re apparently very chill and affectionate cats. As they are extra cute and funny-looking, I will have two earless cats. Maybe name them Lunch and Dinner.
Baby cats aka the Bambino! Like chihuahuas, they’re so ugly (and wrinkly!) that they’re cute. According to the horrified, yet optimistic lover, the upside to having a Bambino named Gary is that they’re hairless (no having to deal with cat hair) and that our kids won’t be scared of shit, having something like that for a family pet. They supposedly keep their kitten-like behavior their whole life.
Peachy cat aka Peachy Pie aka P-Pie (Traditional Siamese). My cat will still be around in the future, of course.
That’s at least six cats right there. Now how do I convince the lover.
June 19, 2008 at 3:48 pm | Filed under ditz drivel
I’ve never been a fan Western fashion (it’d be odd, really, seeing that I’m Asian) and I can only count two instances when I’ve ever worn anything remotely cowgirl-y: my dad’s cowboy hat for a highschool Barn Dance (a yearly dance hosted by the school’s Home Ec and Agriculture Clubs) and a pair of scuffed cowboy boots to work (I was drunk).
I was browsing Cavender’s today because I was curious about the whole Urban Cowgirl style…okay, I admit to watching a country-themed 16th birthday party on TV the other day (will not disclose the name of the show because it is embarrassing to publicly announce I watch such mulch) and found the girls’ outfits cute. Going through the women’s catalog, I found one thing that I would want to wear/I can see myself wearing:
The dress, not the boots. I mean, I still want a pair of red boots, but I was thinking of something I could wear to hang out in corners (with a plump man in a mink coat standing next to me).
I think this child’s cowboy boots are adorable, though.
June 18, 2008 at 10:52 pm | Filed under camwhorage, ditz drivel
Non-fat milk, Almond Clusters, two packs of Yakult, Stik-O (chocolate wafer sticks aka evil), C2 apple green tea, Finetti (chocolate hazelnut spread), kimchi, Goya Black & White, chips (wasabi-flavored potato chips and Cheezit from my childhood!!!) Dewberry strawberry and cream tarts, KitKat white (!!!), the mythical Goya Dark Mint chocolates, milk tea, guavas. Not pictured are the chicken drumsticks (15 pieces) and the Korean barbecue chicken (a kilo).
I had to argue with my dad for my Almond Clusters. He was all “This is Nestle! Don’t get Nestle!” and I was like “But these are Almond Clusters! ALMOND CLUSTERS!!!” I hate living with my folks. I’d trade all that for some beer, maybe a bottle of red wine, coffee, a ream of Marlboro reds, and a line of coke (and the best diet pills). Just a couple more weeks, just a couple more weeks.
June 12, 2008 at 4:43 pm | Filed under ditz drivel
It’s really stupid how much I don’t take care of my laptop. I’ve had my “trusty” Sony VAIO VGN-FS920 for almost two years now (which is sending me into a state of near-panic, as I heard that VAIOs tend to conk out once they hit the two-year mark; in my Veronica Mars’s case— yes, my laptop has a name— that would be October this year) but you’d think I’ve had it since my college Thesis days judging by how battered and grubby she/it is. She’s always dirty (I once cleaned her and my right index finger ended up sore from all the scrubbing), she has scratches all over, and she has stains. Ridiculous, I know.
Lately, I’ve been getting Multi-colored Screens of Death, too (witness my Violet Screen of Death video here), which I am hoping is caused by (almost) overheating (of course, nothing a reboot can’t solve. Ah, Windows) because I sadly lack a lot of “necessary” computer accessories, like a laptop cooler.
I was browsing http://www.xoxide.com today for one (I saw this and it’s not very…pretty) and look what I found!:
A USB POLE DANCER!
Whoa wow wee…a pole dancer for your PC! It make super sexy time all the time at the simple push of a button!
The USB Pole Dancer connects to your computer and receives its power through any open USB port. You can run the Pole Dancer in demo mode for instant gratification, or connect its standard audio jack to your soundcard, MP3 player, etc. and it will dance and flash its stage lights in synch with the music of your choice!
With the USB Pole Dancer you will never have to enter a dirty, seedy little “gentlemen’s club” again. You can save your singles, avoid hepatitis, and enjoy quality adult entertainment in the comfort of your own home or office!
OMG, I LOVE THAT, PLEASE SEND!
June 11, 2008 at 3:57 am | Filed under camwhorage, ditz drivel, the helga manual
Things are going pretty good, if I may say so myself. Despite consuming about four packs of cigarettes over the long weekend, gaining five pounds of belly weight from stress-eating, and developing pains in body parts I never thought were capable of aching— I made it.
That said, I’m totally ready to get geeky. I just need to sort out several things, shake off my insecurities, and prepare myself to go back to wearing what my dad calls “ridiculous shoes”.
Anyway, some pictures:
HAPPY HOMES FOOD <3
THE UNHEALTHIEST AND YUMMIEST FOOD EVERRRRR.
I’VE BEEN EATING HAPPY HOMES FOOD
AND THEIR BREADED PORK CHOPS SINCE I WAS A COLLEGE FRESHMAN.
TAKING A BREAK. SHEAR GENIUS ON TV.
ME, DYING, AND THINKING ABOUT MEDITERRANEAN CRUISES
AND HOW AWESOME IT WOULD BE TO GO ON ONE.
Hee!
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Hi, my name's Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 23. My first socio-political scandal will happen at the age of 35 and will include men, sushi, an African country, and lots of money. My lover is the greatest. 
