June 11, 2008 at 3:57 am | Filed under camwhorage, ditz drivel, the helga manual
Things are going pretty good, if I may say so myself. Despite consuming about four packs of cigarettes over the long weekend, gaining five pounds of belly weight from stress-eating, and developing pains in body parts I never thought were capable of aching— I made it.
That said, I’m totally ready to get geeky. I just need to sort out several things, shake off my insecurities, and prepare myself to go back to wearing what my dad calls “ridiculous shoes”.
Anyway, some pictures:
HAPPY HOMES FOOD <3
THE UNHEALTHIEST AND YUMMIEST FOOD EVERRRRR.
I’VE BEEN EATING HAPPY HOMES FOOD
AND THEIR BREADED PORK CHOPS SINCE I WAS A COLLEGE FRESHMAN.
TAKING A BREAK. SHEAR GENIUS ON TV.
ME, DYING, AND THINKING ABOUT MEDITERRANEAN CRUISES
AND HOW AWESOME IT WOULD BE TO GO ON ONE.
Hee!
June 8, 2008 at 10:53 pm | Filed under ditz drivel, the helga manual
1. Up until February, for the past…oh, six years, all I needed to do to have a cigarette was to take a few steps away from my bed or out of my room. Now, I travel a minimum of half an hour just to get my nicotine fix.
This isn’t very funny.
2. I notice that whenever people tell me how hot or sexy or gorgeous I am, my initial reaction is to bleat at them (and no, it’s not false modesty nor am I being coy).
I should stop with the bleating, really, and just learn to shut up (like a good woman) and say “thank you”. I mean, it’s not like there’s anything more to me than that. It’s not like I have anything else going on for me. I’m not intellectually brilliant or anything.
Heh.
3. I’ve been in Katipunan since Friday, “working”, needing to complete several designs and templates and sites before Tuesday noon. Tuesday noon! I am stressed and nervous and I feel like I’m about to disintegrate because I really want this. I miss my cat and my boyfriend.
I wanna get my baby a cat tree.
June 6, 2008 at 2:22 am | Filed under camwhorage, ditz drivel, screen queen, the helga manual
It dawned on me today that I haven’t been reading much lately. In fact and to be exact, I haven’t read a single book AT ALL since I moved in with my folks last March. Instead of beating myself up over this absolutely unforgivable disservice to my brain or coming up with a handful of excuses as to why I’ve devolved into some airhead who thinks Mitch Albom’s The Five Five People You Meet In Heaven is the apex of literature (for the record: I don’t), I decided to just grab Catherine Liu’s Oriental Girls Desire Romance (which I began reading months ago), curl up in bed, and devote the next couple of hours to reading.
Uh-oh. No coffee. More importantly, no cigarettes. It may seem silly to you— and this is the part of me I’d love to see led out behind the barn one night and shot— but I’ve been conditioned to only be able to work properly when I have a constant supply of caffeine and nicotine coursing through my, uh, veins (alcohol helps a whole lot, too, sometimes). Sure, reading non-fiction doesn’t really count as “work”, especially when there is no book review to be written afterwards; but reading requires brain activity and some level of reflection and rumination. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I am even more stupid without my socially-accepted drugs.
Book in hand, I left my room and plopped down on the couch beside my mom. That proved to not be the brightest of ideas because as soon as I sat down and folded my legs beneath me, Pinoy Big Brother Teens came on and my mom told me to go online and vote for this dude.
My face, it went like this: -_-
Things that kept me from getting any actual reading done:
1. Kat DeLuna’s Whine Up video.
2. Pinoy Big Brother Teens and how the more I try to wrap my head around it, the more hopeless the general Filipino public seems to me.
3. Finding a place. Here’s the deal: I live ridiculously far from the city and three months of _this_ is really all I can take. The plan is for my older brother and I to get a place together near his school. I gave my mom our options: a 2-bedroom unit in Cubao, Anonas, Sikatuna Village, or Katipunan/Loyola Heights (I really really want to move back to my comfort zone).
Currently, I am going through the ads on Buy and Sell Philippines and Sulit.Com.Ph and while this isn’t exactly torture (I actually like e-hunting for apartments), I am quite the frustrated kitty. Is it truly possible to not be able to google a place/address? More importantly, do I really want to live in a street, area, or building that cannot be found on Wikimaps?
Sad kitty eats Oreo cookie now:
If by any chance you’re from North Carolina (huhlolz. But at least that’s on Wikimaps *grumble*), check out NC health insurance.
June 4, 2008 at 9:43 pm | Filed under lists
Lover and I were going through my google analytics stats this morning and boy, did we find some gems in my referring keywords. I bring to you a list of the funniest:
“lots of blowjobs”
“jerry yan” armpit hair
amanda bynes armpits
armpit fetish
armpit obsessions
blake lively tits
battered housewife syndrome
boobs africa
fucking lara
golden net sex
so i guess what they say is true i could never be the right kind of girl for you
helga fuck
helga the beer girl
how many washrooms required for 300 employees
karir britney spears 2008
lara croft taking shit
sexy hairy armpits
the importance of the stream of consciousness
what is your panty
what to do when you’re a ditz
What is my panty? Currently black. How many washrooms required for 300 employees?? Definitely more than two. Boobs Africa??? Yes, they do have women with breasts there.
What are your odd search keywords?
Also: who’d think there was such a thing as medical alert bracelets?
June 3, 2008 at 6:46 pm | Filed under lists
I haven’t been in the mood to blog lately and I blame this on Mercury retrograde. Alas, I need to blog and so I make a list! Several, in fact! Hurray!
Some favorite songs from Gossip Girl:
1. Beautiful World - Carolina Liar
2. Glamorous - Constance Billard Choir
3. Rippin’ Up The Disco - Kylie Minogue
4. Guess Who (Parov Stelar Remix) - Nekta
5. Stripper - Soho Dolls
6. Secret - The Pierces
7. Hard To Live (In The City) - Albert Hammond, Jr.
8. Campus - Vampire Weekend
Some favorite songs from the Veronica Mars OST:
1. Lost and Found - Adrienne Pierce
2. I Turn My Camera On - Spoon
3. Ocean City Girl - Ivy
4. I Hear The Bells - Mike Doughty
5. Sway - The Perishers
Some favorite ~I Am In Love, The World Is A Pretty Song~ songs:
1. Put Your Arms Around Me - Natasha Bedingfield
2. Dream - Alice Smith
3. The Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson
4. Near You Always - Jewel
5. Make Me Better - Fabolous
6. Stars - Au Revoir Simone
Now go check out led tail lights for your car!
Page 3 of 50«12345»...Last »
Hi, my name's Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 23. My first socio-political scandal will happen at the age of 35 and will include men, sushi, an African country, and lots of money. My lover is the greatest. 
