I hate it when my temper gets the best of me (because a bad mood is no excuse to be rude to other people), but I hate it more when I can’t do anything about it but suck it up and try my hardest to keep calm. And sulk. And wallow in self-pity for feeling as powerless as this.
I want nothing more than to starve myself to skinniness and lock myself up in my room.
ARGH.
Comments off
I’m supposed to be on my way to work but I have to go to the hospital first, have my right wrist immobilized or something, and get a medical certificate before I can show my face at the office. I am NEVER attempting to do yoga ever again. Whilst drunk, that is.
On changing my domain name. Well, I’ve got the choices down to three: helgatheweber.com, weberhasflavor.com (thanks, Baddie!), and helgaholic.com (as suggested by the mancandy). I super like all three; good thing I’m broke as a single mom with a drug addiction at the moment, so I have about 15 days to decide on one.
CT: helgaholic is available btw
CT: as is helgasms
helgatheweber: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
helgatheweber: Stop giving me more options!!!
Moving on, I want a Lomo. Like, I will pay 4252345 men to sleep with me for one. I mean, check this out:
Taken with my point-and-shoot Cybershot:
Taken with Jeanette, Drew’s Lomo:
Are you nodding with me here?
Again. Cybershot shot:
Versus Lomo shot:
Lomos: making drinking beer at 7 in the morning look good.
I WANT AN ACTION SAMPLER, TOO!!!
All Lomo shots are taken by the Katipunan Weather Boy.
Also, I’m never drinking again.
Also, I’ve tasted heaven. The much vaunted Cupcakes by Sonja over at Serendra? HEAVEN HEAVEN HEAVEN. Sonja should come up with, like, a rum cupcake. I mean, if the alcohol’s in my food, it’s not considered drinking, ya?
I was going through my old LJ entries yesterday, in an attempt to re-acquaint myself with this person whom I shall now call Miriam College Helga (not to be confused with Miriam College-Girl Helga— which she never was).
A picture of Miriam College Helga. Drunk. Out of her college level mind. Doing the Emily Rose thing.:
From what I gather and from what I’ve read, Miriam College Helga and I aren’t very different from each other. We both like the same things such as long drunken walks on the beach, making fun of ugly people, power, ambassadors, crash diets, and emotionally-abusive men. I think Miriam College Helga and I are MFEO and I should seriously consider lesbianism.
So I went ahead and compiled a list of my favorite Miriam College Helga LJ entries. The public and deemed “safe” ones, that is. Too bad most of her entries have been privatized and too bad my proxy hates LJ (I can log in to MCH’s account, but I can’t go to her archives or access her journal afterwards) because I would so love to dig up show off her emo post-teenage angst VERY INTELLIGENT COLLEGE-Y entries and put them here. But anyway.
1. Conversing with god, posted March 3, 2005.
HELGA (aka the little cramming twerp): god, please, if you help me and promise me that I won’t die tonight and I can finish writing these two papers before my brain shuts down and melts into a puddle of melted butter oozing out of my nose, I promise I will never ever everevereverever do anything bad until I die or turn 50 (whichever comes first).
GOD (aka the big bad ass kahuna): heh, di ako naniniwala sa ‘yo.
Ohno ohno ohno ohno, the Ionamine is wearing off!!!!!!!!
2. Here with my best friend, posted September 9, 2005.
So Aa and I are thinking of doing something stupid. Like start a drug addiction.
3. Excerpt from New acquisitions, posted May 14, 2006.
I don’t wanna go back to college this June. I want to audition for Pinoy Big Brother and keep working at eTelecare instead. My new goal in life is to be absolutely and horribly jaded by the time I hit the age of 24. I also plan to be kinda-unbelievably rich by that time so I can quit my job and start hunting for that ambassador who will make an ambassadress out of me.
And then I live happily ever after until the age of 35. Or until my first socio-political (and very much public) scandal.
Someone obviously needs to sleep.
4. Excerpt from Holy ho, I’m bored, posted December 27, 2005.
Stop selling myself short, stop acting like a ditz.
But I like being dumb and vapid and getting all ebullient over the shallowest things, like beer bubbles and new shoes. I’m scared I’m turning into a real ditz, though. Case in point:ME: Dad, I know there’s a movie marathon on HBO today.
So starting next year, my entries shall be formal, sophisticated, classy, devoid of hahas and OMGs, and boring. It’s for my own good. I need to be formal, sophisticated and classy because I plan on marrying a diplomat.
5. Excerpt from Schoolgirl crush!!!, posted on…okay so LJ’s kicked me out.
He was wearing a white ONE wristband and I had the urge to start a conversation, amidst our class discussion, about thesis and Live8 and makepovertyhistory and Bono and Rockstar Politics and all that jazz. Anythiiiiiiing.
He’s an MC graduate and was one of Radj’s favorite students. Radj called him Paulo and I thought “Shit, he’s going to be a bitch to find on Friendster what with the 134563287563 million Paulos in the world.” Damn it, of all the days to come in late, it had to be today!
HE’S ALSO A LAW STUDENT AND OMG, I WANNA MARRY A HOT LAW STUDENT AND I CAN LISTEN TO HIM RATTLE ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT THE CONSTITUTION AND I’LL GLADLY COOK HIS BREAKFAST, SHINE HIS SHOES AND DO HIS LAUNDRY. OMG, anything for a law student husband, a litigator ala John the Biscuit on Ally McBeal (but hot and without the gazillion quirks).
Law student! So smart! He’d comment every now and then and OMG I love how he talks and I had to not be so obvious so I just kept on doodling on my notebook, throwing Radj some questions for clarification about the laws we were discussing. Wow, that’s a long sentence. AND RADJ HAD TO MAKE FUN OF ME TODAY! But it’s okay! That gave me a reason to talk and dazzle him with my wit and charm and fantastic sense of humor! When Radj asked if I brushed my teeth cos it looked like I just woke up, it gave me a reason to give a big smile! Rrrrrrrrawr!
Sedition! It’s a legal technicality! He said so! I believe him!
It’s a bit alarming how I’m still the same ditzy college student. No wonder I fail at life. Maturity, where are you!
Also, I just got PWOTted. :blah:
Planning on changing my domain name, because really, ditz-revolution AND blog.ditz-revolution are just too long. I should’ve listened to John over a year ago, when he suggested I go get helgrrrl.com.
A huge part of me wants to keep the ‘ditz’ part. Ditz-x.com, perhaps? But I also want my name in there. Helgatheweber.com, maybe? Then there’s also helgrrr.com and helgrrrl.com. Also, lolkitty.com, if it’s available.
Superditz.com? Naaaah. That’s just too funneh (bugs bunneh).
Odd odd day. I was in the sourest of moods up until 15 minutes ago.
Also:
From: Ramil_Ventus
Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 3:22 PM
To: Helga Gabrielle Weber
Subject: RE:I cant help it! I do it subconsciously.
Sabi lang ng kasama ko, “Ano ba makatingin to si ventus parang hinuhubaran na yung babae! Grabe.”
Then I was like, “What? Whaddido?”
From: Helga Gabrielle Weber
Sent: Friday, August 31, 2007 4:17 AM
To: Ventus, Ramil
Subject: RE:WHAT
From: Ramil_Ventus
Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 3:14 PM
To: Helga Gabrielle Weber
Subject: RE:No. Mob. Angry boyfriends. Meh.
From: Helga Gabrielle Weber
Sent: Friday, August 31, 2007 4:13 AM
To: Ventus, Ramil
Subject: RE:Boner? :P
From: Ramil_Ventus
Sent: Thursday, August 30, 2007 3:12 PM
To: Helga Gabrielle Weber
Subject: RE:He turned his entire blog into a forum? WHAT?!
SKINNY JEANS will get me killed someday.
What a voyeur, that Ramil guy is. And what a gay:
Flash dicks? Okay.
I’m in a bad mood again. Did I just hear our team manager say ‘Chuchubells’???
Ever since I noticed a few months ago that people have been Googling my name, I’ve made it a habit to do the same every now and then, if only to see if anything new would come up in the search results. So far, only boring stuff show up (this blog, an old LJ account, and my Twitter are on the first page), which is good. Not that I’m paranoid or anything, I’m just glad that all search results are directed here. Out of curiosity, I googled my brother’s name, too:
My brother’s name yields more awesome results than my name, so I find validation in being nominated for the Hot Hot Hot as Jalapeno Pinoy Blogger Award in the Pinoy Evil Blog Awards. Not that I have any clue as to what the whole thing’s for or how the nomination came about (besides my posting way too many photos of me in my underwear here), but it’s pretty cool.
(So I revisited The Helga Weber Numbers and I suddenly feel the need to resurrect it, if only as a dumping place for stuff that I can’t afford to post publicly.)
MONDAY RANDOM!
A quotation (it is beyond words how much comfort I find in this passage):
It is a world of impulse. It is a world of sincerity. It is a world in which every word spoken speaks just to that moment, every glance given has only one meaning, each kiss is a kiss of immediacy.
-Einstein’s Dreams, Alan Lightman
A photo:
A quasi-epiphany:
It hit me over dinner last Sunday night that perhaps the reason why life seems to be a more pleasant ride nowadays is that I no longer question the order of things. I just mock them, in my own seemingly innocuous way.
And a question:
One of the things I’ve learned from Mr Supervisor is that we tend to attract what we think about the most. It’s nothing new, really, as I’ve always known just how powerful channeling one’s positive or negative energy is (having taken an interest in Wicca back in highschool and looking for a rational explanation for spells. Well, as rational as you can get with Wicca); it’s just something I didn’t take seriously or didn’t acknowledge enough.
The question is: what’s one constant thing that’s been occupying my mind lately?
Bah.
Copyright Helga Weber | May 2008 | Sitemap | Manila Barbie | Top
There are currently 294 posts and 4,385 comments, contained within 28 categories and 166 tags.
Hi, my name's Helga Weber and welcome to my personal site. I'm 23. My first socio-political scandal will happen at the age of 35 and will include men, sushi, an African country, and lots of money. My lover is the greatest. More?
