Archive for lists
July 7, 2007 at 1:57 am | Filed under college rat, lists, technicolor lover
It finally hit me the other day that I’ve been out of college for a semester now. It feels longer, but only because I threw away my mom’s money by enrolling for a sem and not attending my classes. But let’s not go down that path.
There are a lot of things I miss about my college years, none of which are:
-partying and getting drunk as fuck on a school night and feeling guilty for missing all my classes the next day or
-getting drunk and dropping Stilnox the night before the first day of classes and sleeping through my first class and waking up to frantic messages on my phone from concerned blockmates worrying that I’ve flipped my education the middle finger in lieu of living a doped-up groupie life where I will get impregnated by a deadbeat has-been drummer in a matter of weeks and I’ll have to resort to selling my things on ebay to support my unplanned unborn child or
-getting shitfaced piss drunk on a school night and waking up two days later and feeling rejuvenated and good for a dazed two minutes before realizing that I missed two days worth of college and ‘holy shit, why am I naked and why don’t my room mates care?!’.
In short, here’s a semi-short list of worthwhile things I miss about college.
1. KAFE days. The epitome of crazy. This is when I discovered that reviewing for my Physics pre-lims while drinking San Mig Light mixed with Extra Joss with a straw from an ice bucket will result into my taking my pre-lims drunk and consequently my scoring the highest in the exam which will lead into my being exempted from said subject’s finals. The only one in my class, bitches. Also, I broke the sink in the ladies’ washroom with a bottle of Colt45. I wasn’t drunk, just angst-ridden. KAFE is also where I first and only experienced getting buzzed drinking cough syrup mixed with gin.
2. Starbucks. I know it sounds pretentious and shit, but I assure you: I was never that Miriam girl. You know, the kind who goes to Starbucks with five or eighteen of her friends and only one actually orders from the bar while the rest smoke their Winston lights and take photos of each other with their camera phones?
Starbucks was for late-night studying with a study buddy or two, each of us talking minimally. Armed with our highlighters, stacks of photocopied reading materials, and a “break book”, we’d nurse our coffees until the guard lowered the metal accordion gate. And then we’d stay a little bit more before trudging back to our respective homes, bothered by the thought that we didn’t get to cram in enough studying.
3. My classes. It may not seem so, but Miriam College is actually a pretty awesome college. A bit hard to digest, being sandwiched by UP and Ateneo and being an all-girls school whose population is mainly made up of airheads whom I’ve been told all look the same (I think the exact words were mga chicks ng Miriam pare-pareho itsura). But really, we have a competitive curriculum. Or so I was told by my department head when I was stressing during registration because the classes I needed to take that sem weren’t offered (and they were pre-reqs!) when they said last sem they were going to be offered. I remember being buddies with our school registrar and sharing our frustrations. “Your course keeps changing it’s curriculum every sem!” “I know! ‘Dynamic’, my ass, I need that Seminar on International and Regional Organizations class, damn it and where is eeeet!!!”
There was this one semester I was willing to commit suicide by taking up 29 units. The registrar approved my request, my department head yelled at me. For wanting to commit suicide. “You’re taking International and Globalized Economics this sem!”, she shrieked, waving my list of subjects in the air. “Do you think that’s an easy class?! Are you suicidal?!” I ended up with 21 units and a 4.5 in IGE when the semester ended. PS: 5 is the highest in our grading system.
4. Screwing up all the damn time.
5. Regidorm. A story: once upon a time, I had friends who lived in a room in a house on Regidor Street inside Varsity Hills. We named that house Regidorm. Every vacant period, droves of Miriam girls would walk up to the tricycle stand with one cry: “Manong, sa Regidor!” Trike drivers wondered: “Sorority house ba yan?” No, manong, it’s Regidorm, the house where we smoke our lungs out in the front yard, eat meal after meal ordered from Happy Homes, played old school Family Computer video games (Pooyan!) on some VCD-like console, and just generally had beautiful conversations with friends.
6. Ionamin and going 48 hours without sleep because a comprehensive analysis slash book report of The Communist Manifesto is due on the same day as my 27-hour community service for Theology class is. And I still had four hours to complete. Red Bull Light as my date for four consecutive Fridays because there was always something that required pulling an all-nighter for for my Saturday morning Comparative Foreign Policy class. Nights spent at Seattle’s Best Coffee’s airconditioned smoking area, reading Mark Hardt’s Empire from my ancient Toshiba laptop. Begging my Thesis groupmate for a half-hour break so I can go home to the dorm and take a quick nap. Waking up forty-five minutes later, jumping into the shower, standing under cold water, wrapping myself in a towel afterwards, and then falling asleep with my head leaning against my closet.
In other words, making like a zombie.
7. The standard philosophical and political ramblings that seem to be expected of and even natural to college students, but are just pretentious and can be downright laughable now. LIKE, SERIOUSLY. Retardation, incoherence, and Sheryl Cruz > Jean-Paul Sartre, Amartya Sen, Focault, and figuring out the meaning of life (the answer is 42). But it’s still something to be missed, like, loads cos back then I could, like, actually finish a whole conversation without sounding like a wannabe Valley Girl. Tubular!
That’s my abridged list. And now, a photo for posterity: because if there’s one thing I will never miss, it’s having to wear my uniform four times a week. Do you guys have ANY idea how hot it is under those clothes?
And today’s “This Gave Me The Happies!” conversation is still with Mr Supervisor:
Helga: Ang taba-taba ni -Mr Sup’s name-! *squeezes Mr Supervisor’s tummy*
Him: Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m working on it! *squeezes my tummy back* Nakakahiya, I might not be able to date Helga HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
:blush:
June 26, 2007 at 6:36 am | Filed under camwhorage, lists, the helga manual
I’ve been making lots of lists lately for the sole reason that I am out of stuff to blog about, and have resorted to documenting everything with my handy-dandy camera.
Anyway, because everyone else has come up with their “What’s Weird About Me” list, here’s mine. Bah.
1. When buying tees, I have the habit of getting one kind/style in different colors and even in different sizes. An example would be my (fake!) green Aeropostale top; I have it in medium and large. Also, in navy blue. I blame this on having all the colors of the basic Giordano tee when I was in grade school.
2. I never learned how to type properly. My fingers are all over the keyboard when I type. I never thought this was weird until my co-worker Joie noticed it. “Ang kulit mo mag-type! Pero ang bilis pa rin!”
3. My brain becomes paralyzed when assaulted with texts written in Filipino. It freezes as my eyes try to make sense out of the words. And then the words become one big blur. I can speak, write, and read in Filipino, of course, but with effort and with great stupidity. I once said: At nawalan siya ng eksena. It doesn’t help that my housemates are stupid, too, when it comes to speaking the language.
4. I like doing the dishes, the laundry, and cleaning the bathroom because I like the smell of soap, and the feel of bubbles on my fingers. If all things fail, I think I can make a career out of being a maid in Italy.
5. My favorite punctuation mark would be the comma, and I abuse it like anything. The comma would be followed by the semi-colon, and then the hyphen. This is weird, because I actually have a favorite punctuation mark.
6. I hardly have any sense of authority. That doesn’t mean I don’t know who my superiors are; it’s just that I socialize with them in a way that I would with my friends (I bonk my direct supervisor on his head with his keyboard wrist supporter whenever he coaches me). Those whom I can’t get chummy with, I avoid like the plague.
7. I pronounce Tuesday as Tee-yous-day. A video! Hosted on Photobucket because Youtube sucks.
I know it looks like I have a gap between my two front teeth. I do have a gap, but it’s not really that noticeable. Now stop making fun of me :( It’s not my fault that my momma was a hillbilly.
8. My favorite part on a man’s body would be his armpits. It’s a deal breaker. Unsnuggly armpits = bye bye.
9. I name every inanimate object, whether they be mine, or someone else’s. This may be somewhat normal, as we name things to stress our ownership. But have you ever met my water pitchers Oscar, Bettita, and Nicanor? And my hnagers whose names all start with the letter ‘P’? I thought so.
10. I’m OC when it comes to how my browsers/windows are arranged. If they’re not in order, I have to close everything and re-launch all my programs.
Bah. I can only name ten and they’re all lame.
Also, this is me pretending to be serious at work. But if you look closely, you’ll see that I’ve just started a game of Free Cell.
June 16, 2007 at 12:59 am | Filed under joyful girl, lists
Fridays are so chaka, especially if it coincides with payday. The laws of physics were once again defied during my MRT ride from Cubao to Buendia. I don’t get it. Why are people so gung-ho about spending their salaries immediately?
Surprisingly, the sweaty masses, the long lines, and the horrid Buendia traffic failed to sour my disposition. Or maybe it did but I’m not one to willingly put myself in a bad mood, so I just shrugged it off and creeped out people by staring at them with super wide eyes.
Anyway, in an effort to save the horridness that was Payday Friday (or Super Sweldo Friday), here’s a list of five random things that gives me the happies.
1. MA LING. So I don’t know when I started choosing processed luncheon meat over the healthy goodness that is Century Tuna Lite, but I was most likely to have been drunk and starving when that happened. Man, I’m addicted to that stuff. Whenever I’m at the supermarket and find myself in the canned goods aisle, I put my hands to my cheeks (Home Alone-style) and go “Maaaa-liiiiiiiiing!” And there are Ma Ling hotdogs now!
2. STUPID SHOPPING. Sure, nothing makes me happier than buying new stuff. But nothing makes me happiest than buying stupid stuff. It’s so bad, really. A scene from Friday morning:
Allah and Helga are crossing Aurora to get to Katipunan after breakfast at Tapsi ni Vivian.
Allah: blah blah blah blah blah
Helga, who is half-listening, sees a guy peddling plastic wares cross their path: Dude, let’s buy a basin.
Allah: blah blah blah blah
Allah, who sees guy peddling plastic wares: blah blah— oh look, let’s buy a pail.
3. INSIDE JOKES. The short version of it would be ‘crazy inside jokes that only crazy people understand.’ The long version would be ‘Johnny Walker. Jose Cuervo. Jack Daniels. Sheryl Cruz.’
4. CHEATING THE GROCERY LIST. I love a well-stocked fridge and well-stocked kitchen cabinets. Obviously, Allah and I did the groceries this morning. Armed with a grocery list each and the motto “Whoever deviates from her list is panget”, we found ourselves roaming the aisles of our neighborhood Rustan’s Fresh FOR A PEN. So we could add stuff to our lists. “I swear! ‘Lion bedroom slippers’ was in my list! I didn’t cheat!”
5. RICE. I’ve been eating a lot lately and if I’m going to stuff my face with food on a thrice-a-day daily basis, I might as well eat something I like. Right? And rice gives color to my world, almost the same way that alcohol does. Another scene from Friday morning, again, with Allah:
Allah and Helga are standing in front of the gelatin/jello shelf in Rustan’s.
Helga: I wanna buy jello. Should we buy jello?
Allah: Yeah, why not? Do you know how to make jello?
Helga: Yup. But jello’s not filling. Should we buy jello?
Allah: Jello’s not filling?!
Helga: Ah. You know what we should eat with jello to make it filling?
Allah: What?
Helga: Rice.
Allah: Putangina, Helga.
Okay, back to work!
May 25, 2007 at 3:41 am | Filed under lists
1. Wearing super low-rise jeans and a shirt that rides up my tummy every time I move. I can see that mole.
2. Bought a pink stripey retro-ish wraparound dress to wear this Saturday to Eight’s christening. I want turquoise heels to go with it, but I don’t have time to shop. For this dress, I walked from the Ayala Avenue MRT station to PeopeSupport Center. Came in eleven minutes late for work.
3. LOLKITTY. KITTYSMASH. SPAMCAT. Stealz keeps me a bit sane at work. Yayz.
4. Mr Supervisor keeps on touching my shoulder. He really wants to make utang. It makes me giddy. He is so cute in his Crocs. Sad, no Zukina this Saturday after my shift, as I will be going straight to Quezon.
5. Thinking of ways to fill up my weekends. Thinking of a way to spend my post-birthday weekend.
She’s shallow like the shoreline during low tide
But my hopes are not quite as high
Can‘t spot her faults but she spotted mine
She left me for herself
Considering I would too
-Short, Fast, And Loud, Fall Out Boy
Hi, my name's Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 23. My first socio-political scandal will happen at the age of 35 and will include men, sushi, an African country, and lots of money. My lover is the greatest. 
