RED TIGHTS: WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

August 8, 2008 at 3:37 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, the helga manual

I made a stupid mistake: without thinking, I bought a pair of opaque fluorescent red tights. No, I did not have Blair Waldorf in mind when I made the purchase. Neither was I contemplating a career in the circus nor was I aspiring to be a third world scene queen. I just walked into the store, grabbed a pair, and paid for it. I was vaguely imagining pairing it with my new black dress (really, Helga, black and red? Together? Really???) and for some reason, I had this demented idea that I could pull it off and look cute.

Wrong =(

(Please ignore my ancient pink stand fan)

So now I am stuck with a pair of bright red tights that I will probably never wear because such flashy and daring pieces of clothing is just way out of my “fashion” zone (if you’ve met me in person, you’ll know that I dress quite boringly). But I won’t give up, not without a fight! I turn to the lover who is scarily well-versed in girly things like make-up and women’s clothes:

Helga: Where do I wear these red tights to? It’s very Blair heehee. I need something dark and plaid. A dark plaid coat. AND MAYBE NEW YORK CITY WEATHER.
Lover: Don’t force the issue.

A lot of help, that guy. Never the mind, there’s always Uncle Google. A quick web search for how to wear red tights and I was able to gather this much:

“DON’T WEAR OPAQUE FLUORESCENT RED TIGHTS, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR NAME IS HELGA WEBER OR A PERSON IN DESPERATE NEED OF WEIGHT LOSS PILLS OR BOTH.”

But like I said, I won’t go down without a fight. I turned to google images and made a search for “red tights” for ideas on how I could properly wear such an abomination. From the lulzy pits of search results came several sparks of hope:

Read the rest of the entry »

Comments (21)

365.

August 4, 2008 at 11:49 pm | Filed under mr wonderful

So it’s been a year and I’ve been trying to come up with a proper entry for this day. Funnily enough, I can’t. I had one drafted; I wrote it in my mind earlier this evening while I was smoking three cigarettes on the steps outside my building (and thinking about acne products. I’m kidding). There was a slight drizzle, just like that night he picked me up at my place, a year ago. Drinks and conversation, that was the plan (it was actually supposed to be coffee and a movie, but I took my sweet time contacting him). We ended up holding hands, we ended up dancing, we ended up kissing, and we ended up in bed. That was the first night.

We’ve come a long way, really.

Comments (14)

IT’S FINALLY WITH ME!

August 3, 2008 at 11:28 pm | Filed under joyful girl, mr wonderful

Goodies from the lover: my gorilla pod, Batsing, and my external hard drive, Bhoy Backup! It’s been here (by here, I mean the Philippines) over a month but I only got it yesterday (with Mordo’s help!).

The first thing my dad said, after seeing what the gorilla pod is for: “Can we attach that to Peachy so we can have a Cat Cam?” (and no, I didn’t attempt. Maybe if I find a lighter camera). I’m so happy, especially for Bhoy Backup; I transferred my Gossip Girl and Veronica Mars episodes along with a bunch of other movies and videos and that easily freed up 10 gigs of laptop space. Next on my list: more RAM.

Batsing as a bird made out of tumors/a creature in need of finding out the latest life insurance rates (wait, what?):

Comments (14)

WORDLE IS FUN!

July 31, 2008 at 3:13 pm | Filed under the internets

Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes.

My blog’s word cloud:

My tumblr’s word cloud:

I’m a big fan of typography and color (and the art of fence installation huhlolz) so it’s not surprising that I am enjoying creating word cloud after word cloud a little too much. I especially love how the words beautifully relate to each other, despite the jumble and the random placement.

Comments (15)

I WISH I HAD SK1LLZ.

July 29, 2008 at 12:49 pm | Filed under art & design

Three iLOLstrations I started some weeks ago that I never got around to finishing:

Number 1 is supposed to be a schnauzer. I clearly failed. Numbers 2 and 3 are obviously the makings of two cats/kittens. Again, I failed (number 3 looks like a Chinese emperor, for chrissakes). I wish I had a pen tablet and the time to learn Adobe Illustrator.

I liked how my bobot turned out, though:

And my army of bobots:

Feel free to LOL and LMAO and ROFL at me.

I’ll probably work on doodling pedophiles hanging out by swing sets next. That’s something I’m bound to get done and not leave half-baked.

Comments (26)