Category Archive the internets

A Few Links, Here and There

From The New York Times’s The Minimalist: Summer Express: 101 Simple Meals Ready in 10 Minutes or Less. I’m not much of a cook so this is a really nice read for me. Quick, easy, and healthy meals.

Asylum’s Smart Women Are Bigger Drinkers. Ha ha ha. Hear that, dad? Mom? Boyfriend? I’m kidding, I’m not entirely sold on this new study/phenomenon.

There are two explanations the researchers offered for this phenomenon. One is that brainy women often delay motherhood, giving them more time to develop a social life based on alcohol consumption; the other is that higher-achieving females are more likely to work in male-dominated fields, which have cultures that are heavy on drinking.

Asylum’s You Got Us, Internet— Our April Fools’ Day Web Prank Roundup. Just a list of e-tomfoolery that took place last Tuesday. Tuesday was a holiday here and I spent most of it offline (in my couch watching CSI, what else is new?) so I missed out on the fun. Did any of you fall for any internet pranks?

J’s list of Best Fashion Trends for Summer 2010: hot pants, wedges, blazers, and florals. Just this morning, I cut up an old pair of jeans and turned it into a pair of super short shorts. I’ve also given my pumps a rest in favor of wedges (much easier to walk in). Florals (especially granny florals) are already a favorite. Unfortunately, it’s too hot in the Philippines for blazers (or clothes, for that matter). I don’t know why I’m saying all this haha.

What is the best acne cream? LOLOLOLOLOL. The summer heat is doing funny stuff to my skin, making it super oily (I have normal skin). I keep breaking out! I bought a bar of acne soap yesterday (Defensil. I picked it out because they used the Diavlo typeface on the packaging). I hope it takes care of my forehead zits.

Sleeptrip’s 300 Love Letters. The entire Sleeptrip site, really. Not gonna lie: it appeals to a sentimental side of me.

How Did You Get Here?

I don’t often check my Google Analytics’s keywords data (aka the stuff you googled to find me/the stuff you googled to intentionally or unintentionally land here) because it makes me slightly uncomfortable. My site’s top five keywords have always been the following: helga weber, ditz revolution, blog ditz,, and (uh, good luck with that, guys). The majority of the other keywords are on stuff also related to me. There’s no surprise there, really, but it just kinda creeps me out. People are nosy and they leave me wondering why the heck they want to know all these specific things about me.

A few examples:

  • helga scent
  • helga weber hair dye
  • anawangin cove helga weber
  • helga weber copycat (and copying helga weber)
  • does helga weber have a macbook
  • helga weber boyfriend
  • helga weber half sister
  • helga weber livejournal
  • helga weber loafers
  • helga weber starbucks highlighter
  • casting benetton helga weber (if this is about the It’s My Time Contest— I didn’t join)

And then there’s a bunch whole lot of perverted keywords, some of which make me giggle. There are the funny ones, of course. Here are a few:

  • beautiful filipina women with ugly boyfriends pictures
  • filipina matrona online site
  • how to use crest whitestrips if my tooth is dead (aww, this makes me sad)
  • how to whiten your skin through condense milk & calamansi (wouldn’t you rather nom on the condensed milk and not waste it?!)
  • mean ass filipina
  • matrona filipina
  • push help squeeze through “butt got stuck”
  • eczema treatment (lolz)
  • trannies call center
  • westside hand sign pictures
  • to hail a cab

And to answer a few questions:

is there any public transport going to emerald ave?
Yes. is a very helpful site for the Filipino who takes public transportation.

is crest whitestrip available at mercury drug store or watson?
Try those PX goods stores,, or Multiply shops.

why are philippinas so cheap and slutty?
Because you’re ugly, white, and have money =(

That Part Where Someone Uses My Face and Not Just My Photos

Seeing that my Flickr/Project365 gained a little popularity, I’m used to blogs (such as TechCrunch OMFG) using my photos to go with their entries/articles. I don’t mind as I like sharing and the attention (plus, they always link back to my Flickr page). Some days ago, though, Abbie sent me a Twitter direct message saying that she got a Facebook friend request from a certain “Rhianne Alvarez” who uncannily looked a lot like me. Perhaps because she was using my photo.

Helga Weber poser

You could say that being complacent is one of my flaws because instead of freaking out (or something), waging a futile e-war with someone whose account I don’t even have full access to, and adding an ugly ass watermark to all my photos (I have so many issues with that), I decided to have a good giggle over it and “move on”. By “move on”, I mean checking up on Rhianne’s profile everyday to see what else she does.


Helga Weber poser

Holeh moleh, she changed her name and her photo! But it’s still a photo of me! A very unflattering one, too, with a Third World inidoro in the background (that was intentional).

This time, I was a liiiitle creeped out. Upon gaining access to her account, I find out her real name (I assume so because that was the email address she listed) and see that she’s using a bunch of my photos, too!

Helga Weber poser

Helga Weber poser

I am strangely flattered, really. Today, someone’s online persona; tomorrow, the world. Moohrhrhrhrhrhr.

Dear Mister Internet,

For Christmas, I would like to be crowned the new queen of /b/. I fear that I am just not speshul enough.

Sad&<3broken / (///_T) & </3,

Twitter: Serious Business Part 2

Remind me next time to double check everything I read on Chuva’s blog (not that I’m a reader, not that I’m planning on being a reader) because dang, she got it wrong:

Chuvaness got it wrong

Ch-ch-check it out:


My point is this: whether or not her underlings and friends continue campaigning for Divasoria/Grace (that may eventually lead to her/their fervent wish coming true), it has been proven (lol) that the Chuvaness Army (you know, those folks who start throwing personal attacks once they feel threatened) can be beaten. By— wait for itsome seemingly unknown’s (at least to them, most her readers are like “huh huh, who’s Helga huh huh”) buttcrack! And by my friends, too, of course. Oh, how I love my friends.

Truthfully, though, my friends did more work and were more effective than that buttcrack photo ;)

Screencap taken at 8pm tonight:

Helga pwns Divasoria

Tweeterwall may not ~crown~ me as Miss Twitter Philippines (darnit, and that was validation I was looking for!) but daaaaaamn, my buttcrack sure feels good.

No Twitter or Facebook accounts were deleted during this whole episode of internet dramedy. Oh wait! There were!

Flickr-Plurk-Twitter-Inferno-FAD-TMB Army FTW.

Now let’s see how long this drama lasts. You gotta admit, I sure know how to get people’s tongues wagging.

Twitter: Serious Business

Here’s what’s up: a little over a week ago, @TweeterWall sent me a message saying that someone had added me to a Miss Twitter Wall. Curiously, I clicked on the link and saw that I had been nominated to be in the running for “the Best Ms Twitter” in my country (the Philippines). Amused, I clicked on the plus sign, showed the link to my boyfriend, and closed the tab.

Of course, the boyfriend had to tell our friends to vote for me. That’s what boyfriends do (then, my friends *heart!* voted for me and asked their friends to do the same. That’s what friends do). He even prompted me to write this darn blog entry about it (nevermind that my feed subscribers dropped from 252 to 50).

To make a long story short: this whole voting thing ends at 8PM MNL time (or 12:00 GMT). Allow me to whore myself: cast your vote FOR ME, OF COURSE, HERE. There is no need to register, it’s fast and easy, and you can vote once every twenty minutes. I’m currently number 2, up against @divasoria, who is being back by the Chuvaness army. Me? I’m backed up by all the attention and votes my buttcrack can get me!

As these things go, drama is inevitable (everyone has to have an opinion, it’s so cute)— the usual getting on my case for showing some nudity, getting on my case because OMIGOD, I’m whoring myself for votes I must be desperate!!!!!!! etc etc. Seriously. Go choke on my dick, plz.

I just love the internets!

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