AND IN THIS CORNER, WE HAVE!

March 28, 2007 at 12:23 am | Filed under ditz drivel, technicolor lover, the internets

Mikey has challenged me to a drinkoff.

Too lazy to click the link? You suck Cambodian smelly garbage man balls.

Helga: You and me. Anywhere in Ortigas. First one who throws up(Or loses all sense of inhibition and proceeds to do something silly) loses. What say you? *Slaps Helga with a leather glove*

In other news, D is bugging me for a rebooty. It’s either I’m that good, or his girlfriend really just sucks.

Comments (17)

L.A. NIGHTS.

March 11, 2007 at 10:38 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, joyful girl, the internets

So I, like, died last night. Another awesome Saturday. Classic Helga: emptying out Sanya’s medicine jar on to the kitchen table and popping anything in sight. Or maybe just a few pills. And then Adrian gave me half a Stilnox. So yeaaaaaah, Misha had to carry me to the guest room cos I passed out in the living room. Good times!

Also, because I am just plain awesome like that, my right ankle is fat. On my way out Sanya’s kitchen, I missed a step and fell. Hard. Nah, not really. But it did hurt. Like how a princess would feel when she finds out Prince Charming has been making out with her, I don’t know, apple picker, and is therefore gay. So it was painful and I wasn’t even drunk yet. I swear I wasn’t, because if I were, I would’ve dropped the bottles of vodka and margarita and the ice tray I was carrying BUT I DIDN’T. So there.

Nobody saw me fall, which was good. I had to go back and sit in the kitchen for a while because I was seriously about to cry. Sanya thought I was talking to myself lololol. Anyway, now I have a swollen ankle and a little limp. And I start working tomorrow. Nice.

Ice’s Cup B and Klassy’s Pall Malls. D.O.P.!

So obviously I had fun. I supposedly owe this guy a date because we forced him and his friend to kiss. Brokeback sexyback mask! And then there were body shots. And then strip-stream-of-consciousness, which could be the best party game to play when you’re stoned or drunk or both. Especially when you’re surrounded by hotness.

Again: Happy 21st, Summer Fling, I love you! I’m gay for you!

And this got me laughing out loud. Like Jesus fuckin’ Christ HAHAHAHA loud.

Official languages: La Salle Taft Coñospeak, Jungle talk, Tagaylog, Salitang-kalye, Squatter, Tadbaliks, Gay Lingo Chuva Chenes, Haler

Fierce.

Ex-girlfriend article here. Asian chicks article here.

WALKING HURTS. 

Comments (14)

AWWWW.

October 26, 2006 at 10:21 pm | Filed under joyful girl, the internets

Thank you, Mara, for the e-mail.

From an isangsikreto entry:

Go to my LJ and check out the “she’s totally awesome” component on my layout.

Dude, I, like, miss being an LJ Celebrity or whatever.

OKAY, SO I’M OFF TO SUBMIT ANNA BERDAN’S PHOTO TO SOME MAIL-TO-ORDER BRIDE SITE. CHEERS!

Comments (3)

I’M NOT AN ADDICT; I’M THE DRUG!

August 31, 2006 at 7:17 am | Filed under LAWLZ you idiot, the internets

Edit// This is getting longer. 

Dear THINKFORONCE,

I don’t get why you go by the alias THINKFORONCE or USEYOURHEAD (I bet that’s you, too). You have something against spaces (and correct grammar, while we’re at it)? THINK FOR ONCE. USE YOUR HEAD. Doesn’t that sound better?

On the other hand, brainless is one word. Thinkforonce and useyourhead are three words each. My point? Insults are more effective when not thrown out in a laughable manner.

Also. You don’t make sense. Or maybe it’s just me. I don’t understand moronese. Come back here when you:

• are capable of constructing sentences in english,
• are capable of understanding sentences constructed in english,
• know the difference between your and you’re,
• know what a “whore” is,
• come to terms with the idea that people who don’t agree with your opinions aren’t necessarily stupid and;
• HECK, I’LL GO OUT ON A LIMB HERE— come to terms that YOU’RE (not your!) the dumbfuck here.

Am I even supposed to dignify your comments?

LEARN THE FACTS WHORE. she did lose 10 pounds in 9 days NOT EVERYONE IS AS STUPID AS YOU, youknow. Just because you didnt lose that much pounds doesnt me you wont die after, WELL GO AHEAD buy drugs and all that shit. i mean thanks to your STUPID blog, Hopefully your brain is going to get damage. That makes up for it.

“LEARN THE FACTS WHORE. she did lose 10 pounds in 9 days…” Where here did I say otherwise? Dude. Stop watching the news and pick up a grade school english textbook. Do something more productive with your time, too. I bet this is what your (not you’re!) whole day consists of: you wake up, go on-line, go to google and type in something like “lightsome, jowee ann marquez” in the search box, check to see if anyone new is lambasting your precious JAM, and then you proceed to make an idiot out of yourself. You preach the same thing over and over and over again. And anonymously, as expected. Get some balls.

Lightsome is awesome. What’s your point?

Love and Jesus Christ,
Helga

♥♥♥

Dear Arthur,

HAHAHA. ASSHAT.

Love and Jesus Christ,
Helga

♥♥♥

Dear Rose,

HAHA, this is hella funny, You dont sound as smart as you say you are.

Kindly point me to that part where I claim to be exactly that.

105? you can NEVER BE 105 pounds again? thats the DUMBEST thing i have ever heard.

And while you’re at it, go look up sarcasm in the dictionary. Or, for your convenience, click this link.

1. LIGHT SOME ISNT THE ONLY DIET PILLS. HELLO? You dont have to use drugs for losing weight, LIGHT SOME had illegal drugs in it. so the only reason you could be craving for it. might be because your an addict now. *SNIFSNIF* NOT.

I will ignore the grammatical errors and go straight to your underlined statements. Man, you guys sure know how misinterpret and assume stuff. I do not crave for Lightsome, the last time I took a pill was three weeks ago. Prior to that, I went seven months without it (or any diet pill for that matter). I’m addicted to what now?  

2. THERE is SUCH thing called a NATURAL DIET? so its kind of STUPID for you to say that you can never be 105 pounds again. Damn dont they teach you this? or is it actually common sense.

What the fuck is a natural diet, but a person’s NATURAL diet— meaning what a person eats without some form of control. So if I keep up with my NATURAL diet (you know, eating what’s natural AND normal for me), how the fuck am I supposed to lose weight? Won’t sticking to a NATURAL diet keep my weight at a standstill? 

Wimpy’s (from Popeye?) natural diet consists of hamburgers; Bugs Bunny, carrots; Koalas eucalyptus. Get it? 

“CLAPCLAP” ITS funny how you tend to say that if something happened to someone eles it wont happen to you? EXAMPLE NUMBER ONE: Losing 10 pounds in 9 days. LISTEN BIATCH, no one has to be like you to lose different amount of pounds. (people are different you know?) or maybe you did? hmmm…

What? And maybe I did what? Hmmmm?

3. YOU said it yourself, diet pills do fuck up your body. and the rest you said..

MAN YOU ARE SERIOUSLY CALLING YOU SELF STUPID TOO. HA HA.

hopefully you will finally check back to reality. so again. go ahead fuck up your body with different pills you dont even know came from i mean. IF you really are that stupid.

Hey, I’m not one to overdose, lose 10 pounds in 9 days, go into coma for nine hours and wake up with a damaged liver. It did say on the box: twice a day: 30 minutes before breakfast, 30 minutes before dinner.

Love and Jesus Christ,
Helga

Comments (9)

PETIKS!!!

August 29, 2006 at 8:23 am | Filed under ditz drivel, the internets

Aa has a Vox account. Sweetsummersweat. I squealed when I saw her at work today. We have opposite shifts: she’s 7pm to 4am, I’m 4am to 1pm. :( I should arrange a week-long sleepover at her place. IF ONLY CUBAO DIDN’T SUCK SO MUCH.

Crisel tagged me. Jesus, I haven’t been tagged in ages.

Rules:

1. Emphasize all lines that apply to you.
2. Tag five more people after you finish, complete with links to their sites.
3. Let the person you’ve tagged KNOW that they’ve been tagged, for Pete’s sake.

Before I go bold-happy, I tag the most unlikely people I know who’ll answer this: John Steven, Tracy, and Cris. :P Yep, only 3. I’m lazy, for Pete’s sake.

I wish I was a different ethnicity.
I have an eating disorder (wanarexia idiosia!).

Read the rest of the entry »

Comments off