Archive for mr wonderful
May 24, 2008 at 3:07 pm | Filed under mr wonderful, the helga manual
Lover, on my last entry and how a bunch of you commented on how hot my dad is/was: one day, i would just like half the compliments from our daughter’s friends that your dad gets. Sheesh.
Judging by how hot my boyfriend is and how well he’s aged, I told him he’s likely to receive such comments. I doubt, though, that I’d take nicely to our daughter’s friends calling him a DILF (because I am possessive like that). This is, of course, assuming that our daughter would be a blogger at age 12 (god knows what she has to blog about, though, at that age) and I’d be the cool mom who reads her blog but isn’t cool enough to approve of 12-year olds knowing what DILF stands for.
Several times in the past, lover and I have talked about what our daughters would be like, going as far as mapping out their lives. We’d have two: one would be named Asia (after a certain feature of mine) and the other would be named Tonette (a name I do not approve of and she will, therefore, lead a very tragic life).
Our sample babies (Tonette is obviously the ugly one):
Asia will grow up to be an exotic dancer while Tonette will most likely end up living the high life (in dark alleyways, no less). Both will have— to quote their father— “nice lips, gorgeous eyes, nice eyebrows, and eating disorders” and will be “asking for non-fat milk” because “their mother will be singing lullabies about staying thin.” Playtime would consist of me teaching them to hop, meow, and quack.
(I hope none of you are taking this seriously.)
I always joke about how I’d probably end up married (or not even) with 3 kids all belonging to different fathers, but really, that’s just a defense mechanism of mine because most of the time, I fear that I’m going to end up like one of my mom’s sisters— she’s single, in her late 30s, and childless. That’s a scary thought, especially for someone who sees motherhood (and the things that come with it in a perfect, domesticated world: a pet dog, a newspaper subscription, making breakfast for your family, apples in brown paper bags, ironing your husband’s work shirts, long afternoon’s doing the laundry, weekend tennis games etc etc) as normalcy. A scarier thought, though, is knowing that I could end up just like that and I’d be okay with it. It makes me wonder how I have come to want such a life. *insert HUHLOLZ here*
Anyway, I’m pretty sure that when lover and I have actual non-catbunny/bunnycat daughters, we’d make sure to either keep them out of, or in drug rehab.
May 12, 2008 at 4:13 pm | Filed under 23 for 23, mr wonderful
Because I am apparently an awesome girlfriend and because it is my birthday month, lover felt the need to spoil me some more by getting me David and Goliath shirts.
The good thing is: he’s getting me two.
The bad thing is: I want everything in their catalog. Yes, even the men’s shirts.
As if life as a 22-year old unemployed blogger isn’t hard enough. Sigh.
Anyway, lover and I already have one picked out:
We were both on the David and Goliath website the other day, browsing the women’s catalog, trying to decide on another design for me. Being the indecisive person that I am, and because David and Goliath shirts are serious bizniz, I told him I needed to sleep on it.
But now I need your help in narrowing down my choices. There’s nothing from the Little Losers series that I’d wear, so if any of you were planning on suggesting Miss BJ, Miss Lush, Miss Good Time, Miss Boobjob or Miss Trophy Wife, no thanks, teehee.
My choices are after the cut. I really like 2 & 4 (I only have one orange shirt and it’s so old and worn out). What about you?
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May 1, 2008 at 7:07 pm | Filed under camwhorage, ditz drivel, mr wonderful
As most of you already know (because the very day I got it, I messaged half of the people on my YM list), I was recently given a Flickr PRO account by a very awesome, very generous, and very sexy person (also known as my lover). Now I’m no photographer and I grudgingly make do with my stupid piece-of-shit point-and-shoot Sony Cybershot and Photoshop to come up with half-decent photos (I’m sorry, I take photos not pictures; same way that I watch films, not movies. Now HUHLOLZ with me, please). Amazingly enough I’ve been told (by lover and my mom) that I have an eye for photography and that I take nice photos (again, said by lover and my mom).
Lover even created another YM handle to “anonymously” message me (under the username t****ekicks) to say this:
t****ekicks: some nice pictures on you flickr. you should upgrade to a dSLR soon.
Helga: I know, haha. Thank you =)
(t****ekicks: Also, nice tits. Your face isn’t so bad but your mouth is so annoying, I feel the need to bitchslap it. Hard. With my penis.)
MY POINT-AND-SHOOT CAMERA. LOHOHOLZ I’M SO WITTEH!
But this entry isn’t about how I truly need to get rid of my POSPOS cam and get myself a snazzy dSLR (because really, I don’t want to bully an already stressed, very awesome, very generous, and very sexy person also known as my lover and pressure him into doing something he probably only meant half-heartedly by publishing in my blog that he plans on getting me one. One = dSLR). No siree.
I was chatting with Fatima Camiloza today (you can read her interview with Comicology here) and she happened to be on my Flickr account (not surprisingly, as I have been pimping it non-stop the past week). This is what she had to say:
Fatima camiloza: I hate these one angle girls. I want to punch them in the face lol
Fatima camiloza: I love how your pics have such variety
So I may not be a photographer but I sure am a camwhore (and a pretty damn good one, except when other people are taking my pictur— I mean, photos. Somehow, I always end up looking like a tool when I’m not the one doing the snapping). Give me five minutes with a camera and I’ll take about 200+ pictur— I mean, photos. Of myself. And maybe myself with a few random objects and someone else’s elbow.
Now because I am such an awesome awesome camwhore (it’s also probably the only thing in my life I’m good at, besides giving head), I’m here to give you a few quick and basic DON’T EVER DO THAT!s in camwhoring.
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April 16, 2008 at 5:46 am | Filed under Y!M conversations, camwhorage, mr wonderful
Helga: Im a kitty!
Helga: http://www.flickr.com/photos/helga/
Roel: :))
Roel: boardedd?
Helga: I took pictures for Lover lol
Helga: Its how we keep the relationship alive
Helga: I pretend to be a cat
Helga: He pretends his girlfriend is normal
What I did today, instead of working on the five design plates due for my crash course on creative conceptualization tomorrow:
I don’t eat fishies or Whiskas, though. Meow.
(Yes yes, I know it looks like somebody came all over me. Dirty mirror shots = fail.)
March 30, 2008 at 11:54 pm | Filed under lists, mr wonderful, the helga manual
It’s been a rough week for lover and me (a-ha, quick grammar lesson I picked up from Board X! When using “___ and me” or “___ and I”, the rule is, the “me” or “I” should make sense when the other person— represented by the blank— is removed), but I got over it and ended the week with a bang. By “a bang”, I, of course, mean A Much Needed Drink (Or Two. Or Three. Oh Who Am I Kidding, I Had Too Many).
Unfortunately, things are yet to get better for lover and it pains (whatta word) me that all I can do is show him my boobies and have goofy LOLcat cybersex with him to give him his happies. BAH. This morning, I kinda-drunk international-dialed him and this wouldn’t be a big deal and wouldn’t even merit a sentence in this blog had it not been the first time I heard his voice in almost two months (so sexeh, hiz voice!). It’s tough, folks, but I’m managing.
Over a year ago, Chris Brogan posted a list of 100 blog topics “I hope YOU write about”. It’s a long ass list and most of the topics are beyond my scope of interest (social media? Branding? Uh…blogging? What is this “blogging” thing you speak of?), so I do not hope to cover all 100 topics. I’ll definitely keep this in mind for days when I am in need of blog fodder.
Today’s blog topic is very random, as it is a very random Sunday. By the way, what’s YOUR favorite Alicia Keys song? Here’s ours:
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ALICIA KEYS SONG!
Helga: On The Wings of Love!
Allah: Wind Beneath My Wings!
Drew: Got To Believe In Magic!
Today, I give you my five rules for naming (my) kids (don’t worry, these rules have yet to be applied outside a Sims 2 setting).
1. Merging the dad’s and mom’s names is just wrong, gaudy, and totally not clever. In highschool, I had an insane crush on a guy named Rodmyr. Can you guess his folks’s names?
2. Not really a rule, but more like a pre-caution: have a name ready and make sure the nurse on duty is writing down the correct name. A former co-worker of mine is named Baby Regina. I’ve heard of a dude named Baby Boy.
3. The name has to be a…well, a full (aka REAL) name and not a nickname. I once met a girl named just Fe (and I no longer recall her last name, but it was pretty short, too. Like, three letters short), a just Dondy, a just Bob, and a just Mafe. First thing that came to mind: “Where’s the rest of your name?” How lazy were their parents? My pets have longer names.
4. Do not get creative with the spelling. Call me traditional, but I don’t see the need to be fucking around with otherwise okay-ly spelled names. Keeyauh? Alyxandreea? Marijayne? Qchristopher? Ccamryn?
5. Do not be trendy or “clever” when it comes to naming your kid. “Heaven” was bad enough a name. “Nevaeh” is punishment (of course, this is just preference. If you find those names cute…um). I also fail to grasp the logic behind names with apostrophes. Say’Yonce? Ramse’s? Asia’h? Da’nyelle? Makena’lei? W’H'Y’???
(All names mentioned in #4 and #5 can be found here. Just dig around a bit.)
What are your rules for naming (your) kids?
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Hi, my name's Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 23. My first socio-political scandal will happen at the age of 35 and will include men, sushi, an African country, and lots of money. My lover is the greatest. 
