Archive for the internets
March 19, 2010 at 9:33 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, the internets
I don’t often check my Google Analytics’s keywords data (aka the stuff you googled to find me/the stuff you googled to intentionally or unintentionally land here) because it makes me slightly uncomfortable. My site’s top five keywords have always been the following: helga weber, ditz revolution, blog ditz, http://blog.ditz-revolution.net, and www.iyotan.filipina.com (uh, good luck with that, guys). The majority of the other keywords are on stuff also related to me. There’s no surprise there, really, but it just kinda creeps me out. People are nosy and they leave me wondering why the heck they want to know all these specific things about me.
A few examples:
- helga scent
- helga weber hair dye
- anawangin cove helga weber
- helga weber copycat (and copying helga weber)
- does helga weber have a macbook
- helga weber boyfriend
- helga weber half sister
- helga weber livejournal
- helga weber loafers
- helga weber starbucks highlighter
- casting benetton helga weber (if this is about the It’s My Time Contest— I didn’t join)
And then there’s a bunch whole lot of perverted keywords, some of which make me giggle. There are the funny ones, of course. Here are a few:
- beautiful filipina women with ugly boyfriends pictures
- filipina matrona online site
- how to use crest whitestrips if my tooth is dead (aww, this makes me sad)
- how to whiten your skin through condense milk & calamansi (wouldn’t you rather nom on the condensed milk and not waste it?!)
- mean ass filipina
- matrona filipina
- push help squeeze through “butt got stuck”
- eczema treatment (lolz)
- trannies call center
- westside hand sign pictures
- to hail a cab
And to answer a few questions:
is there any public transport going to emerald ave?
Yes. ph-commute.com is a very helpful site for the Filipino who takes public transportation.
is crest whitestrip available at mercury drug store or watson?
Try those PX goods stores, ebay.ph, or Multiply shops.
why are philippinas so cheap and slutty?
Because you’re ugly, white, and have money =(
January 26, 2010 at 6:21 pm | Filed under the internets
I was looking for something about night creams in my Tumblr archives and came across this. I should’ve posted this here a long time ago. Originally from here.
1. I wish I had an Eyedropper to capture the color of your eyes.
2. Has anybody ever told you that your teeth have perfect kerning?
3. If you were a logo, it would be for a really premium brand.
4. I’m just like a global nav; I love to be on top.
5. Come back to my place and I’ll show you a really naughty way to fill up some negative space.
6. Would you like to lorem ipsum dolor sit on my lap?
7. If I went to a stock photography site and typed in the keyword: “sexy”, I bet there’d be a picture of you.
8. I couldn’t help but notice your eye path went right to my smudge stick.
9. First I think I’ll stroke your curve, then I’d like to fill you.
10. Is that Content Aware Scaling or are you just happy to see me?
11. You look perfectly put together. Do you display this well in IE?
12. I like my fonts sans-serif, and you sans-pants.
13. You know the hotkey to my Magic Wand Tool
14. I dig your look and feel.
15. If you like what you see now, wait’ll you look below the fold.
16. Let’s “Skip Intro” and just go find a hotel room right now.
17. When I serve you breakfast in bed tomorrow, would you like your coffee with cream and sugar, or do you prefer it #000000?
18. Do you want to touch my Bézier curves?
19. What if I told you the fly on my troussers opens quicker than a 500k JPEG file?
20. Mind if I take you for a usability test?
January 20, 2010 at 3:04 pm | Filed under events, the internets
Are you a Globe Tattoo user? Good for you because you have a chance to get free tickets to see The Killers live in Manila this January! Here’s how (from the Globe Tattoo blog):
The promo started January 15, 2010 and ends January 28, 2010. Non-Globe Tattoo users can still buy a broadband stick and join =p
1. Take a picture of yourself with a Globe Tattoo Broadband stick.
2. Post it on the wall of the Globe Tattoo fan page.
3. The top 95 most-”liked” photos will get one (1) ticket each!
4. At 9PM, of January 28, 2010, the contest cuts off. We will no longer accept submissions or count the “likes” past January 28, 2010 at 9PM.
5. We will announce the names of the winners on this blog on the evening of January 28, 2010.
6. Winners must confirm by texting their names and contact details (landline number, cellphone number) to 0927-3890762.
7. Winners can claim their tickets on January 29, 2010 at 4th Floor, Globe Telecom Tower 2, Pioneer St., Mandaluyong City. Look for any Digital Marketing representative. Or at the concerts grounds, January 31st. Again, just look for Globe representatives.
8. Unclaimed/unconfirmed tickets will be given away in another contest on January 30, 2010.
9. In case there’s a tie, the pic that was submitted earlier will get the ticket.
Visit the Globe Tattoo blog for more details.
So many upcoming events, best to invest in zit creams for those late nights!
December 22, 2009 at 4:14 pm | Filed under camwhorage, joyful girl, the internets
Three hundred fifty five days into my Project 365 and two cameras later, I finally have a dSLR.
About two weeks ago, I joined fizzer.ph’s first/Twilight contest: take a Twilight-themed picture of yourself, make it your primary photo on fizzer, and get friends to vote for your photo. Up for grabs was a Canon 450D + kit lens.
I was so in.
The photo I submitted:
You can’t see it cos it’s small but I’m actually ~*~sparkling~*~ heh. I dusted my face with some shimmery bronzer I’ve had for ages (good thing I didn’t throw it out).
With about 12 days left in the competition, I wasted no time campaigning for myself. I got a little over 400 stars in less than 24 hours! I had to start over, though, as my initial photo needed some editing but I got those votes back (and more!).
To everyone who signed up and voted for me, to everyone who helped spread the word, to everyone who got their friends to vote for me: I am very very thankful. You d00dz have no idea how much I appreciate it. I am a very giddy girl now hrhrhrhr. I can’t wait for Wednesday night (start of the holidays, end of my job search LOLJK) so I can finally sit down and spend some quality time with Baby Girl. I want and need to learn everything about her!
(Yes, I name my things. Yes, my 450D’s name is Baby Girl. My Powershot Pro1 is named Bad Boy and the boyfriend’s dSLR is named Big Boy. They both needed a little sister.)
Anyway, photos!:
I look like a gremlin. Christian from fizzer handing me the box!:
Baby Girl sitting on my office desk:
IMG 0001:
Today’s photo is a cliche:
Thank you, everyone (♥♥♥♥♥♥♥) and thank you, fizzer!
December 16, 2009 at 7:15 pm | Filed under the internets
Win a Nikon D3000 DSLR. You could take pretty sweet photos of north myrtle beach hotels with a badass camera like that. From Globe Tattoo’s blog:
They say a picture says a thousand words, and this, my friends, is your chance to spew thousands upon thousands about the 2010 national elections is no exception. There’s no better way for others see your point of view than to take a snapshot of what you think should be changed, and what issues are important to you on the road to the elections.
Are you up for the challenge? Here are the contest mechanics:
1. Take a photo using your camera phone of any object/event/person that you think encapsulates the theme: “National Issues facing the 2010 Elections.”
2. Without any post-processing (no editing or image enhancements), upload your photo to Pixlink by sending your photo as a MMS. To send your photo, compose a multi-media message, and attach the photo together with the phrase MMS KUHAMO. Send the MMS to 2988. (P2.50 per MMS upload.)
3. The contest runs from December 9, 2009 to March 9, 2010, and is available to all Globe Prepaid and Postpaid subscribers.
Each entry gets a chance to win a Nikon D3000 DSLR or a Nokia 6300 Camera Phone, and a scholarship to a Photography course at the STI Center of Arts.
Click here to see all the details and check out some of the shots.
“Kuha Mo” is a new campaign by Globe and STI to help people understand the issues confronted by the Filipino voter on the road to 2010. It may be a picture of hunger, poverty, corruption, or any issue YOU think is relevant. It may also be an image of family, education, and volunteerism. All we need from you is a snapshot of what you think are the issues we should face and address through the 2010 national elections.
Want to share your views on how to change the country for the better? Take your pictures, and upload them now!
Fun stuff!
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Hi, my name's Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 24. My first socio-political scandal will happen at the age of 35 and will include men, sushi, an African country, and lots of money. My lover is the greatest. 
