FAQ

Q: Hey, Helga! Why does your layout look like shit?
A: You’re using Internet Explorer, aren’t you? I’ve got a question for you: why is your browser made of shit? Firefox! Now!
PS: I tried my best, asshole. It’s not my fault that IE has stupid padding values, or something like that.

Q: Wow. In your blog, you seem like this “liberated” and “wild” cock-chasing, sex-crazed whore. Are you like that in person?
Wow. Your question makes you sound like a sex-deprived and desperate-for-sex future sexual offender looking to get laid. I bet you are.

Q: Do you ever meet up with your readers?
A: Only during full dark, when I have a “job”, and in need of a white goat.

Q: Where do you work?
A: In The OC (The Ortigas Center).

Q: Where do you live?
A: Currently in the Upper East Side (Antipolo, Philippines).

Q: What’s the secret behind your luscious lips?
A: Lots of dick-sucking; as Tracy said: God knew I’d be giving lots of blowjobs. Also: collagen implants.

Q: Any weird habits we should watch out for, when we meet you in person?
A: I tear off the filters before smoking my cigarettes. Now, in your own words, summarize Said’s clash of civilizations, and do you agree that China is the next world’s superpower? Why or why not? Bonus points: during the Rwanda Genocide of 1997, the Clinton administration refused to send aid, and it can be argued that one of the reasons was that former US President Clinton feared a Somalia reflux. Question: if a Hutu man married a Tutsi woman, would it be apt to call their offspring a Tutu? Discuss.

Q: Are you bringing sexy back?
A: Nope. But I’m bringing tiddle back: “““““““““““““““““ Get your ` out!

Q: Any last words?
A: Shlorem shmipsum shdolor shit shamet.

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