Not really.

Last night, I left work at the usual time: 9:05ish pm. The walk from my building along Emerald Avenue to the front of Galleria (the side facing EDSA) was uneventful and normal. I smoked one cigarette, zipped past people, and arrived at the bus stop only slightly sweaty with Kat DeLuna yelling into my ears. And then I noticed something unusual: a crowd of people waiting for buses that weren’t there. It wasn’t raining. Previous nights, bus conductors had to practically beg for me to choose and get on their bus. Tonight, there were no men in yellowed white polos screaming CUBAO IBABAW! LETRE! FAIRVIEW! MALANDAY! while waving signs at me.

Weird.

I took off my hoodie and stuffed it in my bag, took out another cigarette, and weighed my options: wait for a bus or walk along EDSA to the Ortigas MRT station? I peeked down the bus stop lane and saw ONE BUS and about ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE frantically trying to board it. I exaggerate the number of people, yes, but that scene alone made me decide to take the metro. Or the train, as non-pretentious Filipinos (aka not me lol) call it.

Making it past the bus stop lane alone was a challenge. Because Filipinos have this incomprehensible tendency to block the way and hassle everyone around them, I had to elbow my way through people (also: I had put out my cigarette before doing so because I am a considerate person who isn’t the kind to blow smoke directly into people’s faces. I help old folks cross the street and open doors for women, too). Once I got past that, I then had to deal with throngs of people who had the same destination as I. Lemme change that: throngs of people who had the same destination as I, walking ever so sloooooooooooowly, ambling along the very polluted EDSA like they were having a Sunday stroll at the park…which is actually an odd thing to say, as I know no Filipinos who take Sunday strolls at the park. I mean, in my 23 years here, I have yet to do that. Maybe a Saturday or a Sunday picnic at Sunken Garden (which, by the way, needs a Wikipedia entry), yes. But a Sunken Garden Sunday stroll? LOL.

So there I was, willing my feet to match their pace while I waited for the perfect opportunity to overtake the slowpokes who seemed to enjoy breathing in the vehicular exhaust. I thought I had gotten my chance when there were no people coming from the opposite direction so I switched to the left lane, quickened my step and BAM! The dude in front of me who wasn’t exactly Speedy Gonzales switched to the left lane, too. Did he speed up? Of course, not.

I wanted to slap the back of his head.

Whenever I find myself having to deal with the (public transportation-taking) Filipino masses, I always have this scene playing in my mind: basically, I am Helga and I am in a rush to get somewhere and all these people are in my way and I need to pee real bad and I am angry and so I bust out a Barbie-pink armalite and open fire and everyone turns into fuzzy pink puffballs of lint.

Yo. How’s the job search going? HUHLOLZ.

*Or as Dante suggested: settling-in-at-your-preferred-drinking-spot hour.

• Bangkok 8, John Burdett
• The Future Dictionary of America, various authors
• The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, Stephen King
• Influence, Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen
• The Interpreter, Suki Kim. I have this curious attraction to *insert Asian ethnicity here*-American-themed novels and it’s kind of bad cos I never really get past the first few chapters (Amy Tan is an exception) since I can’t really relate to the characters and their hang-ups usually rooted in their cultural backgrounds. But what the heck.
• Killing Johnny Fry, Walter Mosley
• Love is a Mix Tape, Rob Sheffield
• Speak, Laurie Halse Anderson. There’s also a movie (starring Kristen Stewart) which I am currently looking for to download.

The following Francesca Lia Block books (I finally got my first FLB book today, I Was A Teenage Fairy. I can’t wait to get my ass home, curl up in a corner, and try to read it in a span of two or three hours):

• Ecstasia
• Nymph
• Girl Goddess #9: Nine Stories
• Primavera
• Psyche in a Dress
• Wasteland

I’d buy all these books in a heartbeat (but not all at the same time, maybe half of the list every credit card cut-off heh) if only shipping didn’t cost so much.

Aaaaand a picture. It’s blurry, but my shirt says “Santa Claus is a Pedophile”.

Read about car insurance here :)

I don’t know what WP Webhost’s definition of cool is but I figured it’s worth a shot to join their Wordpress Coolest Blog Competition and hope that I win one of three prizes they’re giving away.

There is no voting process; all you have to do is make a blog entry about the contest and get five comments. Easy stuff, really, and if any of my regular readers refuse to comment on this entry because they don’t want me to win: gasp! You hurt my feelings.

Halpz me, I need monies for pole dancing classes!

Also, check out this small business for sale.

The concept behind 60daystohotness is this: everyday for the next two months, Drew will be blogging hanggang pumogi siya/until he gets hot. Judging by his current entries, he hasn’t exactly been doing as planned but let’s cut the dude some slack. Last I checked, he had a sexy 22″ LCD monitor connected to his laptop so who knows how many B-list arthouse (lol) films (like Trash House) have him pre-occupied. Perhaps a blog entry in his honor could serve as a nudge and encourage him to

To Drew’s cause, I pledge a piece of fitness equipment: a (does-this-really-work-I-don’t-think-this-works) slimming waist belt!

Less than 200 pesos at your nearest Mercury Drug outlet! Perhaps you’d like to send some hottifying goodies Drew’s way? A bottle of nearing-its-expiration-date glutathione pills? A two-month supply of Master Eskinol (sikreto ng mga guwapo)? A whole ream of Marlboro Reds (as we all know, a cigarette is one’s best accessory)? Measuring tape to track his progress? Membership at Mr O’s Gym along Xavierville Avenue? All kinds of donations are welcome!

Nothing gets my taste buds tingling with excitement like the thought of chocolate and booze. Obviously, I’m a huge fan (and consumer) of both and I would gladly spend any day in a chocolate and alcohol-laced haze of decadence. And that’s exactly what I’ll be doing this coming Friday, November 14, at Elation Buffet’s launch/opening party. For PHP250 (the price of one ticket), guests will be treated to a night of overflowing signature shooters and chocolate fondue.

Event details:

When: November 14, 2008 [An after dinner event]
Where: The Grand Terrace [#5 Villanueva Drive, Commonwealth Ave., Q.C.]
Time: 8:30 p.m. [PARTYING WILL GO ON AND ON AND ON!]
Attire: Party glam

For tickets, you may contact any of the following: Vero: 09178516637, Aina: 09175203214, Issa: 09175811709, Joyce: 09175811710.

And the drinks list, lifted off Benj’s site:

23 SIGNATURE INDIVIDUAL SHOOTERS

1. Spongebob Bath
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? This pays tribute to the underwater cartoon character everyone knows! Fresh pineapple with a simple alcohol beverage will surely quench your fruity cravings!

2. Original Sin
This is a refreshing apple concoction, which creates a surprising sting.

3. Cuba Libre
This contains the great match of the spirit of soda with aged dark rum. Simply irresistible!

4. Confucius
This is a mixture of different tastes, which may be puzzling, but will be an ultimate favorite!

5. Ocean Joy
Just the sight of an ocean put into a drink will give you a relaxing, euphoric experience!

6. Goddess
Everyone fantasizes to be a mythical god or goddess while reclining and being fed with grapes. This has grapes, which are fresh and juicy, with the perfect mix of tartness.

7. Backstabber
You may think that this is a light and sugary shooter, but little do you know that this has a sharp taste of alcohol backstabbing you.

8. Bittersweet Sunset
This is a perfect combination of fruity juices and liquors with a smooth taste, which you will definitely cherish!

9. Scorching Discovery
Instead of the traditional and plain tequila, why not combine it with a light fruity flavor, which makes this ultimately refreshing!

10. Landslide
This black forest drink will give your tongue the benefit of a crusty, fudgy landing, which will flow smoothly from the tip of your tongue to your throat.

11. Melon Madness
This mild melon mixture with yummy melon syrup will make you crave for more!

12. Midsummer Night
This has the best of both worlds, swishing your tongue with a sour and sweet blend.

13. Flamingo Pomelo
This will give you a sour kick you will enjoy!

14. Tine’s Lunchbox
Remember the good old days when all you had was a peanut butter sandwich and a banana inside your lunchbox? Well, this will bring back those fun snack times with your playmates!

15. Pseudo Margarita
This is our special version of the lemon lime margarita!

16. Daredevil
This is a mixture of various kinds of alcohol with your favorite carbonated drinks, which make this drink more thrilling!

17. Aphrodite
Who will not love a rich chocolate shooter coupled with another layer of thick, pure chocolate at the bottom?!

18. Sarsaparilla
Everyone misses the old fashioned root beer! But put together with your favorite liquor and sweet jelly will give you a taste of its modern bubbly sweetness.

19. Playground
Who does not know the famous Philippine chocolate, Chocnut?! The amazing chocolate and peanut taste we once loved is now made even more captivating! This will certainly bring kindergarten memories!

20. Earth Fusion
Just seeing the colors of this drink will remind you of our mother earth. The green surprise at the end added to earthy, fruity flavors will surely become a hit!

21. Buco Pandan
Surprise What is a better idea than transforming our favorite dessert into a shot with a native surprise at the bottom?! For sure, this will be a crowd pleaser!

22. Cappuccino Getaway
This is the perfect coffee cappuccino shooter, a definite stress reliever.

23. Sweet Temptation
You may be hesitant to drink this at first because of its black color, but if you try it, you will appreciate its sweet, strong and unforgettable taste!

8 SIGNATURE SET SHOOTERS

1. Four Seasons
a. Winter - This is a cool and smooth drink with the right amount of unique sweet frosting, which makes it even more exciting!
b. Spring - This light fruity drink will remind you of budding sweet cherry blossoms during spring time.
c. Summer - Thinking of a perfect Hawaiian summer vacation? Well, this tropical drink will give you a taste of the getaway you will never forget.
d. Fall - How about a modern taste of tea, which will remind you of memories during autumn?

2. Stages of Love
a. Attraction - Everything starts when you see that attractive person. This shot is milky and fruity with red, sweet syrup, which will surely be a sight to sigh upon.
b. Infatuation - Next comes what we call “in like.” After Attraction, this shooter begins to thicken and
become stronger, but still pampers your mouth with its dairy and smooth taste.
c. Love - Of course, next is love. This has the perfect taste everyone is looking for.
d. Obsession - You think everything ends with love? You are probably wrong. Sometimes, it leads to
Obsession. This shot has a very strong taste, which you can never let go.

No DNA testing will occur during the event. LOL.

And then yesterday, Starbucks fanatico Gel plurked that they replaced my drink with something new: Dark Cherry Mocha. I was slightly disappointed but since I’m a big fan of cherries and mocha is my favorite coffee flavor, I got over it pretty quickly ;)

A little too quickly, actually, cos I made a Starbucks run last night and got myself a nice hot tall dark cherry mocha:

I left with my drink…and my sticker card:

Oh dear, here we go again. My last ‘bucks planner was from 2006. At least this time around, you only need to complete 16 stickers (and the first one is on Starbucks). Fourteen more to go!

This year’s holiday featured beverages:

• Dark Cherry Mocha
• Toffee Nut Latte
• Praline Mocha

I’d love to have Cinnamon Dolce, Gingerbread Latte, and Pumpkin Spice added to the holiday mix in the coming years.

Now if there was a sticker card to get free Harley parts, ya?

Despite the very newbish post-it directional sign, the first <form> function() & .class mini web conference last October 30 was a success. Out of the 60 confirmed guests, a little less than 50 showed up at G2VC’s swanky Technobar for four hours of networking and web geekery.

SOMETHING LESS LULZY. PHOTO CRED GOES TO IA.

Mae was jittery the whole day but I was pretty confident that we (by we, I mean Mae, Ia, Marie, JP, Aja, Sarah, Regnard, and Kaffee) could do it. And do it, we did!

The speakers:

Jojo Esposa and his overview on Philippines Laws Supporting Web Accessibility.

Rico Sta Cruz who spoke about Phi: Golden Ration on the Web.

Regnard Raquedan’s Resolving Resolutions.

Interaction Design by Rey Mendoza, Jr. I snapped a photo of the link where his presentation could be downloaded from, but it’s in my laptop back home. Heh.

Web standards advocate Aja Lapus on Alternatives to HTML Deprecated Features.

Building Successful User Interfaces by Marco Palinar.

And some random pictures:

Finally, a big thank you to the sponsors: Syndeomedia Labs, dotPH, and Pinoy Web Startup.

Watch out for more mini web design conferences (the plan is to have one every month) and see you all at the big event April next year!

Click here for information on fibromyalgia.

You see, save for that one time I dug my nails into the flesh of his back and scratched downwards (which freaked him out, by the way, because he felt I was treating him the way I treated my past men), I’m quite the boring one in bed. Theoretically, I like rough sex; I like the idea of biting and hair-pulling and wrestling and the occasional gentle slams against a wall as you hurriedly undress your partner. But once I find myself in the bedroom with the prospect of sex hanging heavy in the air, all porn-worthy ideas are discarded and end up in a heap on the floor, much like our underthings and those obstructive pair of jeans I’ve been dying to rip off his body the second after I kissed him hello. When in the moment, all I want is to make love to him. I guess it’s safe to say that my idea of hot, mind-blowing sex is that of married, good old vanilla sex.

Fantasies, especially those of the sexual kind, aren’t beyond me/us, though. Lover and I have had several conversations about this and amusingly enough, even our so-called wildest fantasies fall short of the debauchery category. Most are visual (cameras and the like) and I’ve been told I get frisky in the presence of mirrors. But start mentioning “whips and chains” and “spanking” and “golden showers” and “spider glue traps” and you’ll see us squirming or giggling to hide our discomfort. It’s not that we’re a couple of prudes or that we’re being children about it; it’s just not our proverbial cup of (sexual) tea.

I’m far from uptight in the bedroom so I guess I just like keeping things…sweet. My attempts at or ideas of naughty probably won’t make even the most junior of sexual outlaws nod in approval, which in a way disappoints me because I see it as a lack of imagination and creativity on my part. There was this one time, though, when I asked lover if he’d ever tried role-playing. Negative, but did I want to? “Yes! Let’s pretend to be poor people!” is what I said. I think. Poor people or farmers or maybe domestic helpers, I don’t recall.

I was obviously kidding, as the idea of role-play in the bedroom is silly to me. But all this doesn’t mean I’m completely ruling out taking a (sexual) walk on the wild side (with the exception of threesomes. No more threesomes. Unless the other girl is Veronica Mars WHO IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, everybody go w00t w00t). We all do get a little playful sometimes and I think it’s the greatest thing having a person you can totally be comfortable getting naughty with.

(Random Musing #3957493876)

Since I am new to the hood, it’s all still very unfamiliar. I have yet to find a laundromat and I’m guessing I won’t find any in my vicinity since there are no nearby dorms or condominium buildings. I’ve been doing my own laundry, washing my clothes in the sink and rinsing them in the bathroom before hanging them out to dry in the tiny laundry area we have that currently houses our stove (need to have a table built for it). I also need to hire a cleaning lady to come in every Sunday because getting down on all fours and scrubbing the floors isn’t exactly my thing and mops and I don’t exactly get along.

Party soon. So long as some of you promise to help with cleaning up. :)

Look at this— snippets from my personal site’s profile page from five years ago:

I am a very boring person. It’s always the same with me: coffee, cereal drinks, alcohol, cigarettes, books, clubs, bars, school and the occasional boytoy. Yep. That’s basically my life’s story. Nothing new ever happens to me. Which is good. I’m so vulnerable I don’t think I could handle change.

I’m so vulnerable I don’t think I could handle change.??????? I just gave myself goosebumps of horror and disgust. That is, like, the most un-Helga-like declaration ever and I would like to justify that with the fact that when I was 17, I was hanging out at my neighborhood Starbucks, reading Jean-Paul Sartre, doodling on my arms with my neon pink Stabilo Bos because it seemed so indie and so cool, and having meaningful and important and college-y conversations with people who juggled existential crises on a daily basis.

I like starting my sentences with “I” or “My”. I am God. I am worshipped. I have more brain activity than you do. My my my, what do have here, an idiot! Of course, I have days when my narcissism takes a backseat and I actually begin my sentences with “You”. You moron. You dumbass, you. You little shit.

What an extremely embarrassing paragraph and I just had to put that out there to give all of you the go signal to poke fun at me for being such a conceited, self-absorbed fuckwit. Your tittering and jeering shall be my repentance for being so…lulzy. It would’ve been forgivable if I was trying to be funny, but I think I was dead serious and completely delusional back then.

Quick, I need validation that I am no longer that person.

Chronic pimple poppers (like me) should find this interesting: acne scar treatments.