A Conversation I Had With the Boyfriend Last Week

May 24, 2010 at 9:40 pm | Filed under mr wonderful, the helga manual

Me: Oh. I need you to listen to Hanson songs cos my next tat is gonna be a line from one of their songs
Him: Ergh. Fine.
Me: Yup. So listen listen listen. They have … four studio albums: Middle of Nowhere, This Time Around, Underneath, The Walk. + a bunch of other songs
Him: I gotta stare at that shit the rest of my life? Really?
Me: WHY WONT YOU LOVE HANSON. WHY.
Him: It’s not like those fools write literature or spout compelling quotes that will empower me through the dark dayz of my lyf
Me: BUT THEY EMPOWERED ME WHEN I WAS AN AWKWARD SMALL TOWN GIRL DEALING WITH TROUBLED TIMES ETC SO I WIN
Him: Now I gotta fuckin carress your wrist with my sweet soft lips and fucken come across ‘mmmbob’

I’m not certain if I’ll be able to get my second tattoo in time for my birthday (the 31st) but I’ve already decided on what to get. I spent the afternoon checking out other Hanson fans’ tattoos (there are a good number out there and some of them aren’t so well-made =/) to get an idea of what not to get. I’m definitely avoiding the common ones (the Hanson symbol, headphones from Underneath, barcode scanners (wait, wut), MMMBop, Ngi Ne Themba, and the walking silhouettes from The Walk) and the freaky ones (their faces).

I can’t wait.

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This Hanson Fandom

May 21, 2010 at 4:54 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, the helga manual

I miss the old Hanson, when they wrote songs about the kind of girl I wanted to grow up to be. Ya know, the artsy, carefree type who wears cowboy hats and likes riding in cars with the top or windows down, feet up on the dash, flowers in her hair and a Starbucks latte by her side; totally chill yet very urban etc etc; the kinda girl someone would write songs about. Or at least dedicate a cheesy song on karaoke to.

Now they’re all pious and stuff, singing about the state of the world, wanting to fix the world, problems in Africa, life, and being decent human beings. I mean, that’s cool and all and I totally support them (the way you would support your 9-year old son who suddenly wants ballet lessons, ya know? Like, I’d rather you take up baseball or taekwondo but whatever makes you happy, kid, I fully support you and I love you), but damnit, I want music that makes me giddy and makes my girly heart flutter! Songs I can totally emote to in the privacy of my bedroom, that kinda thing. Screw maturity, I want my love songs!

I’m very excited for the new album. I’ve asked the boyfriend to get me the Deluxe Package because neither of us can afford or are truly willing to shell out $250 and $800 for the Gold or Platinum Package (the PP is sold out, by the way o_0). I hope it’s nothing like The Walk or else I’d rather go to church or make out with security cameras (wut). Maybe. No, not really.

Fan4Evr.

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Countdown to the Big Two-Five, I Guess

May 5, 2010 at 6:23 pm | Filed under lists, photos, the helga manual

In less than a month (twenty-six days, to be exact), I turn 25. I must admit: it’s a little frightening. For reasons I no longer remember that are too stupid and embarrassing to share, I used to look forward to turning a year older. …All right all right, I will tell you why: once upon a time (meaning, back in college aka when I didn’t know better), there was this guy. He was maybe five or six years my senior and— not to bore you with old drama— he made me feel inadequate for being young(er). That whole thing with guy didn’t work out (obviously and thank gawd) and now I am in a *sparkle* relationship *sparkle* with a guy who is twelve years older than me and he makes me feel like the most special kitty in the world.

SO I AM TURNING 25 and I am feeling… the age. At 25, I can no longer join beauty contests (I’m not saying that I can or will) or audition for certain things (last week, I found myself outside a band rehearsal studio at Annapolis in Cubao. There was a sign looking for female band members within the 18-24 age range) or qualify for certain jobs (uh, receptionist? Secretary? Oh, what do I know). These are the unimportant things that send me into little fits of internal panic. How very unnecessary.

Now as much as I would like to expound on this fear and talk about my feelings! my emotions! mah h0pez & mah dreamz!, I’d rather take the ditzy route and list down a bunch of crap I feel I would need “to give meaning to my 25 years of existence” aka STUFF HELGA WANTS (and will probably get for herself) FOR HER BIRTHDAY. No, lots of beer and lots of vodka are not in the list; what am I, in high school?

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I Would Like To Work Out Tonight, But I’m A Little Hungover

April 22, 2010 at 5:57 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, photos, the helga manual

I have a new resolution and I am quite excited to start: I am going to eat fruit everyday.

In my imagination, I am at least 5 foot 4 (with heels, of course) and a perpetual hundred and ten pounds (even after the holidays!). I have pink and white roller skates and a bicycle with a bell and I happily roll around my neighborhood every afternoon, while or a little before the sun sets. I have enough hours in the day for work, for reading, for people, and for rolling.

In my imagination, the boyfriend and I live with a cat. Every charmed life needs a cat. This cat is as big as a month-old human baby and his name is Horatio but everyone calls him Baby.

In my imagination, I prefer tea over coffee and have a proper tea set like every proper lady should. I have an oven and every hungover Sunday afternoon is spent baking. I know how to make a mean cheesecake. In my imagination.

But I can’t be/do/have those few simple things, not right now, so I resolve to eat fruit everyday.

I also bought a corset.

I need a colon cleanse, badly.

This is my friend, Tin.

We are neighbors, but not the kind of I’m going to your place to watch TV and hang out and drink soda on a sweltering summer afternoon neighbors. Her dad is a kagawad. Until today, he was under the impression that Tin and I were a couple.

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Hipster Glasses “Update” (LOL) and a List of Things I Will Never Regret

April 14, 2010 at 7:16 pm | Filed under lists, photos, the helga manual

“Please don’t turn into a hipster,” he said. “Your hiphophead boyfriend won’t be able to handle it.”

He doesn’t have to worry but you have to admit, I make a pretty wicked cute hipsterling (a baby hipster? A hipster n00b?):

(I’m never gonna have not red hair ever again. Blonde is an exception.)

Moving on: I just got back from a too-short vacation! Three days and two nights (plus the third night spent on the road, very much intoxicated) at the beach getting my drunk on. It was fantastic.

Anyway (awkward transition between blog topics is awkward), here’s a list of things I will never regret doing (someone needs four blog entries in two days and that someone is me, hurray!):

1) Dyeing my hair red.
2) Having that one last hotdog.
3) Drinking water before sleeping.
4) Peeing before leaving the house.
5) Being helpful to someone I don’t particularly like.
6) Taking public transportation to work instead of cabbing it.
7) Getting an insurance quote.
8) Writing things down.
9) Taking too many photos (I will whine about all the sorting and editing I’ll have to do but y’all know I love it).
10) Working out.
11) Giving my mom a hug!
12) Extra rice (like #9, I’ll whine about it but deep inside, I’m all “GIVE ME MORE CARBS!”).
13) Stopping after the fourth bottle of beer.
14) Waking up early/sleeping early.

What about you d00dz? What are things you don’t regret doing?

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